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Archive for October 28th, 2010

How to cure snoring!

Once again………from the mailbox 😀

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The guys were all at a deer camp.

No one wanted to room with Fred, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Fred and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man, what happened to you?” He said, “Fred snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing — hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!” He said, ‘Man, that Fred shakes the roof with his snoring. I couldn’t sleep. I watched him all night.”

The third night was Jim’s turn. Jim was a tanned, older cowboy; a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “Good morning!” he said. They couldn’t believe it. They said, “Man, what happened?” He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Fred into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.

Fred sat up and watched me all night.”

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I’ve been ill lately. Not ill as in feverish and bed-ridden, but down with the throat bug, the kinds which give you a loud hacking cough. So not only did I sound like the wicked witch of the west, I looked like one!! My hair went awry, the eyes sunk in and the nose poked out. The cheeks went in and the chin jutted at a weird angle. I was bent double most of the time, one hand clasped to my chest while I coughed loudly and made the pigeons outside look for alternative areas of residency.

The twins, oblivious to their mother’s plight, made sure that she was neck-deep in work and troubled as much as possible. So they peed at the wrong places, dropped glasses of water on the floor,rubbed their tooth-brushes on the sofa, scattered their toys as far and wide as possible, smeared their body lotion on the walls, dropped talcum powder all over the bed, fed their food to the floor ,dumped their shoes in a bucket of water, smeared kajal on each other’s face and then, if all this wasn’t enough, fought with each other for a comb, scratching and clawing at each other for all their worth. And all this in just one day!! Sigh 😦

The trouble, began from Saturday.

I wrapped up the work at home as soon as possible because we were to visit BFG at her new office. By 3 pm, I was done with my chores and handing over the kids to the maid and GMIL, I left for BFS’s place. Reached there to find that my friend had gone to visit an advocate for some PF related documents.So I waited…And waited…and waited!!

By 5 pm, I was SICK of waiting. BFG had called up a zillion times to enquire where we were. I had called up BFS a hundred times myself. By now, there were a few light showers and I wanted to be at BFG’s office before the downpour began.

No such luck. It started pouring in earnest. By the time BFS landed up, we were both drenched. We did think of taking shelter under a building’s canopy, but gave it up when BFG called to threaten that she would lock up the office and go home if we dont turn up soon :D. So off we went, BFS and me, soaked to our inners. But it was all worth the effort when we saw BGF. She looked radiant and happy (to reiterate, I’m so PROUD of this girl 🙂 ). We met her partner, handed over a couple of gifts and then decided to move over to another part of the city to meet BFC, who’s leaving for Delhi this week.

So off we went. I was already coughing since the last one week, but the drenching and the cold evening air worsened my case 😦 . By the time we reached Camp (where we met up with BFC) , I was mostly chattering in the non-gossipy way . A quick hot idli-sambhar later, I was ready to call it quits and head home. Meanwhile, the BF gave the others, read BFC/S/G,  company for dinner. Aaahhh…curse this dratted cough that made me give up on a Sizzler!! Loser I am 😦

Anyhow, Saturday night was awful. I couldn’t sleep a wink. Couldn’t even blame the twins. They slept like angels and woke up only once (Oh Good Lord above…..why don’t I see such nights often?!) . But my cough kept me awake….you know, that lousy thing that happens as soon as you go horizontal? So if I sit up, I’m fine, but if I lie down……I’m so in for a cough attack!!

Sunday morning, woke up all dull and weary. The MIL informed that she had to attend a wedding and wont be available for lunch. Ditto FIL. BIL got called to office and the BF had left early on Sunday morning to conduct interviews in Mumbai.  So that left me and the GMIL at home with the twins.

As expected, the twin’s nanny called up to say that she wasn’t coming (story of my life!!) . The twins drove me crazy, as explained a few stanzas above!! To top it all (there’s ALWAYS a topping to such things, isn’t it?), we had guests for lunch. So I had to rustle up some quick veggies/papad and sweet (I made Jalebis. For the first time 😐 . They looked like fried slugs. Ugh !!) . The guests decided to stay back till evening tea. The twins, meanwhile were as chirpy as new-born sea-gulls and couldn’t be kept quiet. My cough was getting worse and it was all I could do to yell after the twins to stop demolishing the house! And oh, somewhere around this time, another set of guests dropped in. The people from the new set knew the people from the first set, so they all (including) GMIL got into a heavy chatting session. I served up tea and snacks and then proceeded to feed the kids some cerelac. Meanwhile, I also had to fill the water container from the aquaguard. So switching on the aquaguard in the kitchen, I took SS inside the bedroom to feed him. SS got into a fight with RS over something silly and they both started howling loudly. The GMIL yelled from the drawing as to why I was “making the kids cry” 🙄 . I yelled back that I wasn’t and after some more back and forth yelling, we convinced each other that the kids were fine.

When silence finally ensued, I heard the noise of running water.

Shit!!

Ran to the kitchen to find that not only the water container, but the kitchen platform and the kitchen floor was ankle-deep in water!! Had to whisk the kids off the kitchen (the two follow me about like mary’s lambs!), rush to the balcony to find a mop and then rush back to mop up the floor. Groan.

It took ages. And I was tired as hell by the time I finished. Frantically messaged the BF to get back to Pune ASAP! He didn’t bother to reply 😦 . Luckily, the MIL returned by 8pm. I handed over the kids to her and called it a day!

On Monday, I made a beeline for the hospital near my place. After 2 hours of waiting, and one chest X-ray later, I was informed that I had seasonal cough and NOT Chikungunya (as was the case with the three patients who had come before me). Yay!! I quickly bought the prescribed medicines and headed to my uncle’s place (cousin L’s house) to sleep. I know it sounds sneaky , since the in-laws were under the impression that I was in office. But seriously, the one thing that the doctor prescribed was to stay away from the kids for a few days. Not only to prevent them from getting infected, but also to give me some much-needed respite. I knew this statement would not go down too well with the in-laws (“Stay away from children?? How is it possible?? Didn’t we bring up our kids when we were ill?”, is what the GMIL said), so I didn’t tell them about my sleep-over at my uncle’s place. Only the BF knew. Hell, it was his suggestion in the first place 😀

On Tuesday, I went to the hospital again to undergo a session on Chest-Hydrotherapy, which is nothing but hot steaming towels placed on chest and back to ease the congestion and the knotted muscles. It was bliss 🙂 . After a loooong time, I felt myself relaxing, the steam entering my pores felt good and the severe ache in my chest and back subsided. I had to go for the session again, but could not make time for it either yesterday or today. My loss!! After the session, I once more headed to my uncles place for a snooze session, where finally, after more than 4 days and nights of disturbance, I finally slept soundly 🙂 . Was pretty fresh when I returned back home. Even in the night, I didn’t cough as much, which was a major relief.

But alas, I reported for work yesterday. And since then, I’m back to my hacking cough. Last night was worse 😦 .

The BF is after me to attend one more hydrotherapy session, but I’m just not able to make the time for it 😦 . Maybe tomorrow!!

In all this gadbad, I had to cancel my lunch date with G (you know, to celebrate her blogadda win on Sporting memories 🙂 ) .G was kind and understanding and we finally hope to meet up next Monday. Touchwood 🙂

I’m back at work today…..yeah yeah, its all the professional, dedicated person in me (whom I don’t know at all!!). And instead of focussing on work, I spend time in venting my woes (not so dedicated after all, are we?). Send me some sympathy and good vibes people 🙂 …you know, just to get through the day 🙂

Thanks in advance 🙂



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