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Archive for February, 2011

After the title , I thought this post was a wee bit misleading, what with 7 Khoon Maaf round the corner and all.

But no.

Its about wedding outfits. And getting to wear not one or two, or three or four, but NINE wedding outfits on one day!!!

Whew!!

Do check out the outfits here . Mrs.Glass sure is one happy bride 😀

And I’m one grouchy woman today. Back-breaking work in office and a muscle pull in the neck!! And then I read about how people spend millions on weddings.

*Glooom*

I wanna get married again.

I guess today, being Valentine’s and all that jazz, me just gotta propose to the BF once again (which doesn’t imply that I proposed to him the first time 😐 )

Leaving for the day folks. Hope you all had a better time than me 😀

Love ya all 🙂



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Boot Polish and Bandook

By now, we’ve all heard/read reports the  Great shoe-cleaning incident .

Going by Mayavati’s total nonchalance while the security officer went about his ‘job’, we can safely assume that it wasn’t the first time Maya Devi had her shoes cleaned publicly. If the media snapped up the event this time, their bad luck!! After all, what’s the big deal about this case anyway?!!

Anyway, I came across this rather caustic letter addressed to Padam Singh, the boot cleaner. Sorry, I meant, retired Deputy SP. Do read it if you have the time.

In another Police related news, how horrifying is this news?? 

And so totally unforgivable this one?!!

In both these cases, even if the men recover, I’d say, just shoot them and make sure they don’t get up this time!!



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Dear Ishaan,

You don’t know me, but I guess I can safely say that I know you 🙂

You are Kid#1. The Pilot. The doting husband. The caring Son.The apple of your Mamma’s eye. And while I was eagerly waiting for Ritu’s book to get published, out comes this news that you’ve beaten your mom to it 😀 . Once again, you’ve managed to surprise your mom, but this time, I’m sure her eyes gleam with pride 🙂 .Though she rues that you stole her thunder, I swear she couldn’t  keep the love and joy out of her words 😀 .

I haven’t read your book yet, but I’m hearing some really good word-of-mouth publicity going around. Definitely, your book is on my reading list.

Here’s wishing you all the very best in ALL your endeavours (I hear you’ve started work on your next book. Already!!)

Cheers,

N.

=========================================

Dear folks, I got tagged by Shail to answer a few questions related to “Bracelet” (the jewellery, NOT the book 😀 ) . So here goes :-

1.  What does the name suggest?  Could be anything you know, even “Oops its my wife/girl friend’s birthday, what do I get her” Just put it down.

“Hathkadi”.Handcuffs 😐

Or maybe that secret thing around the wrist that can do a thousand different things like opening doors, switching TV channels, microphone, watch, etc.

2. If your loved one presented you a bracelet, what would you want it to be made of?  Alternatively if you had to present a bracelet to your sweetheart, what would you pick?

a.) Gold

b) Gold and rubies

c) Diamonds babe, just diamonds

d) Whateva, its gotta be expensive and look it!

e) Simple iron kada, or a silver one.  Not showy.

Iron, for strength. And an iron kada worn around the wrist will never rust. It shines as good as silver and looks just as grand.

3. Suppose your bracelet (or kada) had magical qualities (Like Aladin’s lamp) what magical qualities would you want it to have?  Let your imagination run riot … anything, money, power, world domination, elixir of youth …. Just pen it down – or punch them keys…

I would want it to secrete the aroma of wet earth after the first rainfall, forever.

4. Do snakes scare you or do you get strangely fascinated by them?

Strangely fascinated, I would guess. At least when I watch them on Animal Planet with my kids 🙂

But I’m sure that the moment I’m faced with one, I’d go screaming for my life 😀

5.  Harry Potter could speak Parseltongue.  Do you wish you could?

I wish I could speak any tongue other than  English and Hindi 😦

6.  What do you dream about?  No this is not about day dreaming, it’s not about wishful thinking, its about being in dreamland.

The BF’s wedding. Yes, complete with a picture-perfect bride (who’s not me!!) and all the sho-sha. My future daughter-in-law.My son-in-law. My friend’s weddings.

I guess I dream a LOT about weddings. What to do, it is the national time pass after all 😀

7. Do you remember your dreams?

Of course!! How else do you think I know I dream of weddings ?!!

8. Ever had your dreams interpreted?

Huh?!

*gulp*

Should I ??

9. Do you keep a dream diary?

Does anyone??

I mean, unless one is of the kind who hops out of their bed first thing in the morning and starts punching into their laptops!

