I received this mail a few days back.
Please read it through at least once.
And then, please let me know what YOU think of it.
Being a muslim woman myself, I have a fair idea of what any other muslim woman would say about it.
But I want YOUR point of view. If you are a non-muslim reading this (even if you are reading it months after I’ve posted this article) then please give me your opinion of the text below. You might think of being politically correct, but that is not what I want. I want your complete honesty. If you choose to be anonymous, so be it.
Take a few seconds and think of what exactly comes to your mind after reading this .
————————————-
A Letter to the West
By Yasmin Mogahed
July 3, 2005
Growing up, you read me the Ugly Duckling. And for years I believed that was
me. I am a woman-that ugly duckling among men. For so long you taught me I
was nothing more than a bad copy of the standard.
I couldn’t run as fast or lift as much. I didn’t make the same money and I
cried too often. I grew up in a man’s world where I didn’t belong.
And when I couldn’t be him, I wanted only to please him. I put on your
makeup and wore your short skirts. I gave my life, my body, my dignity, for
the cause of being pretty. I knew that no matter what I did, I was worthy
only to the degree that I could please and be beautiful for my master.
And so I spent my life on the cover of Cosmo and gave my body for you to sell.
I was a slave, but you taught me I was free. I was your object, but you
swore it was success. You taught me that my purpose in life was to be on
display, to attract and be beautiful for men. You had me believe that my
body was created to market your cars. And you raised me to think I was an ugly duckling.
But you lied.
Islam tells me I’m a swan. I’m different-it’s meant to be that way. And my
body, my soul, were created for something more.
God says in the Qur’an: “O mankind, We created you from a single (pair) of a
male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know
one another (not that you may despise each other).
Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of God is the one who is most righteous”
(Al-Hujurat 49:13).
So I am honored. But it is not by my relationship to men. My value as a
woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like
me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness
and piety. And my purpose in life-despite what the fashion
magazines say-is something more sublime than just looking good for men.
And so God tells me to cover myself, to hide my beauty, and to tell the
world that I’m not here to please men with my body; I’m here to please God.
God elevates the dignity of a woman’s body by commanding that it be
respected and covered, shown only to the deserving-only to the man I marry.
So to those who wish to “liberate” me, I have only one thing to say:
Thanks, but no thanks.
I’m not here to be on display.
And my body is not for public consumption.
I will not be reduced to an object or a pair of legs to sell shoes.
I’m a soul, a mind, a servant of God.
My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character.
So I won’t worship your beauty standards, and I don’t submit to your fashion sense.
My submission is to something higher.With my veil I put my faith on display-rather than my beauty.
My value as a human is defined by my relationship with God, not by my looks. So I cover the irrelevant.
And when you look at me, you don’t see a body. You view me only for what I am: a servant of my Creator.
So you see, as a Muslim woman, I’ve been liberated from a silent kind of
bondage. I don’t answer to the slaves of God on earth.I answer to their King.
—————————————————-
As an after thought, I realized, that the religion here is incidental. The focus of the mail is on women and our dependency on men to realize our self-worth.
I can see the same sentiments being expressed by a Sadhvi who has embraced Diksha, or any Nun spending her life in the service of God.
Only difference here is that Islam does not believe in women giving up their desires in the name of God. So we don’t believe in celibacy. It goes against the human nature. A muslim woman is free to marry, have children and have a normal life. It does not affect her relationship with God.
Anyhow, there must be a zillion thoughts rushing through your mind right now. Some may agree with the above text, some may not.
In either case, I would seriously like to know what actually irritates you or which part of the text you seemingly agree with.
I’d like to repeat once more, please be honest with your reply. We cheat no one , but ourselves with our words.
And I’m seriously looking forward to hearing your opinions. Maybe it’ll help me understand myself better. Or maybe it won’t 
Who knows 
?!!
I shall come back and respond to this. Right now in a different frame of mind so my best wont come out
Nice read though. I sometimes feel , there are so mnay things lying around on the net and everywhere which we havent read or gone through.
