Archive for February, 2010

My entry for Indusladies

I’ve been T-A-G-G-E-D.

Yup. Finally!! (*Fist pumping the air!! *  😀 )

G was kind enough to tag me for the Indusladies International Women’s Day contest.

Since this is my FIRST tag, I’m obviously over-excited and am right now hyper ventilating on the topic for my post. We have a choice of 10 subjects relevant to today’s women and am at a TOTAL LOSS as to which should be my favoured one.

You see, I have strong and serious views on each and every topic listed. They all concern me at various levels.

Loads of people have entered some really thought-provoking posts (you can check out their links in the comments section of the Indusladies’ post for the contest) and I feel that what I have to say is very meagre, very trivial, compared to them.

Anyhow, putting on my “Feminist Cap” ,I selected “Workplace inequality” for my post. But then, discarded the cap as well as the topic since I personally haven’t experienced inequality in enough measure to warrant an 800 word post.

Then I thought of “Financial Freedom”, but then, G made a much better job of it and I had to discard that post too (btw, I had got through 790 words of it!! Will post it some other time).

And now, I have decided on something more personal, more closer to each woman than anything else in this world.

Ladies and gentlemen, here goes my entry (*drumroll……..*)


Hygiene & Healthcare

A big Hello to all women reading this post. I want your honest answers to some questions that I have.  These are extremely personal and some might not apply to you, but anyhow, please tell me, 

– How many of you, as girls, have had regular visits to the gynaec after your first period?

– How many of you report missing periods to your gynaec/mothers/sisters?

– How many of you drink milk or take calcium supplements everyday?

– How many of you eat a healthy breakfast every morning?

– How many of you are aware of PCOS, Cervical cancer, menopause?

– How many of you insist on your partner taking a wash before and after intercourse?

– How many of you are aware of the consequences of Cesarean section ?

– How many of you know how to perform a Self-Breast examination?

– How many of you are aware of the different contraceptives available and their side-effects?

– How many of you are aware of the hormones that classify you a ‘Woman’ ?

– How many of you have a normal BMI? How many know what a BMI is??

– How many of you take out time to exercise regularly?

– How many of you are aware of each and every mark, curve and plain of your body?

Of the women reading this, I know a majority will have an answer to the above mentioned queries. But if I had to make a list of women who are absolutely unaware of the above, I would need a counting device.

I don’t mean the uneducated women who work as maids in our houses. I talk of well educated women, working women, mothers, wives and many others who have never even heard of half the points mentioned.

Reason, I guess, is part ignorance, and part negligence. The ignorance stems from lack of interest. The negligence, from the total disregard towards one’s own body. Like the time when we were young girls, newly undergoing the trauma of facing the dreaded periods. Weren’t missed periods like a boon? Didn’t we feel secretly relieved of not going through the burden for a change? Did we ever stop to wonder that it could be a sign of possible complications later?

We didn’t.

Just like many grown up women like me rush to work every morning, not bothering to have a proper breakfast or drink a glass of milk. We have heard of cases of osteoporosis. We dread it. Yet, we do NOTHING to prevent it.

Many young and old women suffer from various infections of the uterus. Ranging from Urinary Tract infection to Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Only when the discomfort becomes too much to bear, we bother to visit a gynaec and get the situation assessed.

What do we wait for?? Would we delay so much if any other loved one suffered any illness?? Then why delay for oneself?

Why the sense of shame related to our own body?? Why do we take our system for granted?

For many women, the concept of hygiene is limited to visits to the parlour. A facial or pedicure/manicure , though feel good, do not give you good health, or hygiene. They just give you a sense of momentary relaxation. Threading eyebrows comes nowhere close to being hygienic, unless your brows threaten to become hosts to lice. Then, maybe 🙂 .

Jokes apart, the truth is, we place ourselves way down in the list of priorities. For us, any treatment can wait. NOTHING is severe enough to warrant immediate attention and action!!

