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Archive for October 13th, 2010

On marriage proposals!

I have a confession to make.

I’ve never experienced the discomfort of receiving proposals.

Or looking up guys.

Or getting looked up.

( Which many of my friends would claim vehemently, is the most vile situation to be in )

But then, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, isn’t it?!

I forever rue the fact that I never got to see even a SINGLE proposal. Not even a bio-data!! Heck, not even a mention that so and so’s son is eligible for me!!

Hmmpfff!! Go on, smirk your heart out!

What’s a girl to do in these circumstances? The girl in question, went ahead and married a guy of her choice 😀

B-U-T. Fact remains that I never got a proposal (if parents got them and never told me about it, in a way, I’m grateful to them 🙂 ).

So when I see mails like this, my heart soars….only to come crashing down seconds later (or is it nano-seconds later ?!! )

I wish!!

 

The “Click here” beckons invitingly and my fingers itch as I drag the mouse slowly towards the link…..I now know how EVE must’ve felt when faced with the forbidden fruit!!

But better sense prevails……I see the happy, smiling faces peering at me from a snap on my desktop and reality comes crashing down.

Its too late , I guess 😦

Alas!!



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More on that in a moment. Let me first speak about the little girls 🙂 .

There’s a reason mothers feel a different kind of draw towards their daughters. The main one being that we women are still girls at heart. And when we have a tiny baby with big eyes and silky hair in our arms, it brings out the girl in us. We crave to comb her hair, decorate it with colourful clips, hairbands and ribbons. We LOVE to dress them up in fancy outfits, sometimes, even taking the effort to stitch some ourselves (I did stitch a tiny one-piece dress with red trimming and a red satin ribbon at the waist. And I did it by hand. No sewing machine 😀 . It’s a pity it never struck me to take a snap then 😦 . the dress is long gone, donated to some relative, I’m not sure who 😦  ).

The BF noticed that I’m partial towards RS and mentioned it once. In my defense, I can say that I’m partial only in terms of dressing them. I can dress SS in jeans/shorts and a T-shirt and I’m done. But with RS, I take time to choose a top, select a skirt/jeans, then select matching shoes and other accessories to go with it. Somehow, these little things give me a lot of joy. When I go shopping ,I end up buying more stuff for RS than SS (guilty here 😦 ). Yeah, I even buy her clips and hair-bands even though she barely has any hair. But a mother can wish, can’t she 😀 ?!!

Though I don’t buy these things for SS, my boy likes them just as much as RS!! So he brings me a clip and asks me to put it on his head 😀 . Or he extends his fingers for the nails to be painted by the nanny, when she paints RS’s. Sometimes, I feel that we are so stringent in being gender-biased that we forget that little boys and girls don’t know the difference between themselves yet!! The BIL was once annoyed when SS showed him his nail-polish. But like I said at that time, what does the little tyke know?! Why should we instill regulations limiting his scope to experiment right now??

What he sees is bright, colourful stuff and he is as naturally attracted to it as RS. Who can blame him? With time, he will obviously come over these habits and so I’m not overly worried if my little boy shows a preference for pink shoes over blue, or likes playing with utensils from the kitchen or wants me to put a hairband on his head. He’s just a baby  and I see no threat!

When RS does the monkeying around, climbing over tables, jumping from the sofa, bossing over other kids, everyone applauds her for being a “tomboy”. But when SS (being a mild child by comparison), prefers “cooking food” with toys or plays with baby dolls, the men in the family panic over him turning into a sissy!! WHY?? Why does he have to prove that he is a ‘male’ specimen?? Should I then expect him to turn into a bully and only have fist-fights for entertainment?? OF COURSE NOT!!

I think we fret too much these days. The more the world gets liberal, the more we try to hide under the security of ignorance. The slightest use of the colour pink  by a male immediately translates to questions about his sexual orientation! Why the fixation with it people?? Pink is JUST A COLOUR!!  Like Purple (which is now widely called as the ‘colour of pride’ by the gay community). My question is, why colour-code people? Why do we have to slot people based on the colour they like?

And worse, why do we have to slot kids?!! In most cases, boys have it worse than girls. Today, a young boy would rather stay hungry than take a pink lunchbox to school, just because his class-mates would then call him names which would be demeaning. Does this make sense?? Who has instilled in the other children’s mind that ‘pink is bad’ ?!! What do little boys know about being gay, anyway?!!

They are yet to understand the world. Yet to absorb the nature and the myriad colours around them. Yet to make a preference, take a liking. Does it then make sense to set-up barriers in this learning phase?

On that note, let me say that when the twins were born, I never bothered with the pink and blue convention. SS was as many times in pink as RS. People would point to the pink-capped SS and ask if he was the girl and I’d ask them what made them think so. “Because of the pink cap”, they’d say and I’d go, “So??” . After which people generally didn’t have a reply. Because, like I said before, “Pink is just a colour”!!!

And like I dress up RS most of the times, I sometimes dress up SS too. He looks cute as a button and enjoys all the fuss and attention I shower on him. I don’t see any harm in it. Do you??



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