Waiting I am
*tapping fingers on the table*
Hello Momofrs,
I’m the author of this piece. Thanks for posting. I just wanted to point out one important correction: the title. It should be: ‘A Letter to the Culture that Raised me’. The other title gives a wrong impression as an outsider attacking “the West”, when in fact I am being self critical of the culture I grew up in.
Anyhow, I just wanted to make that correction.
Thanks,
Yasmin
Hello Yasmin,
Thanks for dropping by.
I’ll make the correction right now.
In the first part of the article, there is an condemnation of surrendering to whims and fancy of men which is understandable.
But in the second part, what exactly the author means by “So to those who wish to “liberate” me” ?
I am not very clear what the author is trying to say here.
The second part of the article sounds more like a confirmation of what is right (for the author) as per the author’s perception which could be quite different from the perception of a human being who has grown up in living conditions entirely opposite to that of the author.
True liberation is never with respect to lifestyle or clothing but is with respect to thinking without any prejudice. Lifestyle or clothing is moreover a matter of comfort…mental comfort.
Hi Parimal,
Thanks for your input.
Let me clarify your first query (what exactly the author means by “So to those who wish to “liberate” me” ?).
Many consider that a liberal woman or religion is one where she is allowed to wear skimpy clothes and flaunt herself. But there is no proof that it does her any favour, except maybe elevate her in the eyes of men. The writer here rejects such thoughts on liberty. She would rather be a slave of God than a ‘liberal’ woman for the men.
For your second part, let me clarify that the writer was raised in the West (in a “liberal” environment, as most would put it). And this article, is her expression of liberation in the ‘western’ sensibilities.
I wholeheartedly agree with your last paragraph (“True liberation is never with respect to lifestyle or clothing but is with respect to thinking without any prejudice”).
The question is, if that is the case, then why is a burqa clad women considered as a silent victim of suppression? Why can’t people accept that a muslim woman wears a burqa because she wants to ?
Hi,
As Prabhavati has pointed out, burkha gives a feeling that you want to remain indifferent with others. By this, she has suppressed herself and thus she will have to make the first move to interact with others. How can the other person know what the woman in burkha wants? Whether she wants to a friend or wants to be indifferent?
I don’t know about people but i myself don’t give much thought to it…its one’s choice what he/she wants to wear.
A liberal woman or religion is not just limited to choice of clothing. It is much more than that. Again…about the concept of slave of God..i just wonder why God will want a slave? That’s really worth giving a thought.
Honestly, here is what I feel.
I am a liberal Hindu, currently living in ‘West’ but have spent most of my life in India.
About Burqa :
1. Non-muslims may feel that muslim women are coerced into wearing burqa when they see reports like this
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/kashmir-women-face-threat-of-acid-attacks-from-militants-667520.html
2. Dressing modestly does not mean an uncomfortable, movement restricting burqa.
3. If you wear burqa to show me that you are holier, more faithful than non-burqa wearing me, then you are same as a woman who tries to show me with skimpy clothes etc that she is more attractive than me.
4. Most non-muslims feel uncomfortable or maybe threatened by someone wearing a burqa.
In ‘west’ or in the environment I was bought up in India ( east ? ) a person is judged by facial expressions. If I joke and can see a person smile I feel comfortable. if I can’t see any reaction, I would assume either that the person can’t understand what I am saying or worse, the person is hostile.
Or if I can’t see a persons face but just see some black thing, I don’t know whats under it ? A man, a gun ? So rather than seeing you as a servant of the creator, I may see you as a threat or as a dumb object.
5. I have interacted with burqa wearing women and it does take some time to get tone and body language to understand the person behind burqa.
About Liberation, liberals in the ‘west’ern culture :
1. I feel sorry if your culture taught you that exposing your body made you desirable.
I’d feel sorrier if your culture had taught you to be subservient and second grade person.
( As a Hindu, i know that my scriptures can be interpreted to assume that a woman is subservient or somewhat lesser than a man. Most religions have something similar. Most women in the ‘east’ are brought up that way. )
2. A liberal western(American) friend told me that she feel sorry for the letter-writer. and wonders if she only got skimpy dress wearing part from western culture, and that she did not get other liberties, which are taken for granted in the ‘west’, like liberty to study, vote, meet other people (not just other muslim women), be physically active as in be able to run, swim go to a gym.