Sad, isn’t it?

So we see our mothers and grandmothers suffering from cervical cancer, breast cancer, osteoporosis, menopause and many other ailments and we keep wondering, what if, they had taken care of themselves! What if they had addressed the issue earlier? What if …?

And then, we ourselves do the same thing all over again.

We ignore our health while taking care of family.

We ignore our health because we are too busy handling jobs and motherhood.

We ignore our hygiene because we don’t want our partners to feel bad.

We ignore ourselves because we are too embarrassed to face a doctor (What about the time when you are lying bare on an operation table at the time of delivery?? But then, our thoughts are more for the baby than for ourselves, so the shame dissolves into nothingness!! Yet again, proof that others take priority over ourselves).

Isn’t it time we re-arranged our priorities and made some time for ourselves? Our good health will guarantee that our families stay healthy too. Our hygiene will guarantee that we and our partners are infection free. Isn’t that worth the effort?

We may not be a Cleopatra or a Garbo, but we are and will be the most beautiful woman in our children’s eye. The most seductive , in our partner’s.

Isn’t it time we kept up that image?


I pass on this tag to Srividya, Sheets and Shweta.

Sorry for the delay guys. Do take this up if you have the time 🙂

The rules and conditions are available here.

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I’m still around

Hi all.

Things have been silent on the blog front for quite some time now.

Reason being,

– The twin’s maid is on indefinite leave.

– Project release deadline looming ahead.

– Twins still down with cough.

– Search for alternate maid in full swing.

– Am just tired of it all 😦

No, I didn’t mean tired of the blog…just that at the end of the day, no time/patience/energy/stamina to sit down and type a few words.

Also, my inbox isn’t really flooding with the guest-posts, is it??

The last time I begged, pleaded, mailed, threatened, bribed and reminded all friends and family to send in their entries.

This time, I did nothing.


So I got NOTHING in return.

So much for my 201st post!!!

Anyhow, am busy with something else right now…get back to ya’ll after some time.

Cheers till then.

And also, A very Happy Monday….. (for all those down with the blues like me 🙂 )

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Outrage is too mild a word to express what I felt after seeing this.

Apparently, it is such a common method of  ‘extracting confessions’ that the police ‘officer'(?) himself doesn’t think he did any wrong!! No wonder he was comfortable enough to perform his actions in the presence of a journalist with a camera.

How Naive.

Or Stupid.

Or Barbaric.

Obviously, the suspended officer would be called back. And this matter would die a silent death.

The woman, if I may guess, will not file any charges against the policemen.

A case of “समुन्दर मे रहकर मगरमच्छ से बैर”, I think.


Edited to Add :-

On a different note, please consider the statement , “A freelance journalist, who claims he was not in a position to prevent the incident, caught it on camera”.

I guess this stems from being answerable for not initiating an objection. Maybe this statement comes from prior experience of facing the public flak, like in the case of Mangalore pub attacks (where the camera men were too busy capturing the action to do the right thing and prevent women from being beaten up by goons) or the case where a cameraman was specifically called by a woman and her relatives to beat up the woman’s husband’s alleged ‘mistress’.

The channel is absolved of all social responsibilities because their camera men ‘were not in a position to prevent the incident’.


Because, if they were, then they wouldn’t have the ‘incident’ to report, would they??

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When I too was wooed……..!!
Not that I’d have liked to be.
At least, not in that way and definitely not by that person!!

Being wooed

This snap was taken during post graduation days.

We used to celebrate Onam in college. Some Keralite seniors and their friends used to make an excellent pookulam in college premises . The pookulam was made of flowers, and the seniors were very particular about using only flower petals. Specifically, the coloured part. The tiny white stems of each petal were discarded. This meant , that we spent laborious hours snipping away at each gainda phool with scissors.

Fun time indeed 🙂

This particular snap was taken somewhere around 2 AM in the night. Some well meaning soul had bothered to bring a camera to capture all the ‘action’ of the night .

