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Archive for October, 2010

 

“I do a lot of spreadsheets in the office so you can say I’m excelling at work.” ~ courtesy punoftheday.com

I am.

Excelling, that is.

Right now, I’m caught up somewhere between ABO1463 and WXH1463 .

Rescue me please 😦

 Send me some good links…or maybe some interesting posts of yours which I might have missed on 🙂



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How to cure snoring!

Once again………from the mailbox 😀

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The guys were all at a deer camp.

No one wanted to room with Fred, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Fred and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man, what happened to you?” He said, “Fred snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing — hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!” He said, ‘Man, that Fred shakes the roof with his snoring. I couldn’t sleep. I watched him all night.”

The third night was Jim’s turn. Jim was a tanned, older cowboy; a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “Good morning!” he said. They couldn’t believe it. They said, “Man, what happened?” He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Fred into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.

Fred sat up and watched me all night.”

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I’ve been ill lately. Not ill as in feverish and bed-ridden, but down with the throat bug, the kinds which give you a loud hacking cough. So not only did I sound like the wicked witch of the west, I looked like one!! My hair went awry, the eyes sunk in and the nose poked out. The cheeks went in and the chin jutted at a weird angle. I was bent double most of the time, one hand clasped to my chest while I coughed loudly and made the pigeons outside look for alternative areas of residency.

The twins, oblivious to their mother’s plight, made sure that she was neck-deep in work and troubled as much as possible. So they peed at the wrong places, dropped glasses of water on the floor,rubbed their tooth-brushes on the sofa, scattered their toys as far and wide as possible, smeared their body lotion on the walls, dropped talcum powder all over the bed, fed their food to the floor ,dumped their shoes in a bucket of water, smeared kajal on each other’s face and then, if all this wasn’t enough, fought with each other for a comb, scratching and clawing at each other for all their worth. And all this in just one day!! Sigh 😦

The trouble, began from Saturday.

I wrapped up the work at home as soon as possible because we were to visit BFG at her new office. By 3 pm, I was done with my chores and handing over the kids to the maid and GMIL, I left for BFS’s place. Reached there to find that my friend had gone to visit an advocate for some PF related documents.So I waited…And waited…and waited!!

By 5 pm, I was SICK of waiting. BFG had called up a zillion times to enquire where we were. I had called up BFS a hundred times myself. By now, there were a few light showers and I wanted to be at BFG’s office before the downpour began.

No such luck. It started pouring in earnest. By the time BFS landed up, we were both drenched. We did think of taking shelter under a building’s canopy, but gave it up when BFG called to threaten that she would lock up the office and go home if we dont turn up soon :D. So off we went, BFS and me, soaked to our inners. But it was all worth the effort when we saw BGF. She looked radiant and happy (to reiterate, I’m so PROUD of this girl 🙂 ). We met her partner, handed over a couple of gifts and then decided to move over to another part of the city to meet BFC, who’s leaving for Delhi this week.

So off we went. I was already coughing since the last one week, but the drenching and the cold evening air worsened my case 😦 . By the time we reached Camp (where we met up with BFC) , I was mostly chattering in the non-gossipy way . A quick hot idli-sambhar later, I was ready to call it quits and head home. Meanwhile, the BF gave the others, read BFC/S/G,  company for dinner. Aaahhh…curse this dratted cough that made me give up on a Sizzler!! Loser I am 😦

Anyhow, Saturday night was awful. I couldn’t sleep a wink. Couldn’t even blame the twins. They slept like angels and woke up only once (Oh Good Lord above…..why don’t I see such nights often?!) . But my cough kept me awake….you know, that lousy thing that happens as soon as you go horizontal? So if I sit up, I’m fine, but if I lie down……I’m so in for a cough attack!!

Sunday morning, woke up all dull and weary. The MIL informed that she had to attend a wedding and wont be available for lunch. Ditto FIL. BIL got called to office and the BF had left early on Sunday morning to conduct interviews in Mumbai.  So that left me and the GMIL at home with the twins.