I can safely say I’m not one of them 😀

10.  Your favorite wrist jewelery?

a). Bangles

b)  Bracelet

c) Expensive Watch

d) Friendship band

e) Taveez or sacred thread (mouli)

Tough one this. Being in IT, I’ve given up wearing bangles or bracelets or even wrist watches!! My wrists are as bare as they were when I was born. But when the mood strikes, I like a bunch of bangles jingling on my left wrist 😀

I now tag thee :-

G

Pallu

Unmana

OM

NewMumOnTheBlock

C’mon girls, take it up 🙂



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Hiya Peeps,

Things have been rather busy at the home front these days and as a result I’m forever rushed at work too 😦

But like every silver lining to the black cloud, there’s some good coming out of all this mayhem 🙂

Anyhow, coming to the latest updates, for all those of you who called/messaged/pinged and commented about the GMIL, I have good news. GMIL is back home. Yay 🙂 . The twins are super-kicked to have their favourite Gran back and holler to be allowed to sit besides her on her bed. But given the stitches that run down half her thigh, we don’t oblige. Obviously!

Granny, on her part is a much softer person these days. Gone are the sharp admonitions and the stubbornness. You can say, the fire has dimmed and we can almost see a halo over her head 😀 .  She’s raring to start walking again and putting in all the effort she can (kudos to her!!) . Believe me, it isn’t easy at her age, but she’ll be damned if she has to spend the rest of her life tied to the bed. That thought scares her far more than it does us. We are waiting for the stitches to heal before we can start her on her physiotherapy. Currently, we just help her move her leg a bit just to keep the blood circulation going.

I got promoted.

I didn’t.

I got a designation change (one level up), but the same grade as before and no salary hike. Gloom 😦

But.

The BF got promoted. Again 🙄

And I’m really ticked off!!

I mean, the guy who was earning less than me while we got married, is now miles ahead. Dunno what happened to my kick-ass drive!! As he gloats, I groan in dismay. Poor performance, he says. Twins, I point out. I had them too, he reminds me. Not from there, I say, glancing at his tummy.You’re jealous, he smirks. Peeved, I correct. *giggle*, him. *Ouch*, him, after a hard bonk on the head with a pillow.

Peace prevails currently.

I haven’t uploaded any pics of the terrible-two in AGES!!! Any guesses why??

Because, after the last time I posted their pics, I was careless enough to misplace the memory card. With no time to buy a new one, I’m left memory-less when my kids do something cute and I have no way of capturing it 😦 . Sure, I go click-happy with my cell, but you know how those pics turn out 😦 . Buying a memory card is HIGH priority now!

In another news, Mom called up to say that she’s planning to drop down to Pune some day. Yippeee 🙂 . After ages, I shall have the comfort of sobbing my heart out on my mom’s lap 😀 (not that I have anything to sob about, but it looks like just the right kind of mushy thing to do 😉 ) .

One quick excerpt from a conversation at dinner time :-

Attendees : Me, MIL and BIL.

MIL : One of Abba’s friend’s has sent a bio-data.

BF : (busy munching) We have no openings at work currently.

MIL : Its for marriage.

BF :  *munch munch* Tell Abba not to bother.

MIL : (bewildered) Why?? Its a good proposal.

BF : Am not interested. (pointing to me) I can barely handle one.

*Silence*

BANG!

(That’s me banging down my glass as I get him)

MIL : LOL!!! You wish 😉

Context of the above conversation : We are looking for a match for the BIL. Poor guy was silent throughout he conversation.

Thats all for now.

Will come back with more updates once I’m done with this task at hand. Till then, me hearties,

Ciao 🙂

 



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I was having a conversation with some friends here in office at coffee. We are all a bunch of married women and sometimes, we do jump into talks of how marriage has changed our lives, sometimes for the better, at times, for the worst. I doubt there’s any one of us who doesn’t feel that they could have achieved more if they weren’t married.

Honestly speaking, I am one of them 🙂

But then, when compared to what we have (jobs, steady income) and what we have (husbands, families, children), the what-we-may-have-had seems a tad insignificant.

Seeing the larger picture puts things in perspective. But the problem is, we may not always be in a position to see the larger picture. We are in the picture ourselves. And from that perspective, it doesn’t help that we feel rather small 😦

Anyway, coming back to the discussion I had, we were discussing about what all criteria is considered for a guy to make a decision regarding on-site opportunities. It’s an open fact that all people in IT crave at least one visit abroad. Even if it means going for a week. So the guy gets an offer from office. He jumps with joy. Comes back home, shares the news with his family. His parents are super happy, his wife (if he has one) will be happy initially and then a bit sad that he wouldn’t be around for some time. The kids may/may not express joy/hurt whatever, it doesn’t matter. The guy packs his stuff (or in most cases, the wife OR mother packs his stuff) and off he goes.

