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Archive for June 14th, 2011

I AM FAT

No, no. Don’t say anything on the contrary. It wouldn’t matter anyway !!

All these years I’ve been rather lax about myself. Frankly, I haven’t put in an iota of effort to make myself look presentable. So if my hair are wayward, I just use a clutch clip and tie my hair in a bun. I don’t take the effort to use a brush and tame the tresses. I wear mismatched shoes with my suits and barely bother with accessories. I haven’t had a facial in ages and believe it or not, have never had a manicure done. Appearance for me, was superficial. It didn’t matter how I looked. I was happy with my state, so was the BF. As for the twins, well, they haven’t ever really called me ‘beyootiphul’, but their sentiments are somewhere close to that word 🙂

I piled on around 20kgs when I was carrying the twins. I lost about 10 of it. The remaining 10 are still hanging on, as strong and cohesive as the hair on my head or the teeth in my mouth. Err…on second thoughts, not really, given that the hair are falling off faster than you can say, Shikakai!! and the teeth are already showing signs of mutiny.

Anyhow, fact of the matter is that the fat clings on to me like a second skin,ummm..actually under the real skin, that is. In the last couple of years, I’ve almost got used to the excess weight I lug around. So what if I have to tell the tailor to add a couple of inches to my new clothes, so what if my feet don’t fit into my wedding sandals, so what if my bangles seem too tight for my wrists (I don’t really like bangles that much!)?! I was happy because I was still the most prettiest looking wife in my hubby’s eyes. Or so I thought 😦

Until last Sunday, when the BF sat me down for a heart-to-heart.

He confessed that till date he continued to ignore my expanding girth because he could see how hectic my life was. With a job, family needs and two kids to look after, he could understand my lack of time to exercise.

But not anymore!!

Since we have a nanny to care for the kids during the day, a cook who comes twice a day, another maid to tend to washing and mopping, there was no reason why I couldn’t spend at least 5 minuets a day doing at least some exercise. This is just the crux of all that he said, albeit put forward in a very discreet manner. The BF was not so discreet. No siree…..he was full of accusations and bad forebodings. He accused me of not thinking about the twins and their future. He spoke of people he knew who suffered a cardiac arrest at the age of 25!! He begged me to stay alive and healthy long enough to get our kids settled. He confessed he could never bring them up alone. He also said that he was sure his words fell on deaf ears and he would never see any effort from my side!

Suffice to say, I was a sobbing heap of humanity by the time he was done. I could see myself the way the world sees me. Well-fed, overgrown and sticking out from all the wrong angles 😦 . I realized that I’ve been taking the lift to my second floor house and also doing the same at work. I realized that I’ve had a major craving for all things oily, sweet and starchy. I’ve been binging recently and the results are showing. Reality came crashing down and with it, a strong desire to prove the BF wrong.

I think the arrow that stuck me the hardest was the one about the kids, of them needing me and me not being around to fulfill their needs. Hoo boy!! If he had taken a club and socked me on the head, it would have hurt less  😐

Anyhow, I pledged that from henceforth, I should aim to lose at least 0.5 kgs per month (don’t you dare laugh at my target!!). To achieve my aim, I have started getting up half an hour earlier and spending 15 minutes working out (if you can call it that!). 10 minutes on the exercycle , 5 minutes of squats. This is for starters ….planning on increasing the time as the week progresses. There has been a slight change in meal plans too. I’m having loads of water and fibre and cutting down the carbs after sunset. I can’t really go off dinner, but I’ll be having either rice OR chapatis, instead of both. The portions are reduced too.

Frankly, my enthusiasm for weight loss is fading fast (as it usually does). Just when I should be thinking of these :-

I end up dreaming of this –

Sinful, I know 😦

*Images sourced from Google images

The going’s tough, but I guess I’m tough enough to get going. The only problem is, like all my earlier fads, I guess this one will go out of the window pretty soon. I know the BF will be around to remind me time and again, but how soon will it be before I turn a deaf ear to him, how soon before his words don’t hurt me anymore to make a difference 😐 ?!!

See? Thats the pessimist in me talking!! Thats why I see no way out for my weight issues 😦

Anyhow, to all my blog friends, if you could kindly take an interest and ask about my weight now and again, say maybe , once a month, I’ll be shamed enough into working out and giving you the updated figures 😀 . I’m the kinds who needs loads of motivation to do something 😦

So what say folks?? Will you guys help me through??



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