As expected, the twin’s nanny called up to say that she wasn’t coming (story of my life!!) . The twins drove me crazy, as explained a few stanzas above!! To top it all (there’s ALWAYS a topping to such things, isn’t it?), we had guests for lunch. So I had to rustle up some quick veggies/papad and sweet (I made Jalebis. For the first time 😐 . They looked like fried slugs. Ugh !!) . The guests decided to stay back till evening tea. The twins, meanwhile were as chirpy as new-born sea-gulls and couldn’t be kept quiet. My cough was getting worse and it was all I could do to yell after the twins to stop demolishing the house! And oh, somewhere around this time, another set of guests dropped in. The people from the new set knew the people from the first set, so they all (including) GMIL got into a heavy chatting session. I served up tea and snacks and then proceeded to feed the kids some cerelac. Meanwhile, I also had to fill the water container from the aquaguard. So switching on the aquaguard in the kitchen, I took SS inside the bedroom to feed him. SS got into a fight with RS over something silly and they both started howling loudly. The GMIL yelled from the drawing as to why I was “making the kids cry” 🙄 . I yelled back that I wasn’t and after some more back and forth yelling, we convinced each other that the kids were fine.

When silence finally ensued, I heard the noise of running water.

Shit!!

Ran to the kitchen to find that not only the water container, but the kitchen platform and the kitchen floor was ankle-deep in water!! Had to whisk the kids off the kitchen (the two follow me about like mary’s lambs!), rush to the balcony to find a mop and then rush back to mop up the floor. Groan.

It took ages. And I was tired as hell by the time I finished. Frantically messaged the BF to get back to Pune ASAP! He didn’t bother to reply 😦 . Luckily, the MIL returned by 8pm. I handed over the kids to her and called it a day!

On Monday, I made a beeline for the hospital near my place. After 2 hours of waiting, and one chest X-ray later, I was informed that I had seasonal cough and NOT Chikungunya (as was the case with the three patients who had come before me). Yay!! I quickly bought the prescribed medicines and headed to my uncle’s place (cousin L’s house) to sleep. I know it sounds sneaky , since the in-laws were under the impression that I was in office. But seriously, the one thing that the doctor prescribed was to stay away from the kids for a few days. Not only to prevent them from getting infected, but also to give me some much-needed respite. I knew this statement would not go down too well with the in-laws (“Stay away from children?? How is it possible?? Didn’t we bring up our kids when we were ill?”, is what the GMIL said), so I didn’t tell them about my sleep-over at my uncle’s place. Only the BF knew. Hell, it was his suggestion in the first place 😀

On Tuesday, I went to the hospital again to undergo a session on Chest-Hydrotherapy, which is nothing but hot steaming towels placed on chest and back to ease the congestion and the knotted muscles. It was bliss 🙂 . After a loooong time, I felt myself relaxing, the steam entering my pores felt good and the severe ache in my chest and back subsided. I had to go for the session again, but could not make time for it either yesterday or today. My loss!! After the session, I once more headed to my uncles place for a snooze session, where finally, after more than 4 days and nights of disturbance, I finally slept soundly 🙂 . Was pretty fresh when I returned back home. Even in the night, I didn’t cough as much, which was a major relief.

But alas, I reported for work yesterday. And since then, I’m back to my hacking cough. Last night was worse 😦 .

The BF is after me to attend one more hydrotherapy session, but I’m just not able to make the time for it 😦 . Maybe tomorrow!!

In all this gadbad, I had to cancel my lunch date with G (you know, to celebrate her blogadda win on Sporting memories 🙂 ) .G was kind and understanding and we finally hope to meet up next Monday. Touchwood 🙂

I’m back at work today…..yeah yeah, its all the professional, dedicated person in me (whom I don’t know at all!!). And instead of focussing on work, I spend time in venting my woes (not so dedicated after all, are we?). Send me some sympathy and good vibes people 🙂 …you know, just to get through the day 🙂

Thanks in advance 🙂



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By The Water Cooler !!

Yep.

Those exclamations are justified. At least when it comes to me and my ‘office’ experiences. Foot-in-the-mouth-itis is a common ailment I suffer from. And now that Parul has opened a gateway to get hold of her book (pretty please , I Luuuurve your blog. Could you send that book over? No? You prefer reading the post first? Oh well. You asked for it 😀 ), I have no choice, but to disclose my office escapades (if you call it that, since I’m still employed (and not thrown out yet!!) ).

