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Archive for October 23rd, 2009

Mehendi on the palms

If you are an Indian AND a woman, chances are, you would share the same sentiment that I have towards mehendi.

That ridiculously slimy, but heavenly smelling leaf which transforms the palms into a canvas. And me into an artist.

I love applying mehendi on hands. Any one’s. Give me a mehendi cone and an empty palm, and I’m transported into pure bliss for the nest few minutes 🙂 . I’m no great artist,but I do like some of these that I had applied :-

 

Mehendi for Bag's on her wedding

Mehendi for Bags on her wedding

 

Mehendi....no occasion. Just like that :)

Mehendi....no occasion. Just like that 🙂

I know so many girls who are awfully talented, applying a handful of design within minutes. I’m not so lucky. The wedding mehendi you see up there, well that took me near about , the WHOLE day!!! I performed a little better when I did her feet the next morning :-

Mehendi on the feet

Mehendi on the feet

 

What helped ,was the fact that bags was ultra tired of sitting in one place and begged me to limit the design to just the feet (the design is usually extended till mid-calves).

Since it was the first (and LAST) time that I had applied a ‘wedding mehendi’, I’m proud of my efforts. I really couldn’t get myself to repeat the feat. Good friends, BFS and BFC insist that I should apply the mehendi on their wedding. But I really dont want to ruin their special day 🙂 . They deserve someone better!!

Having kids sure has restrained me from pursuing my hobbies. I know I love my kids with all my heart. But there are times when I really miss these small things I did….sometimes, just for myself. That special “Me” time……!

All I can do now , is eagerly wait and see if RS shows the least bit of interest in applying mehendi. If not, no issues. I’ll just practise and get the right design for her wedding. I have plenty of time to perfect that 🙂

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A duck and a rolling ball…..

….are what RS and SS look like these days.

RS waddles like a duck on land, walking with feet spread out and tummy thrust outwards. Thats her idea of balance!!

SS doesnt walk anymore. He’s too busy dashing around the house with surprising speed!  He can also move in any direction. You really cant predict his next step. He’s comfortable walking  forward, sideways as well as reverse. A normal walk session would be as follows :- two steps forward, sharp left turn, 5 steps forward, 3 steps reverse, 2 steps to the right, 2 steps forward, 3 steps reverse, 10 steps forward…you get the drift 🙂

SS started walking a full month before RS, and is a veteran in this field. He still lands hard on his butt, but is quick to scramble up and run again.

I guess the most positive outcome of this development is that I’ve become a little more physically active. Running around the house after the twins is not an easy task. If I lose some weight, its thanks to these two.

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Is it funny if someone tells a 4-year-old that his/her younger sibling will get more love since he/she is fairer?

Would you find it funny? Is it humour?

One doesnt need a Masters in Psychology to know what such a statement does to a child’s innocence. As if the insecurity of a new baby in the family is not enough, playing on the child’s psyche because of his/her skin colour amounts to nothing but cruelty.

And I’m ashamed that I kept quite when such a statement was uttered in my presence.

I cannot justify my silence. At that time, I just couldnt think of anything to say. Maybe because I was too shocked. Or maybe I was busy recollecting all those instances when such things were said to me.

Both my sisters are much fairer than me. I look more like my brother, we both are pretty dusky.My parents never even hinted at the difference.All of us were treated so equally, that I never realized that I was different. Until others started pointing it out. I remember this one instance, when an officer had come visiting with his wife. One of my sisters had opened the door for them. They were quite charmed by her fair looks and pretty green eyes. Shortly, Dad called out to me to come and meet them. What do you think was the first thing that lady said as soon as she saw me? “Hum kaale hain to kya hua, dilwale hain (what if we are dark, we are generous). Thank God my Dad didnt hear it. He would have been immensely hurt (Dad, if you are reading this now, and feel bad, dont. Because it doesnt hurt me.Now.)

In a country where Fair and Lovely sells more than education, being dark is a taboo. Which is a pity. Because some of the prettiest faces I’ve known , are dark. The educated lot is no better. A colleague once mentioned that during his entire stay in South India (for work), he craved to see a fair woman. Though I like and respect him, this one statement was enough to annoy me for the rest of the day. Did he even open his eyes and look ? There is immense beauty in skin tones which vary from caramel to coffee .

Am ranting here, because I have two kids. One fairer than the other. But not fairer than other kids in the family.For me, both are the same. I love them both equally, irrespective of their colour. But I have no control on what others tell them. I cant prevent anyone from seeding the fear/insecurity of being dark.

How do I protect them? How do I explain that its ok to be dark? Even though I had a loving family, I suffered my own anxiousness and insecurities. How do I prevent my kids from facing the same fate? How?

I guess I’m asking the wrong question here. My concern is, WHY are we obsessed with fair skin? Are fair people better human beings? More blessed by God? More intelligent? More lucky??

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