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Archive for December, 2009

Sincere apologies to those who dropped by here and didn’t find anything new.
Lots of things are happening at the work + home front.
And I’m just not getting the time to post about it. Am more miserable about this than anyone of you.

Anyhow, the SIL has come visiting with her two lovely boys, we have cubicle decoration in office today, and my cubicle now looks like ….ummm….actually, I’ll disclose that IF we win anything (please please pray hard for us!!!). Will promise to post the pics too (when I get hold of them!!).

Gotta get back to work now (haven’t put in five cent’s worth of work since morning 😦 ).

Ciao.
N.

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RS and SS at McDs

I’ve finally got hold of the snaps of RS and SS’ first outing (if you may call it that!)

We had been to McD’s a couple of weekends back, to celebrate BFC’s venture into matrimony. The twins, surprisingly, were on their best behaviour. RS, the more frisky of the two, had to be held down on the high-chair.

Earlier, I used to feel guilty that I don’t take the kids out much. With H1N1 doing the rounds (and Pune being its CAPITAL) , I didn’t really feel like taking them out to public places. In a way, it turned out to be a good decision. You see, when the kids do get to go out, they are so awe-struck by the different sights/sounds/smells that they are practically spellbound ( remember the trip to the barber?). That results in having a pair of babies, who are as silent as the night , who couldn’t care less whether you feed them or not,as long as they get to absorb all that is happening around them. Easy to handle . Thankfully 🙂

Anyhow, we made a trip to BFC’s place so that her parents could meet the twins.

SS, busy with the plastic basket he dragged from the balcony

RS, refusing to look at the camera !!

After that, we all bundled into our car off we went…all the while trying to decide where exactly we could go with two babies. CCD was the earlier choice, but we ruled that out. For obvious reasons!

BFC suggested McD and we were like, why not?? Seems the ideal place to carry one-year-olds to. There would be many more kids there, making much more noise than these two. It was pretty cold in there, with the AC set to its lowest I guess. And though we requested, there wasn’t much they could do about it. They did agree to turn down the volume of the stereo playing Gold-Help-Me-Its-HIM(ess) songs.

Anyhow, we had to pull out the monkey caps ,which the twins detest on sight (who wouldn’t ) . But we are parents. We know best, right?

"I don't agree with what you say"!!

Gazing longingly at the burgers and coke!!

The kids were on real good beahviour. Am really proud of them. This one outing has been a  success as of now.

Looking ahead, together, for once!!

Just in case you are wondering, the slender arm and pretty smile don’t belong to me. Its BFC. You can see, she’s pretty radiant these days 😀 .

We didn’t do the typical thing and get the twins to pose with Ronald McD. They didn’t really take a fancy to him. And the last thing I wanted was two whimpering babies to console.

Overall, it was a great evening. Had much fun. Details were posted earlier, over here.

I’m more confident of taking them out now. Am sure the kids LOVE such outings 🙂

PS: If only we didn’t have this H1N1 scare looming over us, it’d be a much relaxed outing. One can’t help but keep looking over the shoulder to figure out if anyone out there has a cold/cough. Puts off the mood, I say.

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I received this mail a few days back.

Please read it through at least once.

And then, please let me know what YOU think of it.

Being a muslim woman myself, I have a fair idea of what any other muslim woman would say about it.

But I want YOUR point of view. If you are a non-muslim reading this (even if you are reading it months after I’ve posted this article) then please give me your opinion of the text below. You might think of being politically correct, but that is not what I want. I want your complete honesty. If you choose to be anonymous, so be it.

Take a few seconds and think of what exactly comes to your mind after reading this .

————————————-

A Letter to the West

By Yasmin Mogahed

July 3, 2005

Growing up, you read me the Ugly Duckling. And for years I believed that was
me. I am a woman-that ugly duckling among men. For so long you taught me I
was nothing more than a bad copy of the standard.

I couldn’t run as fast or lift as much. I didn’t make the same money and I
cried too often. I grew up in a man’s world where I didn’t belong.

And when I couldn’t be him, I wanted only to please him. I put on your
makeup and wore your short skirts. I gave my life, my body, my dignity, for
the cause of being pretty. I knew that no matter what I did, I was worthy
only to the degree that I could please and be beautiful for my master.
And so I spent my life on the cover of Cosmo and gave my body for you to sell.

I was a slave, but you taught me I was free. I was your object, but you
swore it was success. You taught me that my purpose in life was to be on
display, to attract and be beautiful for men. You had me believe that my
body was created to market your cars. And you raised me to think I was an ugly duckling.

But you lied.

Islam tells me I’m a swan. I’m different-it’s meant to be that way. And my
body, my soul, were created for something more.

