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Archive for March 12th, 2010

Before you jump the gun, let me disappoint you by stating before hand, that the thief hasn’t been caught. Yet. And there is a major possibility that he wont ever be.

But that is besides the point.

The real reason for this post is that the GMIL has become a minor celebrity in our neighbourhood.

It is the first time that anyone has heard of the victim getting the better of the perpetrator. So much so that we had the local cops from the area Police Station dropping by last night, to talk to her personally.

They came in around 10:45 last night and as I was grumbling about cops not having the decency to come earlier, the FIL quipped that we were lucky that the cops bothered to drop by in the first place.

Whew.

(That was one loooong sentence.)

Anyhow, they took the first hand account from GMIL and she was visibly glowing after getting such sincere compliments on her bravery and presence of mind. Well deserved indeed.

The cops left by 11:30 by which time I was ready to drop dead. Literally.

By the way, there have been many other minor thefts around our building, but none of them were reported before. Stuff like clothes, shoes, etc were stolen . Who reports such thefts anyway?

Though the cops have reassured that they will do their best to apprehend the thief, we aren’t much convinced. It wouldn’t serve much purpose anyway.

Our granny has already managed to grab her chain back 🙂

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How it all got planned

Scene : [ RS and SS have been tucked into bed after their morning bath. The GMIL leaves the two sleeping babies and closes the door.

Pause of 5 minutes.

RS peeps out from her blanket and makes sure there is no one within hearing distance. Satisfied with the seclusion, she crawls stealthily towards SS ].

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RS : Psst. Brother!! Psssttttt.

SS : Wha..?

RS : Get up. We have to talk.

SS : (yawning) Now?? Can’t we talk after I’ve had my nap?

RS : Shush!! Lazybones!! You’ll overtake Kunbhakarn if you continue sleeping like this. Wake up now. I have important things to discuss.

SS : (grumbling not-so-polite stuff about bossy sisters) I hate you for this.

RS : As if I care?! Listen up brother, now is the only time we can talk. You KNOW these people NEVER leave us alone for even a minute at any other time of the day.

SS : Okay , okay. Just chill now. Where’s the fire?

RS : Am bored.

SS : WHAT? You woke me up to say that??

RS : No dumbo. I woke you up to do something about it.

SS : Like what??

RS : Like anything, you know…just cheer up the atmosphere a bit.

SS : Why? I like the way things are right now.

RS : (rolling her eyes) Tell me God, is he REALLY my brother?? Look here buddy, I think this house sucks. I think that fat woman who insists we call her “momma” is seriously the pits. I really want to shake her up. And I need your help. Now tell me, are you game?

SS : Ummm…you are right about that fat woman. I hate the way she’s forever smothering me with kisses. Yesterday she actually left these HUGE lipstick marks on my face. Yuck!!!!

RS : (grinning) I know!! come, lets plan to really give her a tough time. I have some ideas….

SS : Alrighty!! Shoot ahead.

RS : Ok, first things first, the attack has to happen on a working day…lets make it Monday morning. Thats when she usually gets up late and is rushing for office. We’ll start by getting up late. I mean, she expects us to get out of bed around 7:30 AM. Lets not come out until 8:15 . That’ll delay her.

SS : 8:15 AM. Check. What else?

RS : After that, lets both howl as loud as possible for the milk. Give your highest pitch.

SS : (showing his teeth) I LOVE screaming.

RS : When she does give us her bottles, make sure you don’t really drink from it.

SS : Why not??

RS : You are to turn the base of the bottle and make sure you spill milk on the bed.

SS : Uh Oh!! she’s gonna yell.

RS : (evil grin) Exactly. And just when she’s busy with changing the bed covers, I’ll do my Tarzan act.

SS : Ummm…..and whats that?

RS : He He…I’ll wriggle down halfway through the edge of the bed and pretend that I’m going to fall off. She’ll have a fit when she sees me dangling precariously.

SS : Hey sis, I have an idea too.

RS : tell me.

SS : When she’s changing my diaper, I’ll dig my hands into the poop. It freaks her out every time 😀

RS : (turning up her nose) Ugh. Do it you want to. Don’t expect me to do the same!!

SS : (grinning wildly) and yeah, one more thing, while I’m busy with the poop, why don’t you make a beeline to the bathroom and douse yourself with water.

RS : (squealing in delight) What an absolutely wonderful idea. Love ya bro. And yeah, when she tries to brush our teeth, just don’t open your mouth. Clam up as hard as possible.

SS : No use. She’ll pry our mouth open anyway!!

RS : Sissy. The minute she opens your mouth, scream. Big-Dadi is sure to come to our rescue 😀

SS : (laughing) of course she will.

RS : And the last thing before she leaves…..grab her leg and hold on fast. You take right, I’ll take the left. Howl as much as you can.

SS : Right leg. Check. Done. Anything else?

RS : Umm…lets start with this. Then we can repeat the same on Tuesday , and then Wednesday…and then…

SS : Gosh RS, you are pure wicked and I LOVE you for it 😀

RS : He He SS, we sure are gonna have some fun now 🙂

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[ So the Deadly Duo carry out their mission on their unsuspecting mother.

And as usual, the poor mother is the innocent victim of organised crime 😦 ]

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