Now supposing, a married woman gets the offer, the scene changes entirely. She comes back home, shares it with her family. There is initial joy, which is quickly replaced with hard reality. Who will look after the house? What about the kids? Who will cook the meals? Will the husband be able to manage on his own? If the children are school-going, who will take care of their studies?

If the woman has been married for a couple of years, it brings out another set of questions. How long will she be away? What about starting a family? What about priorities? And worse, she has to take permission. Right from husband, to in-laws to parents and every other person of relevance. At times, the girl’s parents jump to her rescue, agreeing to look after her family in her absence. This situation may or may not find favour with the in-laws, specially if they live with their son and daughter-in-law.

Even if the woman does get a chance to go, she is burdened with the constant worries of home and hearth, not because it is an in-built mechanism (as some would like to point out. Woman’s nature and all such crap) but mostly because she is constantly reminded of what she has left behind. On one hand, when a guy from on-site calls back home, everyone tells him to enjoy his stay, concentrate on work and not worry about home. But when a woman calls up, she is asked how much longer will she be away, she is updated about the smallest instance of ill-health of her child or husband and also the major issues plaguing the household.

These are real inputs from my female friends over the years. The trend hasn’t changed much, though the count of women flying overseas has. And each time, these woman have to fret over a zillion reactions from family members. There are a few lucky ones who have the support and encouragement of their families. But these lucky ones are a minority. For the chunk of the working woman populace, an on-site opportunity is a life-altering dilemma. To pursue one’s dreams/career or give it up for husband/children, albeit for a short duration?! I’m one of those who gave up on such opportunities more than once, but these decisions were taken before my marriage (at one time, I got the offer a month before my wedding, so I gave it a pass and opted for marriage 🙂 ). It doesn’t hurt as much because I know that the BF gave up the same opportunities to be by my side, once before our marriage (he was supposed to be in US and me in UK. So we both refused the offers and decided to get married instead 😀 ) and again, after the kids were born. He could have been promoted and earned bag-fuls if he hadn’t sacrificed then. But we have no regrets, because our ship is sailing pretty smooth right now 😀 .

The reason I thought of putting up this post today, is because, today at work, we had a session by Padmashree Mrs.Lila Poonawala.I must say, it was an awe-inspiring and thoroughly enjoyable session. Do check out her website. This is one lady with the right amount of guts and grit 🙂

The crux of Mrs.Poonawala’s talk was on women in the professional world. Of the perception of men about women and their performance. But more, on the women’s perception about themselves as career women. I’m guilty of some of the faults she listed, like thinking about home when at work and then about work at home. Worrying about what neighbours/relatives will say if I come back late from work or getting irritable at home because of some conflict at work. I’m sure many other women suffer the same fate.

But more important, the talk centered around how men should change their perceptions about women. About how a woman cannot achieve much if she doesn’t have the able support of her husband and family. About how a man should accept that his working wife is a professional too and if he gets late at work or has to go out of town for work, then she may have to do the same. If she trusts that he will not indulge in some hanky-panky while away from her, she deserves the same level of trust and acceptance .

And if, (this is a BIG if) she gets an offer to visit on-site, it’s the husband’s responsibility to provide her with the same level of support and push which he expects for himself. He should stand up to being responsible for the home and hearth in her absence. This not only allows women to become highly resourceful professionals but also makes their relationships stronger. Because in any relationship, if the man only knows how to take and not give, then that relationship is destined to doom, irrespective of whether the wife is a working woman or not.

Anyhow, the best part of the session were these four points that Mrs.Poonawala listed out, specifically for women :-

  • Look like a girl
  • At any time of the day or night, don’t forget that you are a woman first. You have to look good to feel good. A little grooming does no harm. Learn to spend some time for yourself. Make sure your nails are clean and your hair is combed. A dash of lipstick hurt no one. And no wrinkled clothes, even if they are just jeans.

  • Behave like a Lady
  • Just because you are working with men doesn’t mean that you start behaving like them. Be dainty, be nice. Speak softly , coherently. Don’t yell, don’t back-slap. Never forget that you are a woman. If a guy opens the door for you, be gracious enough to thank him. Don’t just shrug and say defiantly that you can open the door yourself. There are some liberties which come along with being a woman, learn to accept them.

  • Think like a man
  • Ultimately, we are working in the men’s realm. It is their domain we infringe upon. For centuries, men have worked together. Their level of understanding and acceptance with each other is much different than what it will be with women. To understand their terms of working, learn to think like them. Learn to predict their behavior so that you can stay one step ahead of them.

  • Work like a dog.
  • Because at the end of the day, we have families to look after. Because even if we touch the sky, we have to come down to our homes, our kids, our parents, our spouses. To look after them, to take care of them to nurture them. To be a woman first and a professional later. To balance work and home, we should put in 30 hours in a day. Or at least, learn to do so.