Here goes  –

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FITM 1

So we are all sitting in a conference room, having a call with our on-site coordinators. The call goes on and on and on and everyone on this side is getting fidgety, eager to get out of the ice-cold conf-room and get back to their work.

But no one says anything. The on site coordinator drones on like a cassette recorder whose stop button doesn’t exist. I lose track of the content and in order to stay awake, concentrate on  a game of Sudoku from a friend’s mobile.

“…….and specially, we don’t want defects being raised from module <module_name> . We wont get any thanks for just the number of defects. Try and focus on….blah blah…blah….. Have I made myself clear? So <my_name>(who does all the defect-raising)), what do you have to say for it?”

And me, who was busy dozing, caught only two words out of the entire content….”Thanks” and “<my_name>”.

So obviously, being the generous person that I am, I said, “Thats not a problem , you are most welcome. I’ll make sure that we capture all defects from module <module_name>. And yeah, please don’t thank me for it. After all, its a part of my job profile. Ha Ha Ha”.

Silence.

More silence.

Client : I’d like to talk to <my_name> after this call.

Silence.

Shit!!

*************

FITM2

Once again, seated in a conf-room (I tell you, the root of the problem lies in these rooms. Its the atmosphere!!), tele-conferencing with the client (the same one with whom I’ve interacted with for the last ONE YEAR). The entire team is present, a major brainstorming session is in progress, when the client (on the other end of the line) , lets call him Ramesh, asks for my suggestion.

Me : I was thinking Suresh, what if ….

Here, I heard a lot of disturbance around me and people looking at me as if I’d lost it.

Me : (pressing the mute button) What?!!

A colleague : Dumbo, he’s Ramesh.

Me : Aarghh..Shit. Did I say Suresh?! Drat it (switching on the microphone again) Err…sorry about that Suresh, I got your name wrong.

Silence.

Me : Shit.! !! Ooops Sorry. Err…umm…Ramesh, okay, so as I was saying…blah blah…

(after some time)

Client : The plan seems fine, how about the estimations?

Me : We can do like this Sur….Ram….Sur…Ram….Suresh…Dammit!!

Thud. Thud. Thud.

(that was me banging my head against the table)

Client : Ummm….My name is R-A-M-E-S-H. Until now I had no idea it was a tough name to remember.

Me : (now the butt of laughter around the room) Really sorry about that Suresh. Sheesh!! Gosh. I need a break. Sorry to interrupt, but it’s not my lucky day today. Kindly excuse me.

By now, everyone was doubling over with laughter….yeah, even my manager 😦

Client : (to my receding back) By the way, WHO is Suresh??

And you know what?? I have no idea 😦 . I don’t know ANYONE named Suresh. I’ve NEVER had a colleague OR a classmate by that name. I’m still not sure what happened that day 😦

************

FITM3 (well NOT technically, but more a case of bad timing)

This was when I was a relatively new employee. Also, I was new to chatting (at least on the chat-engine types 😀 )

So here I am, chatting with BFC on yahoo. I complain to her that my lead is a snotty oaf and she’s driving me up the wall. BFC is full of compassion and sympathy.

A while later, the lead calls out to me regarding some new work. I’m not sure how to do it. So she comes over to my desk. And while we are working on the issue, a pop-up from yahoo messenger appears on the screen. From BFC. Containing the text , ” Is your stupid lead still troubling you?”

Damn!!

The lead saw it. I saw it. Since she had the control over the mouse, I could only wait for the pop-up to disappear. Though my lead didn’t say anything then, she was royally ticked off. She made it a point to harass me to the extent of leaving the company, but that’s another story 🙂 .

**************

FITM4

I had a colleague and manager , in the same project who shared the same name. Lets call them both Ashish.

I was sitting late in office (since the manager wanted to review a mail, but he had conveniently left for dinner ) twiddling my thumbs for him to return. At one point, I was so ticked off that I ranted to my friend Ashish (not the manager) on chat. The crux of what all I typed was ,”Our Manager is a jerk. I’m so sick of him bossing me around that I almost plan to report him to the Delivery Head”.

And as usual, I sent it to THE manager himself.

Aaahhh…..!!

The matter was shoved under the carpet with the manager and me pretending it never happened. Though ALL my friends had come to know of the incident and were laughing themselves silly over me.