God says in the Qur’an: “O mankind, We created you from a single (pair) of a
male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know
one another (not that you may despise each other).
Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of God is the one who is most righteous”
(Al-Hujurat 49:13).

So I am honored. But it is not by my relationship to men. My value as a
woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like
me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness
and piety. And my purpose in life-despite what the fashion
magazines say-is something more sublime than just looking good for men.

And so God tells me to cover myself, to hide my beauty, and to tell the
world that I’m not here to please men with my body; I’m here to please God.
God elevates the dignity of a woman’s body by commanding that it be
respected and covered, shown only to the deserving-only to the man I marry.

So to those who wish to “liberate” me, I have only one thing to say:

Thanks, but no thanks.

I’m not here to be on display.
And my body is not for public consumption.
I will not be reduced to an object or a pair of legs to sell shoes.
I’m a soul, a mind, a servant of God.
My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character.
So I won’t worship your beauty standards, and I don’t submit to your fashion sense.

My submission is to something higher.With my veil I put my faith on display-rather than my beauty.
My value as a human is defined by my relationship with God, not by my looks. So I cover the irrelevant.
And when you look at me, you don’t see a body. You view me only for what I am: a servant of my Creator.

So you see, as a Muslim woman, I’ve been liberated from a silent kind of
bondage. I don’t answer to the slaves of God on earth.I answer to their King.

—————————————————-

As an after thought, I realized, that the religion here is incidental. The focus of the mail is on women and our dependency on men to realize our self-worth.

I can see the same sentiments being expressed by a Sadhvi who has embraced Diksha, or any Nun spending her life in the service of God.

Only difference here is that Islam does not believe in women giving up their desires in the name of God. So we don’t believe in celibacy. It goes against the human nature. A muslim woman is free to marry, have children and have a normal life. It does not affect her relationship with God.

Anyhow, there must be a zillion thoughts rushing through your mind right now. Some may agree with the above text, some may not.

In either case, I would seriously like to know what actually irritates you or which part of the text you seemingly agree with.

I’d like to repeat once more, please be honest with your reply. We cheat no one , but ourselves with our words.

And I’m seriously looking forward to hearing your opinions. Maybe it’ll help me understand myself better. Or maybe it won’t 🙂

Who knows 😀 ?!!

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A Common Scold

Bet you thought I made a typo there, didn’t ya? 🙂

Anyhow, I came across this term for the first time while reading the book “Why Men Lie and Women Cry” by Allan & Barbara Pease.

And here is what I found out :-

A common scold is a woman who is accused of offending her husband by being a ‘nag’.

Yeah, you heard that right. It was a punishable offence to be a nag in the late 19th century.

So any woman who was opinionated, vocal and feminist, was branded a common scold and was punished.

How??

By dunking her repeatedly in a river or lake.

Funny??

Not really. If you go by the methods implemented for this punishment.

The "ducking chair"

The woman in question was strapped to a chair and the chair was then lowered into a river or pond till submerged. The duration of being submerged depended on the severity of the allegation. Apparently, witches and prostitutes were submerged for longer periods than regular housewives. The punishment could last from a few hours to the whole day.

And if the woman still continued to be a common scold, she was paraded in the town/village, with a metal mask (called “the branks” )on her face, with a rod inside it which was forced into the culprit’s mouth to hold the tongue down.

Whew!!

All this for just reminding the man-of-the-house to take out the trash!!!

Coming to the present, I nag the BF ALL the time.  Right from the time he gets up to the time he goes to sleep. I just don’t nag him about picking up his wet-towel-on-the-bed routine, I bicker about his diet, lack of exercise, extra working hours, etc, etc.

Believe me, If I was in the 19th century, by now,  I would’ve been dunked to death.

Not funny at all 😦

On second thoughts, I really shouldn’t have written this post.

What if the BF reads it?!!

SHUDDER!!!!

Naah, I kid. This time 🙂

Edited to add :

You can read up more on the common scold and dunking chair here .

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A year back : 27Dec08

I had this mail sitting in the drafts and I completely forgot about it. Just fished it out to post.

On 27th Dec 2008, we celebrated the twin’s naming ceremony. My family was here in Pune, with Dad rushing around with the preparations (He had come to Pune just a couple of days before). Bro was busy assisting him. Bhabhi and cousin Lubna were busy with the decorations, Mom was busy with the babies. And I was busy…umm.. not really, but yeah, I was busy relaxing in the midst of all this mayhem 😀

There was an unfortunate incident in the BF’s family because of which most of his relatives could not come. But the SIL and her family made it to the event (Thank God).

There were loads of people from our side….family friends, friends of my grand parents from mother’s side….. BFC,BFS and BFG…and many more.