As I type all this, I realize that I’ve done more harm to myself as a professional than everyone else combined. I’ve taken wrong decisions at times, worried about the reaction of the other people concerned and then regretted it deeply. And as I type, I know the change that I need to bring about in myself. I don’t crave to be a super mom or a senior manager . I just want to be good at what I do.

No, that came out wrong.

I just want to be satisfied with what I do 🙂 .

Because at the end of the day, can’t keep anyone happy unless I’m happy, right?!

 



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I have a new Mother-In-Law

And her name is Lui 😐

Seriously. This daughter of mine is the reincarnate of the monster mother-in-law I never had.

Given that my MIL is pretty mild by nature and that GMIL is now not as rough as she used to be in her hey days (going by her glory-days-tales narrated again and again by caring relatives ), I’ve had a reasonably pleasant experience living with two MILs. What I’d never imagined in my wildest dream was that one day, my daughter, my very heartbeat, the apple of my squinty eyes would turn back and give me the soap-opera-ish MIL treatment! *Gasp*

Picture this :-

1) Me sits down to read the newspaper after a marathon 4 hours in the kitchen. Just when the tired feet are feeling some tingling of blood circulation, the little miss comes up and demands, “Mujhe apple chai-ye“.

I yell out to the nanny and ask her to give an apple to Lui.

Nai, Plachi nai do. Mumma aap do“.

*Groan*

“Baby, it’s the same apple. Go to the kitchen, Prachi-didi will give it to you.”

“NO”, yells the terror-girl. “MUMMA DO!!!”.

“No, I’m tired and want to read the paper”.

Mumma aap do, mumma aap do, mumma aap do, mummaaaaaa aaap do, mummmmmmaaaaaaa aaaaap do naaaaa………”

Mumma has no option but to carry her sorry self to the kitchen and fetch her daughter the coveted apple. And also, do ALL the running around one has to do around a child. Lui makes sure that I’m never sitting idle for a moment when I’m home 😦 . Makes me wonder why I bother to pay the nanny for looking after two kids when one kid refuses to be looekd after by anyone other than her mother!!

2) I’m in a rush to leave for office. Am done with everything and am about to leave. Lui has just finished her big job (in the diaper) and the nanny tries to lead her to the loo for a wash.

Nahin naa…”, wails my daughter, “Mumma dhoti“.

“Beta I’m getting late. I’ll wash you tomorrow. Let didi wash your bum now”.

NAHIN!! Mumma dhoti!!”, and screaming so, my daughter promptly throws a royal tantrum.

Mumma has no option but to put down her purse, lunch bag, remove the scarf and socks and do the needful.

3) The twins are playing with their dolls (yes, Shobs loves his ‘Baby’ as much as Lui does 😐 ) . Lui grabs at the cap that Shobs has put over his doll. This results in Shobs yelling and grabbing his cap back. Lui promptly snatches it again and runs out of the room. Shobs starts howling and rushes to me, sobbing that his sister stole his cap.

I ask Lui (politely, I may add here) to return the cap to Shobs.

“NO”, she yells defiantly.

I repeat the request once more. Lui simply glares at me and her brother.

Losing my cool, I scold her a little too sharply. Grudgingly, she hands over the cap to Shobs. Turning to me, the little miss hollers,”Kai-ko mujhe daant-ti. Mujhe Kai-ko daant-ti tu??” (Notice the missing ‘aap’ )

“Hello?!! Whats this ‘tu’ business?? “, I counter back.

Her tone gets a little more menacing as she yells, “Kaiko ddanti tu, haan?!! Main ro-oongi“.

Oooohh!!! Shiver-me-timbers!!! This girl threatens me with her tears 😐 .Well, this mumma is as hard at the core as they come. So I reply, “Really?? Well then, lets see you cry!!”.

With tears threatening to spill over, the tiny tot, with her face flushed with fury screams at me, “Mujhe daanti?? Mai ro-oon?? Mai ro-oon?? Kaiko mujhe daanti haan?? Kaiko daanti?? Mujhe daant-ti tu!!! ……………………….”

This outrage continues to spill forth unless and until I take the initiative and ask for forgiveness, which includes holding my ears and making a sorry face (complete with pouty lips!!)

4) Then there’s this by now famous quote from Lui which has reached all the neighbours and relatives alike. They all guffaw when they hear her saying that.

Mera nai sunti?!! Nooool!!” . That “Nool” part is specifically reserved for her to express her anger at her mother 😦

That is how my daughter scolds me if I don’t abide by her whims and fancies the second it leaves her mouth.

I told the MIL the other day, that there was something lacking in her portrayal of an MIL that my daughter has come to fulfill.

And make my life miserable in the bargain 😦



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Click on the image for better view.

I couldn't have expressed it better



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