Anyhow, that’s me in red-black-white suit. And that guy offering me the flower, was one of the most evaded guys of the college. I remember getting highly annoyed after this act of his. He was the trying-too-hard-to-be-popular kind of person. Unfortuantely, I was the ONLY girl who ever spoke to him (I can’t be mean 😦 ), so he diverted his *ahem* attention towards me.

Those were dark days 😦

Looking back, I can’t help but smile fondly at the naiveté of it all.

C’mon, it was college, it was 2AM in the night. We were all tired after all the snipping. Can’t really  blame a guy for trying to add some spice to his life at such times 😀 .

And it was good to know that a guy,  other than the BF had bothered to divert his attention my way 😀

Ahhh…..what fun!!!

By the way, the BF wasn’t very impressed with the pic. He said that the guy-with-the-phool was just posing for the pic.

Ummm…could be.

Or it also could be that the BF is jealous!!

After all, giving me flowers is HIS one act of love!!

Anyhow, all that hard work with the snipping resulted in this the next morning :-

Poolkulam in college

Isn’t it lovely?!!

PS : Sorry about the image size. Had to search real hard for this pic. Finally found it on one of my classmate’s Orkut profile :D.

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Being a mom is tough. Awfully tough.

The minute you become a mom, it gives everyone the right to be judgmental of you. Starting from your own parents to hubby, to siblings to in-laws, to friends to EVERYONE.

The minute you become a mom, apparently, you lose every vestige of common sense and have every possible person advising you on whats best for the baby. “If we didn’t let you know, you’d have NO idea what to do. You MORON!!!”, they mock.

The minute you become a mom, you become a victim of a zillion reprimands. You HAVE to do certain things in a certain way, you HAVE to eat certain things, or else!! You HAVE to…..whatever!!

Now, if I was a shy demure bride who gave birth at the tender age of 18-20, then the above behavior towards me would be kind of , you know, justified.

But I’m not the above. I’m a 30 year old professional who has stayed by herself for quite some time to be somewhat knowledgeable about the world.

It does get my goat when I’m not sure how exactly I’m supposed to do something when contradicting opinions come my way.

Sometimes, I come across some really interesting situations .

Sample this :-


– On feeding babies.

GMIL : Children should be fed on exact timings.Never delay their meal times.

Me : Yes dadi.

(Me diligently cooking the kid’s dinner and then proceed to feed them, this, right after I’ve rushed back from office and just had the time to change clothes).

GMIL :You’re giving them dinner??

Me : Yes dadi.

GMIL : It’s only 8:30.

Me : Yeah, that’s their regular dinner time.

GMIL : But they had milk late this evening. Don’t feed them now. Feed them around 9.

Me :  😐


– On toilet training

Me : Isn’t it time we started taking the kids to the loo…just to let them get the hang of it?

MIL : It’s too early. They are just a year old.

GMIL : They are just babies. Toilet training starts after they are a year and a half.

Me : Ok. If you say so.

(The next weekend, I’m at home, busy in the kitchen. Hear voices and RS’s loud yelling. Rush out to see that the GMIL is firmly holding RS in the loo and asking her to pee)

Me : Oh!!! So toilet training begins??

GMIL : Of course!! How do you think I trained your husband? You should start training early or they’ll never learn!

Me :  😐


– On cuts and bruises

(SS runs around wildly, topples over and bumps his head. I go rushing to pick him up)

MIL : You shouldn’t be so fussy about the kids.

BIL : Yes bhabhi. You must not pay attention when they fall like this. They only cry temporarily. Then they’ll get on with their playing.

Me : It’s not easy , you know. Trying to stay aloof when you see your baby crying!!

MIL : True, but they are going to have a zillion more falls like this and you can’t be running over to soothe them each time. Let them get into the habit of tolerating a little bit of pain.

Me : Ok, I’ll try.