3. If the letter writer feels liberated by wearing a burqa, she should also accept that people will feel negatively about her and not complain about discrimination. Just as she has liberty to dress as she will, other people have liberty to feel as they will.
Excellent perspective Tai.
I seriously hope Yasmin drops by here again to reply to you
Tai, I couldn’t help going through your comments today. Most of what you have expressed is more or less indicative of what non-muslims think about Islam and its ways. Unfortunately, I’m not knowledgeable enough to clear the fog and justify the letter. But I’ll make a feeble attempt nevertheless
(You KNEW that was coming, didn’t you ??) Anyhow, here goes :-
About Burqa
1) There is a difference between Religion and Society. Sometimes, we forget to differentiate between the two. Islam does not believe in coercing women into submission. But for many sections of the society, keeping women submissive is a way of life. Something similar to widows being deprived of their hair and worldly possessions in many parts of India. Or the way, many Rajasthani women are kept under long “ghoongats”, or the way, Haryanvi women are sold to the highest bidder in the name of marriage. But these instances are not reflective of Hinduism, are they? Similarly, what is happening in Kashmir, though sad, is NOT an indication of Islam. Or, the preachings of the Quran.
2) I agree with you. But unless you plan on competing in a 100m hurdle race, I don’t think Burqa is a hindrance
. Again, the women who choose to wear a burqa, do not express interest in activities which require extensive physical movements. The traditional burqa has many pleats and is quite roomy. Please don’t be mislead by the pseudo religious burqa worn these days, which could easily masquerade as a red-carpet gown. Its just a fashion trend to wear fitted burqas and I can see where your concern comes from 
.
3) Wearing a burqa does NOT mean that the wearer is more holier-than-thou. It simply means that the wearer is faithful and dedicated to her religion. The way a Christian woman wears a cross around her neck or a Hindu woman wears a Bindi or Pendants representing any God/Goddess. The expression of holiness is NOT for you. Its for her. To remind her of her duty towards God.
Tell me, do you think the same when you see a Sikh with a turban? Its also an expression of religion, isn’t it?
4) A very valid point. It is difficult to understand if a woman wearing a burqa is a threat or a dumb object (your words
), but then you are free to carry any notion you want. It does not affect the wearer, does it? There must be a reason why muslim women (opting for burqa) do not find a place in the corporate ladder. They may be good performers, but like you said, if you can’t see their expressions, you can’t understand them. Here the loss is totally theirs 
, not yours 
.
5) I have generally found that not all burqa wearing women wear the naqab (veil). And even if they do, most of them relieve themselves of the naqab in the presence of other women. A little surprising that some of them didn’t remove their naqab while interacting with you. Maybe there were men around. Who knows?!
About Liberation
1) A slight variation on the desirable part. In Islam, women are meant to be desirable. But not to the extent that they distract the men from their moral path. A woman does not need to hide behind the naqab from her father, brothers, husband and sons. But what she wears in their presence , should not be tiltillating (obviously!!) . The west has a different view on this. Its ok for a woman to walk around in skimpy wear in the presence of her parents. It is their idea of liberation. Muslims don’t entertain such liberty. Do Hindus do that??
2) When we talk of liberty, why is it associated with obligation? If a muslim woman has the freedom to vote, study, drive, walk around, does it mean that she should oblige the country/residents by following their dress code too? The writers angst is not towards people expecting herself to flaunt herself. Its more againt their opposition to her covering herself. Something similar to a Sikh being coerced into removing his turban. Should he do that, because he stays in a country that gives him his bread and butter??
3) Discrimination, at all levels is unacceptable. It would be so to you too, if you were discriminated against. To say that you should never raise your voice against it, you should accept it, because this is just how it is, doesn’t really seem right, does it?? If Mahatma Gandhi hadn’t raised his voice against the Britishers, would we have got our Independence?? He wasn’t even in India at that time!!! So why didn’t he just follow their rules??