I don’t have a snap right now, of the swing that was readied for the twins. Will post it as soon as I get hold its soft copy. But I have to say, Bhabhi and Lubna had done a splendid job!!

Aapa had lent us the satin baby bed for the day, which totally added to the look.

Here I am, towards the fag-end of the evening, grinning like an loon, displaying my trophies :-

My two babies and Me

The pic is a little hazy, because dad took it with his cellphone camera (the only camera he’s comfortable handling!!)

SS is as usual, busy sleeping, and RS, as usual, is busy absorbing whats going on around her (This girl is far too observant for her own good ).

When I look at this pic, at me comfortably holding BOTH of them in my arms, I marvel at the time passed. At how far we have come. I can barely hold RS fo more than 15-20 minutes at a stretch now (mA). There was a point in those days when I used to fret over them like a manic. They were way too thin, too under weight (being preemies). But Alhamdulillah, they are doing good now.

One year down the line, and I can look back proudly. To see that in spite of our many short comings, me and the BF did the best we could.  And that we have succeeded to a certain limit.

There is much more to come ahead. Many heart aches, rebellions, reprimands and what not. Am not sure if I’m ready for it all…

But then, I wasn’t really prepared for the twins either. Or was I ? 😀

I haven’t  done so bad till now, have I ?

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A Secret Bond….

The woman looks down at the boy in her lap. Sleepy, irritable, the boy whines in short spurts. She tries to make him sleep, rocking him gently. The girl watches from a distance and comes and sits close to the woman. She looks down at the boy, gazing at him intently. The woman can’t decipher the look. It is frank, direct, yet, carries something she can’t really name. The girl extends a chubby hand and starts patting the boy’s tummy, the way the woman was doing a while back. The girl hums a small song, maybe she knows what she is singing. The boy looks up at the girl. He gives her a knowing look, as if understanding her song.  The girl bows low and plants her lips on the boy’s face. The boy smiles. She does this again a couple of times.

The woman looks on, her heart filled with love and envy. To see a love shared so unconditionally. To see a love , not asked for, but given. To see a love so pure and a bond so strong.

The man, watching from a distance, smiles to himself. He gives the woman a rueful glance and sits down next to the girl. He extends his neck and asks the girl for a kiss. She turns up her nose at him walks away, annoyed at being disturbed so.

The woman laughs deeply.

“Its their secret bond. We aren’t a part of it yet, are we? ”

“No, we aren’t”, he replies wistfully. “Not yet”.

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Conversations…..

 

On chat, with BF :-

=============

me: salaam. how are you? missing me??

BF: Well….Should I?

me: shouldn’t you? No, don’t bother to answer that…

I know your mind is pre-occupied with xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Aaah!! I’ll just carry on working like the donkey that I am!!

(after a while…) Hello!!!! u there?? At least bother to disagree with my statement!!

BF : 🙂 Disagreed

me: uff!!! why do I even waste my time on you!!!

BF : Arre!! whats wrong? U asked to disagree,I did.If u want me to agree I will

me: oh God!!

====================================================

While passing by a park where the BF used to play with his friends when he was a kid :-

==============

(mentally thinking of writing a post on the BF’s childhood)

me : Hey, it’s that park right? Lets go there?

BF : You want to?

me : yeah sure, that is, if you don’t mind and have the time.

BF : (turning the car around) Sure, why not! It’ll give you some more content for your blog. 🙂

me : 😐

=====================================================

On me showing off my new dress :-

==================

me : So, how do I look.

BF : ( looking intently) Whose is it??

me : WTH…..??? (full of sarcasm) Padosi ka hai!!

BF : (grinning) Hmm….no wonder its such an ill-fit!!

me : 😦

=====================================================

While talking with friends :-

==================

BFS : You know, N, you do look like a momma now. It shows in your face. But the BF still looks young.

BF : (all pleased ) BFC, I’ve been trying to tell this to her for ages, she just wouldn’t listen!!

me : Yeah, so I look old!! By the way BFS, if the BF was to give birth to twins with his tummy walking a foot ahead of him, I’m sure he would look like me too.

BFS : (mischievously) Naah. I don’t think so.

BF : (Fist pumping!!) I knew it!!

me : 😦

=====================================================

Discussing BFC’s fiance :-

=================

me : He’s rather serious. Next time ask him to send a snap where he’s smiling.

BFC : He’s not all that serious in real.

me : (looking sideways at the BF) he’s rather cute, I must say.

BF : (pretending to be heart-broken) You know girls, I’ve been waiting for the last 10 years for you all to say that about me!! And now my wife goes and says it about a guy she hasn’t even seen!!!

BFC, BFC, BFG : (Silence)….

BF : See, you all still wont say it!!!

me : 😀

===================================================

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