And her name is Lui 😐
Seriously. This daughter of mine is the reincarnate of the monster mother-in-law I never had.
Given that my MIL is pretty mild by nature and that GMIL is now not as rough as she used to be in her hey days (going by her glory-days-tales narrated again and again by caring relatives ), I’ve had a reasonably pleasant experience living with two MILs. What I’d never imagined in my wildest dream was that one day, my daughter, my very heartbeat, the apple of my squinty eyes would turn back and give me the soap-opera-ish MIL treatment! *Gasp*
Picture this :-
1) Me sits down to read the newspaper after a marathon 4 hours in the kitchen. Just when the tired feet are feeling some tingling of blood circulation, the little miss comes up and demands, “Mujhe apple chai-ye“.
I yell out to the nanny and ask her to give an apple to Lui.
“Nai, Plachi nai do. Mumma aap do“.
“Baby, it’s the same apple. Go to the kitchen, Prachi-didi will give it to you.”
“NO”, yells the terror-girl. “MUMMA DO!!!”.
“No, I’m tired and want to read the paper”.
“Mumma aap do, mumma aap do, mumma aap do, mummaaaaaa aaap do, mummmmmmaaaaaaa aaaaap do naaaaa………”
Mumma has no option but to carry her sorry self to the kitchen and fetch her daughter the coveted apple. And also, do ALL the running around one has to do around a child. Lui makes sure that I’m never sitting idle for a moment when I’m home 😦 . Makes me wonder why I bother to pay the nanny for looking after two kids when one kid refuses to be looekd after by anyone other than her mother!!
2) I’m in a rush to leave for office. Am done with everything and am about to leave. Lui has just finished her big job (in the diaper) and the nanny tries to lead her to the loo for a wash.
“Nahin naa…”, wails my daughter, “Mumma dhoti“.
“Beta I’m getting late. I’ll wash you tomorrow. Let didi wash your bum now”.
“NAHIN!! Mumma dhoti!!”, and screaming so, my daughter promptly throws a royal tantrum.
Mumma has no option but to put down her purse, lunch bag, remove the scarf and socks and do the needful.
3) The twins are playing with their dolls (yes, Shobs loves his ‘Baby’ as much as Lui does 😐 ) . Lui grabs at the cap that Shobs has put over his doll. This results in Shobs yelling and grabbing his cap back. Lui promptly snatches it again and runs out of the room. Shobs starts howling and rushes to me, sobbing that his sister stole his cap.
I ask Lui (politely, I may add here) to return the cap to Shobs.
“NO”, she yells defiantly.
I repeat the request once more. Lui simply glares at me and her brother.
Losing my cool, I scold her a little too sharply. Grudgingly, she hands over the cap to Shobs. Turning to me, the little miss hollers,”Kai-ko mujhe daant-ti. Mujhe Kai-ko daant-ti tu??” (Notice the missing ‘aap’ )
“Hello?!! Whats this ‘tu’ business?? “, I counter back.
Her tone gets a little more menacing as she yells, “Kaiko ddanti tu, haan?!! Main ro-oongi“.
Oooohh!!! Shiver-me-timbers!!! This girl threatens me with her tears 😐 .Well, this mumma is as hard at the core as they come. So I reply, “Really?? Well then, lets see you cry!!”.
With tears threatening to spill over, the tiny tot, with her face flushed with fury screams at me, “Mujhe daanti?? Mai ro-oon?? Mai ro-oon?? Kaiko mujhe daanti haan?? Kaiko daanti?? Mujhe daant-ti tu!!! ……………………….”
This outrage continues to spill forth unless and until I take the initiative and ask for forgiveness, which includes holding my ears and making a sorry face (complete with pouty lips!!)
4) Then there’s this by now famous quote from Lui which has reached all the neighbours and relatives alike. They all guffaw when they hear her saying that.
“Mera nai sunti?!! Nooool!!” . That “Nool” part is specifically reserved for her to express her anger at her mother 😦
That is how my daughter scolds me if I don’t abide by her whims and fancies the second it leaves her mouth.
I told the MIL the other day, that there was something lacking in her portrayal of an MIL that my daughter has come to fulfill.
And make my life miserable in the bargain 😦