Btw Tai, thanks to your input, I’ve spent some time in understanding my own religion. I may not have clarified many doubts, but I can only say one thing. Don’t confuse the religion with the people. The people who follow Islam, are from different cultures. Their understanding of the religion is limited. I can say that because I just found out that even I’m woefully ignorant. Anyhow, thanks once again. And keep dropping by with your comments. They are ALWAYS welcome.
Much love,
N.
Thanks for responding.
SO thanks for the chance.
After living among many different societies and circumstances, I have felt that nothing is ever Black and white. And generalisations confuse thinking.
But have never got a chance to pontificate
And here goes….
About Burqa.
1. Religion and societies modify and define each other. ( IMHO, religions are a mean of building societies, where people can live with each other peacefully and progress. Religions lay down rules which are based on condition of society, so that the condition of society improves. Once condition improves, new rules come up, get established, and both society and religion evolve. This has happened for Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity. I don’t know enough about Islam or Islamic societies to know if this is true for it or not. )
Also you say that coercion is not there in your interpretation of Islam/Quran, but it seems to be there in some others interpretation.
I agree with you that women are coerced/persuaded into behaviours in all societies, but it seems easier to resist, in some societies, specially western/liberal ones.
2. I found swimming in a Salwar Kurta difficult.( in my fathers village). I can extrapolate how difficult it would be in a burqa. But then I have never worn it so I should not comment.
3. A turban or a pendant does not obscure ones face, ones identity, neither is it as noticeable as a burqa, so to compare them is a bit of a stretch.
Yes I agree that if a person is wearing a religious symbol as a personal remainder and not as an ostentation, I should not be offended.
(Having said that, I met a Serbian in Vancouver who was offended/shocked that I wore a swastik pendant. Serbs were oppressed by Nazis. So you never know what will offend and what will not. And I wore it as remembrance and not as religious symbol
)
5. It was in University so she did not remove it. But when I visit my friends home, his wife and mother do not wear it around me. Personally speaking, I am not bothered by Burqa.
About Liberation.
1. Skimpy clothe definition based on society. In Mumbai you can see Koli women in short saris, in Calcutta, Orissa I have seen village women who don’t wear blouses. My American friend was offended by a girl baring her mid-riff in church. To say that ‘western’ society permits skimpy clothes and ‘eastern’ does not, is too broad a generalisation. Each society has its own norms and sensitivities. To condemn socities based on things which don’t fit in your norms seems naive or worse, unfair.
2. Liberties are Rights and Rights come with Duties and obligations. If you want to have a right to live in a society you are obliged to get along with people there. Any change is more effective if people are persuaded rather than coerced.
Why does the writer feel that she needs to wear a veil which people can find, offensive, alarming, threatening.
Can’t she forgo makeup, dress in loose modest clothes and fit in with the western society she lives in AND be reconciled with her creator ?
3. Discrimination is a fact of life. I can either accept it or fight it. If I want to fight it, I should be prepared to handle what comes with it. As a women you have responsibilities to your family, children and other people dependent on you. So pick your battles with care.
Thanks for considering my ramblings and not getting offended.
Love
Prabha Tai.
Hi Tai,
You’ve been giving all this a lot of thought
But frankly, like I confessed before, I am no expert on Islam. And neither is this medium vast enough to sit and dissect its preachings.
Most of the rules specified in the Quran are essentially timeless. They are not limited to a time period so that they can be changed at will. Moreover, the rules in the Quran are not set by man. Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) only dictated what was revealed to him by Allah. It is impossible for any , ANY human being to write the contents of the Quran by himself (read here for more info : http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Did_Muhammad_write_the_Quran)
We, as muslims do not have the authority to manipulate the religion to our whims.
I know many muslim women who do go swimming (I was one of them
) . The only difference may be that they prefer to visit places which have exclusive timings for women.
Many women also participate in sports and other cultural activities.
It is still a stigma, but muslims do try to bend a few rules to adjust to the society.
But just because the women (a few , not all)wear burkha in public, does not, in any way imply that they are subservient or oppressed.
