Joke time

Another funny forward in my mailbox this morning :-

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A farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is you Dad home?” the rancher asked.

“No sir, he isn’t,” the boy replied. “He went into town.”

“Well,” said the rancher, “Is your Mother here?”

“No sir, she’s not here either. She went into town with Dad.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No sir, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” the boy asked politely. “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad.”

“Well,” said the rancher uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”

The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to Pa about that,” he finally conceded. “If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets for Howard.”

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A really,really tough task

A serving colonel in the army was found indulging in something unspeakable. I could have used the term here, but it would just invite some unwelcome visitors to this place. Do read the article to know what I’m talking about (if you haven’t already).

He has brought bad repute to the defense services, which are still combating accusations of corruption and fratricide. And now this. All this is quite bothersome.

But.

In all this rigmarole of his arrest and subsequent inquiry, I found something awfully hilarious. Something totally WTF, as Amit Varma would put it  . Sample this :-

“The Cyber Crime Cell of Mumbai Police is taking time to scan and examine the two 80 GB hard disks,one of which is full with videos while another has nearly 40 GB data on it……….”

“We are still examining the data stored on the computer and the figure may rise, Additional CP (Crime) Deven Bharti said”.

“Sources said the average size of the p*** clip on the Army officers computer was 200 MB,and it was a painstaking job of analysing each clip to check whether it contained child p****graphy”.

Now really, how painful was it?? How difficult is it to go through hundreds of MBs of P*** video clips ? Am sure other police departments would give an arm and a leg to be in the shoes of Cyber Crime Cell, Mumbai, right now.

Maybe ,a hypothetical conversation between ACP Deven Bharti and another investigating officer (IO) would occur like this :-

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ACP : So officer, do you have the count of the total children used in those videos.

IO : Err….not really sir. We’re still getting there.

ACP : Whats taking you so long?

IO : Ummm..its quite a painstaking task sir….we are not able to proceed beyond a few MBs per day.

ACP : Why so?

IO : Err…..you know sir, it can be very, errr…. tiring *wink wink*.

ACP : Oh!! er…ummm.I understand. And yeah, in case it gets too hectic, do drop a hard disk at my place. Let me see if I can help.

IO : You sure sir?

ACP : Of course!! After all, I’m supposed to face the media and give them the right ‘figures’.

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And that is why, instead of simply charging the colonel and dumping him into a deep dungeon, the Cyber Crime department is spending time on ‘counting’ the number of kids used in the videos. Isn’t the presence of just a few enough to incriminate him? What exactly is achieved by giving the exact number ??

My view is that these guys are thoroughly bored and this is their ONE chance to enjoy their work. No, seriously . Am sure each officer who is handed a few videos is as delighted as a teenager with a stolen DVD of p*** for his first viewing!!

I’m sure the Cyber Crime Cell Mumbai has the most diligent set of officers working on this case right now !! Good. At least they’ll be occupied for a few months. Willingly .

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