We have a fire drill in the office building next week.
Rather a harmless event, given that we are forewarned (unlike real instances where we need to act without prior intimation) and forearmed. In my company (the one I belong to, not the one where I sit) I used to be a fire-marshall, or the floor incharge. I even received fire-fighting training from the personnel belonging to the fire station nearest to our office. The training was much fun. I learned to differentiate between the A,B and C class of fire-extinguishers. Also learned how to use a water hose and how to change its flow. Much fun was had in the trainings.
(Uh. I think I went off-track there)
Coming back to the fire drill in this office. It is next week. So the security guards in the office were asked to carry out some preliminary rounds and talk to a few people regarding the same. On one such duty, this particular female security guard sidles up to my desk this morning. I look up at her enquiringly. This is how our conversation went :-
Me : Haan?
Female Security (FS) : Ek baat bolni thi aapse.
Me : Haan bolo.
FS : Agle week iss building mein fire drill hone wala hai.
Me : Haan, mujhe pata hai. Mail aaya tha.
FS : Madam, humko instructions mila hai ki office mein jitni bhi pregnant ladies hai, unka list banana hai.
Me : (remembering how we were trained to follow the same routine) Haan haan, sahi baat hai.
FS : Toh madam, aap pregnant hai na, issliye next week woh siren bajega to aap darna mat. Aapko pehle bahar nikalenge.
Me : *Stunned speechless*
FS : Madam?! Okay madam??
Me : (Finally able to breathe) Err…ummm…*ahem* *cough* Mai pregnant nahin hoon.
FS : OHHH !! Sorry madam….mujhe laga…… sorry madam.
(This is the cue for me to breakdown sobbing on my desk and for you to hold your tummy and guffaw out loud )
Me : Nahin nahin…koi baat nahin….
With gentle reassurances, the lady left my desk.
Needless to say peeps, am sorely upset today. I mean, my kids will turn three in a couple of month’s time…and here I am, still hanging on to my cesarean pouch as though my next kid lived in it
Ramzan went by and did nothing to give me a break! I still haven’t lost an ounce! Why O why does the fat love me so?! I’m so hopping mad today !! Haven’t mentioned the tale to the BF. Much ‘I-Told-You-So’s expected . You know, I’ve been trying real hard lately. I’ve changed my diet, have moderate meals , use the stairs and do as much physical work as possible. But looks like its all pittance in the vast ocean of adiposity (is that even a word?!).
Can anyone please burn away this fat for me……or at least turn that water-hose on me and wash it away?!
Pretty please ?