(A week later, the twins are playing around in the house, when SS, once again falls headlong and bumps his head. I control my impulses and stay put. Willing myself not to run over and cuddle him).

FIL : The child fell, for God’s sake, aren’t you even gonna rub his head??

ME : Wha..??

FIL : You shouldn’t be so careless about babies. What if it was a major bump? What if it resulted in a blood clot?? I have a friend whose daughter was playing…………………….got hurt……………mother careless…………(and on and on and on).

Me :  😐


– On crying babies

(RS sucking on her empty milk bottle. The BF pulls the bottle away. RS howls in anger. I rush to console her)

BF : Let her cry. Don’t give in to these tactics. She’ll cry for some time and then forget about it.

Me : But she’s yelling her heart out.

BF : For a few minutes. Then she’ll give up. Gotta teach them that crying will not achieve anything.

Me : Okay…if you say so.

(A few days later, SS is crying because I yanked the gas lighter from his hands. SS, as expected yells like a banshee).

GMIL : What happened?? Why are you making him cry??

ME : Am NOT making him cry. I just took the lighter away from him.

GMIL : You shouldn’t let children cry like this. It isn’t good for their heart. Give it back to him.

Me : Wha…?? 😐


– Parent’s comments

(The twins are extremely active babies and don’t tire of running around the house whole day. They are both on the leaner side, though RS is a little chubbier than SS).

Dad : I hope you are making time for the kids. Career is not everything, you know.

Me : Of course Dad. They are both doing pretty well and are pretty active.

Dad : But they don’t look healthy.

Me : Thats just because right now they are both down with cold n’ cough. Not to mention fever.

Dad : Still, I don’t like it. If your kids are not keeping well, you should think about your priorities.

Me : For God’s sake dad, it’s just a cold.

Dad : Just letting you know. We don’t want the twins to come to any harm because you can’t leave your job.

Me : Huh?!!! 😐


Tell me now, what is it exactly about being a mother that EVERYONE loses confidence in your abilities??

Nothing you do is ever right. Nothing you do is ever complete. Nothing you do convinces others that you are indeed doing your best.

My In-Laws are very loving people. And supportive . Everyone chips in some time with the kids everyday. I have never felt the burden of bringing up twins till now. It has been smooth sailing.

But even the most loving people can choke you with their love and concern. Maybe that’s what is happening here. Everyone in my house wants the best for the kids. But I can’t help it if half the time they end up contradicting themselves and confusing me in the bargain.

And I end up losing EVERYTIME!!!


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My Predicament, Exactly!!

A Mother's dilemma

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….. When I don’t know whether its winter or summer!!

….. When I have a Bad Hair Day, EVERYDAY. Sliding a comb through the hair results in all the hair clinging to the comb as if it is their savior. Either that, or the hair fly about in the air, refusing to settle down and be tied! Hair setting gels or oils only worsen the problem.

…… When I need to wear gloves to prevent myself (and others) from dying of static electricity. Touch me, and you’ll go “ZZZAPPP“!!! Electrifying!! If I touch metal, I go zzzappp. If I touch plastic, I go zzzappp. I look like a startled rabbit everytime I hop about after the zzzappp.

…… When me and the BF have a fight for the fan EVERY night. He doesn’t want it, I can’t sleep without it!!

…… When MIL’s busy examination schedule coincides with my project release. EVERY TIME!! So we rush through homely duties, rush through traffic, rush through work and then rush back home.

…… When I burst out in a zillion pimples. Age irrespective. And those who said Acne is the bane of teenage years were so wrong. If they want to see a nearing-middle-age woman sporting pimples, send them to me.

…… When I forego the moisturizers thinking its summer and then the  skin cracks and itches like hell.

…… When my feet are not worthy of being on display. Add my hands to that list.

…… When I pine to go home to parents. Plus,  Bangalore weather is at its best this time of the year!

…… When I become whiney and rant-y like this.

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