Luckily, there was no action taken. I quit within a few weeks……it was all the pressure of something NOT happening 😀

***********

BTW, a quick refresher course on the rules of the contest :-

  • You need to write a post telling a story or an anecdote based in an office. It could be about you, your spouse, kids, neighbour, whoever – it just needs to be based in an office. It can be funny, serious, somewhere in between, but it needs to be based in an office. It can feature a single protagonist or multiple characters, but it…yes, I know, you got it.
  • You need to link to her post
  • You need to put By The Water Cooler in the title of your post
  • You need to leave her a link to your post in the comments section
  • If you don’t have a blog, leave her your entry in the comments section and it will be counted

Good luck 🙂



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From the NEWS…….

So US President Barack Obama said he won’t be able to visit the Golden Temple after all (for whatever reasons!)

Apparently, this has made a lot of people unhappy. Unhappy enough to start a campaign to persuade the man to at least have a dekko!

A web campaign to persuade the prez to visit the Temple!!  Seriously??

Am I the only one who thinks that his non-appearance is a non-issue?!

What’s wrong people??

When did we start expecting politicians to lend credence to our religion??

Isn’t  the Golden Temple greater than Obama?

I could only shake my head in dismay when I read this part :-

“If these rumors (of cancellation) are true, this is a tremendously disappointing moment for the entire Sikh community and religious minorities in general. What was supposed to be affirmation and recognition of a young, vibrant, and growing religious minority, has devolved into a race to the bottom.”

A race to the bottom?? You’re kidding right?

Don’t YOU believe that your’s is a young, vibrant and growing religious minority? Don’t we Indians accept that fact? Isn’t that enough? Why the need for an American President to put his stamp of approval?

It looks like I’m ranting again 😦

But can’t help it.

Though we are now used to looking at the West for EVERYTHING, I never thought religion would be a part of that. World recognition does not stem from propaganda, it stems from the core of the religion, whichever you may follow.

Anyhow!!

*****************

Now that the back-slapping and applauding of CWG have died down, we get to hear of the uglier side of it which was kept under wraps. No, the corruption was exposed much earlier. I’m talking of what happened behind the scenes when the delegates came over to the Games Village. Of all the stuff reported, I personally feel that the worst was the behavior of the Police. Laughing at the delegates?!! WHY??

Unlike what we like to believe,  Atithi is dev only if they belong to the Caucasian race. Mongoloid, Africans and Dravidians are a strict no-no. Ample proof lies in how students of North-Eastern states are treated in other parts of the country, or how African students are harassed here.

No use ranting here……we still suffer from the Raj hangover 😦

*****************

Talk about the pressures of being a girl!!

It’s now Saina Nehwal’s turn to confess that her grandmother wanted a boy instead of her.

So typical isn’t it?

I mean, I know a lot of my friends who are even today, under pressure to give birth to a boy.  And if they don’t have a boy, their daughters don’t receive the love and attention they deserve. I mean, if you don’t have a boy, you are incomplete!! And though I’ve ranted about it enough, there seems to be no end to the blatant way in which I see women bowing down to such pressure! A dear friend at work is trying for a second baby. Though she says she’s happy with whatever God gives her, she sneaks a peak at chinese calendars, or reads through the net on how she can increase her chances of having a boy. I don’t try to advise her otherwise. She is a victim of the mindset which is so, SO deeply ingrained in us, it is almost a part of our gene-code.

That would make for a new study, isn’t it? I mean, just suppose, by looking at a person’s DNA scientists can figure out whether S/he is an Indian or not 😀 . Wow!! We’ll have a unique international identity! Wowza!!

*****************

Sanjay had twins.Yay!!

A boy and a girl. Double Yay!!

Now why wasn’t it front page news when I delivered twins?! Hmmpphh!

Maybe because I wasn’t close to 50 when I did!

Or the BF wasn’t old enough!

Whatever!!

I’m not jealous, really. Not at all.

Just ticked off miserably 😦

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There’s an absolutely wonderful update in BFG’s life. Yeah, I know, I’ve been rather lax in updating about her for some time, but seriously, this girl has done something that makes me SO proud 🙂

My friend has started a company of her own!!

WOW!!

Called Technology Consultant Group.

DOUBLE WOW!!