And on discrimination, why is it that a Sikh girl fighting for her right to wear the kadha to a French school or a Sikh boy demanding to be allowed to wear his turban in America, get our full support. We applaud them when they win their court cases. We hail the freedom to express the religion, but when it comes to letting muslims wear their headscarf/burkha/veil, we suddenly feel that they should conform to the rules and regulations??
Discrimination happens at many levels. I have faced it. All members of my family have faced it at different times/circumstances. Even though I’m as Indian as the person next door. But this has not made us bitter. We have, in a way ,accepted it. Which is wrong. But there appears to be point in haggling about it. We just want to live peacefully, so that tomorrow, our children can believe that even they are a part of the society.
Oh dear, I did not mean to question your religion or beliefs. I am sorry if I have given that impression.
I hope the letter writer and you have sufficient faith, to give you strength to handle any discriminations which happen to you as a result of your beliefs.
My intention in responding to your post was to point out
1. That all societies have norms and beliefs and it is not fair to condemn societies if they do not fit within your norms and beliefs. And this goes for muslim and non-muslim societies.
2. In most societies seeing your face is important to understand you. A veil or Burqa obscures it and so is considered as a threat or stupidity.
Check this link http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2009/07/02/kristen_schaal/index.html
Hey Tai, I can NEVER be offended by you. I wrote that stuff around 1AM in the night and when i read it the next morning, believe me, even I found it stupid!!
So please ignore
Love ya
Please forgive me for scattered writing.. but thats how I am ….One moment I think something and very next something totally opposite to it….Whenever I speak in meetings, this is my first statement…My thoughts doesn’t flow like river in plain…in contrast they are like I am engaging in river rafting activities with sudden rapids
….
I would agree with the author on certain points.. in many cultures(including hinduism) a girl is taught from childhood to obey or abide by rules set by men in her life, never question it..just follow blindly.. in every ad, they would use a girl to sell it…like razors for men, their underwear etc…are women really needed for such ads? No, they are just being used as objects…
we have a society where fair skin color is everything and it is more important for girls.. and all these products are targeted for those are not fair (and as per them, something is horribly wrong with their skin)
i agree that all this is just state of mind…if she has detached herself from these motions, then this is good. If its with the help of Burqa, fine with me..as long as she is happy wearing one…
its true that most of us (non muslims) doesn’t understand the importance/significance of veil for muslim women…
News shows only those muslim women who are trying to fight against discrimination and almost all of them say against burqa. Its like what you see everyday, you start to believe it.
In many parts of India, married hindu women use saari pallu to cover their face in presence of strangers/ elder men. No religion/society is free from evil practices..like sati pratha in hindu religion
Like last year it happened in goa, women were beaten up in pubs and discos for socializing (includes drinks as well) with men. Those who were culprits justified there action by saying its against indian tradition and culture.
Like beating women as animal is a matter of pride in indian culture?
Its not with a particular religion but yes I agree Islam is one religion which gets all the wrong attention.
Believe me I am not against any religion, but in today’s world due to many extremists, people have many wrong notions about a muslims..
Again I am not saying that there are no hindu extremist group…but they are not in as much attention as one particular religion….
I am not saying that drinks or partying or wearing a skimpy clothes is a must for every women or it is a symbol of freedom for all women…
For me liberation of a soul is good education, to be able to enjoy equal rights without any fear, being able to make decisions about their own life (again this doesn’t mean parents/husbands/relatives can’t advise) but final decision should be left on the women, being able to wear any kind of clothes (modest to skimpy) but without being labeled as backward or a piece of meat(forgive me)..
Irrespective of the religion, women were/are being oppressed in some way or other. For few of us, things have changed, we live in a different circumstances than others, have more privileges and are blessed to be in safe home. Its time to acknowledge the differences in cultures and forego any assumptions. Every individual is different.. Burqa or no burqa, women should be treated with respect.
Please forgive me if my post offends anyone..but believe me, I never meant it..
Lots of love
Archana
Hi Archu,
Thanks for dropping by.
You’ve written exactly what I wanted to express, but in a much better way.
And I totally agree with this sentiment “Burqa or no burqa, women should be treated with respect”.
Looking forward to more such insights from you