For the last few years she was working with a consulting firm and now, taking a BIG leap of faith she has floated her own company!! It takes a lot of patience and hard work to take this first step and then take it forward. And my heart swells with pride when I see my friend taking  infant steps in this direction. I wish her ALL the very best , for today and each day of her life. May her business be profitable and give her all the happiness she rightly deserves 🙂 .

And yeah, we are meeting up this weekend (me, BF, BFC,BFG and BFS,  you know,the usual  BFF gang 🙂 ) for lunch as well as a dekko at the new office. Gosh, I’m so happy 😀

**********

BFC is leaving.

She’ll be back shortly, but after that, around December, she’s finally leaving Pune. For Delhi.

After 13 long years!!

We’ve been together so long….*Sigh*. I’m gonna miss her terribly.

(We still have plans of convincing her hubby to settle in Pune…..lets see how that turns out 😀 )

***********

I saw Do Dooni Char.

(Confession time. I saw it on a pirated CD. GUILTY. But how else is a working-mother-of-twins to watch a movie?!! There’s no time for theatre, and if you tell me that it’ll come on TV shortly, a reminder here. We don’t watch TV. So, cut me some slack, pretty please 🙂 ).

Anyhow, back to the movie. It scores. BIG TIME.

Firstly, it is short. I guess not more than 90 minutes (though I seriously wished it was longer…!)

Secondly, it has Rishi and Neetu, who are very far from the ‘Ek main aur ek tu’ pair, but share the same on-screen rapport they did decades ago. Looking at Neetu, its tough to remember she was away from the screen for so long. Sure, there are wrinkles and dark-circles, but her acting is flawless 🙂

And Rishi, in all his pot-bellied,monkey-capped,half-sweater glory steals the show 🙂 . Some people are never meant to stay away fromt he limelight and I guess he’s one of them.

The kids in the movie are good too, very natural.

I’m not very good at reviews, since I tend to give away spoilers. Its best that you make time for this movie…..its really cute, brings back memories of Hrishikesh Mukherjee films (and for that, we surely must be grateful 😀 ).

And oh, don’t forget to listen to the title-track “Maange ki ghodi”.  Its really cute 🙂

**********

Its the BIL’s B’day today. YAY!!!

Many Happy Returns of the Day, dear BIL 🙂

Anyhow, since he isn’t aware of the existence of this blog, I may use it to a better purpose 😀 .

Folks, what does one gift a guy turning 27??

I’m running out of ideas (please cancel out laptop, i-pod, mobile, etc. Its all there at home!)

Asking the BF is a BIG joke. He has no sense of gifting (going by the stuff he gifts me!!). I make his life easier by simply taking away his card and shopping for what I want.

For the record *looking around* the BF sucks at gifting. Awfully.

When he got back from his Mahabaleshwar trip, he gifted me this :-

Wooden back massager

It was within our first year of marriage.

There were no kids then.

I was still ‘young’.

What made him think I needed that?!!

In  the second year of marriage, he had gone on an official trip to Matheran, from where he brought me this :-

Huh?!

I guess he was expecting me to sit in my balcony and take pot-shots at every passing vehicle below 😐

But the question remains, WHY?!!!

So the BF is definitely ruled out when it comes to gifts. For sure 😐

So help me out please……you have time till 6pm to respond.

Hurry 😀



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Another moment in motherhood

I come back to my bed after everyone has gone to sleep. The last-minute wrapping up, cleaning the kitchen and chopping vegetables for the next day took longer than I had anticipated.

Tired and sleepy, I drop myself on the bed, between my two munchkins. As my head hits the pillow, I feel weariness engulfing me and I just want to drop into oblivion.

“Mammaa…”, a tinny voice calls out.

I groan inwards. Not now, I think. Don’t make me get up now for your milk.  I know it’ll be some time before I can make myself get up. But I don’t say it out loud . I make an effort to turn towards the voice.

Haan betu“, I ask softly.

Mammaaa…..aaja“, says the voice, while two tiny arms are outstretched to hug the mamma.

What could the mamma do?

She humbly let the arms encircle her, feeling the warmth of the tiny bundle so close , the heartbeats a natural rhythm to mirror her own.

A chubby palm starts patting my back. “Mammaa…..thoya?”

Haan beta….mamma soya“, is all I can say before I crumble with emotion at the love given so easily.

Sigh. Daughters!!

What would we do without them?!!

**************



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