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Archive for June, 2011

Things have been a wee bit morose on the MomOfRS blog lately…..so here’s some lighthearted reading for today  🙂

After a long time, I found something funny in my inbox. Sharing it with you all –

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The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his  life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s licence in the wallet of every husband or boyfriend.

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here’s my pay packet.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

******************

Am taking a printout for the BF right now 😀



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………….kept me away from blogging these last few days.

Though I have loads to share about the twins and their time at school, somehow, I’m unable to come out of the gloom and do those posts.

It doesn’t help that the lady who died was a gentle soul, much loved by all. She was too young to die, we think (Is 41 too young or old enough? Who decides?). It hurt  more that she died alone, with no family member around her. Her husband was out at work and her son was out with his friends. She did have low blood pressure once in a while, but it was not serious enough for her to take daily medication. When it struck her this time, she passed out and possibly knocked her head against a wall. She lay there for hours before the husband and son returned and broke down the front door. Though she was rushed to the hospital, it was already too late. We got the news early in the morning last Friday. Since then, there have been loads of tears spent and much consolation given, to the bereaved children as well as the uncle. They were a tightly knit family, maybe that’s why her dying alone has shocked and upset the family so much.

The timing was plain misfortune. OR it was just Allah’s will.

Whatever the case, may her soul rest in peace. 

PS : On a side note, I bathed a corpse for the first time. Nothing, and I mean nothing can ever prepare you for death than seeing one dead. The cold cold body, the stiff hands and legs which will never move, the eyes which will never flutter open, how much ever you will them to, the mouth that will never smile again….gone for ever, never to return.

Makes one think of all that one wants to do before the final call comes, to have lived without regrets, to have loved and be loved in return. Makes me think harder about being around for the twins. I may have joked about my diet plans earlier, but I guess this incident has just hardened my resolve. I have to be around for my children…..at least as long as I physically can.



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Guess Where We Are Off To ??

Packed up and ready to go.

Okay, so thats didn’t come out right.

 How about if we smile for you all??

Say cheese 🙂

There, thats better, isn’t it??

 

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The twins started school 😐

Please give me some time to wipe my tears before I do a post on this humongous turn of events.



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I AM FAT

No, no. Don’t say anything on the contrary. It wouldn’t matter anyway !!

All these years I’ve been rather lax about myself. Frankly, I haven’t put in an iota of effort to make myself look presentable. So if my hair are wayward, I just use a clutch clip and tie my hair in a bun. I don’t take the effort to use a brush and tame the tresses. I wear mismatched shoes with my suits and barely bother with accessories. I haven’t had a facial in ages and believe it or not, have never had a manicure done. Appearance for me, was superficial. It didn’t matter how I looked. I was happy with my state, so was the BF. As for the twins, well, they haven’t ever really called me ‘beyootiphul’, but their sentiments are somewhere close to that word 🙂

I piled on around 20kgs when I was carrying the twins. I lost about 10 of it. The remaining 10 are still hanging on, as strong and cohesive as the hair on my head or the teeth in my mouth. Err…on second thoughts, not really, given that the hair are falling off faster than you can say, Shikakai!! and the teeth are already showing signs of mutiny.

Anyhow, fact of the matter is that the fat clings on to me like a second skin,ummm..actually under the real skin, that is. In the last couple of years, I’ve almost got used to the excess weight I lug around. So what if I have to tell the tailor to add a couple of inches to my new clothes, so what if my feet don’t fit into my wedding sandals, so what if my bangles seem too tight for my wrists (I don’t really like bangles that much!)?! I was happy because I was still the most prettiest looking wife in my hubby’s eyes. Or so I thought 😦

Until last Sunday, when the BF sat me down for a heart-to-heart.

He confessed that till date he continued to ignore my expanding girth because he could see how hectic my life was. With a job, family needs and two kids to look after, he could understand my lack of time to exercise.

But not anymore!!

Since we have a nanny to care for the kids during the day, a cook who comes twice a day, another maid to tend to washing and mopping, there was no reason why I couldn’t spend at least 5 minuets a day doing at least some exercise. This is just the crux of all that he said, albeit put forward in a very discreet manner. The BF was not so discreet. No siree…..he was full of accusations and bad forebodings. He accused me of not thinking about the twins and their future. He spoke of people he knew who suffered a cardiac arrest at the age of 25!! He begged me to stay alive and healthy long enough to get our kids settled. He confessed he could never bring them up alone. He also said that he was sure his words fell on deaf ears and he would never see any effort from my side!

Suffice to say, I was a sobbing heap of humanity by the time he was done. I could see myself the way the world sees me. Well-fed, overgrown and sticking out from all the wrong angles 😦 . I realized that I’ve been taking the lift to my second floor house and also doing the same at work. I realized that I’ve had a major craving for all things oily, sweet and starchy. I’ve been binging recently and the results are showing. Reality came crashing down and with it, a strong desire to prove the BF wrong.

I think the arrow that stuck me the hardest was the one about the kids, of them needing me and me not being around to fulfill their needs. Hoo boy!! If he had taken a club and socked me on the head, it would have hurt less  😐

Anyhow, I pledged that from henceforth, I should aim to lose at least 0.5 kgs per month (don’t you dare laugh at my target!!). To achieve my aim, I have started getting up half an hour earlier and spending 15 minutes working out (if you can call it that!). 10 minutes on the exercycle , 5 minutes of squats. This is for starters ….planning on increasing the time as the week progresses. There has been a slight change in meal plans too. I’m having loads of water and fibre and cutting down the carbs after sunset. I can’t really go off dinner, but I’ll be having either rice OR chapatis, instead of both. The portions are reduced too.

Frankly, my enthusiasm for weight loss is fading fast (as it usually does). Just when I should be thinking of these :-

I end up dreaming of this –

Sinful, I know 😦

*Images sourced from Google images

The going’s tough, but I guess I’m tough enough to get going. The only problem is, like all my earlier fads, I guess this one will go out of the window pretty soon. I know the BF will be around to remind me time and again, but how soon will it be before I turn a deaf ear to him, how soon before his words don’t hurt me anymore to make a difference 😐 ?!!

See? Thats the pessimist in me talking!! Thats why I see no way out for my weight issues 😦

Anyhow, to all my blog friends, if you could kindly take an interest and ask about my weight now and again, say maybe , once a month, I’ll be shamed enough into working out and giving you the updated figures 😀 . I’m the kinds who needs loads of motivation to do something 😦

So what say folks?? Will you guys help me through??



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Hello All, welcome to a new week, a week of schools reopening, diet regimes and exercise programs (the last two are strictly for me 😐 ). As usual, I had a hectic weekend, what with the usual weekend washings, cleaning, shopping, cooking and minding guests. As usual, its taken me the better half of Monday to accept the fact that the weekend is over and there is WORK to do 😦 (I’m still recuperating from the weekend hangover. For the record, I LOVE Mondays, because I get to come to office, which means I get to sit in one place instead of running myself ragged all around the house)

Anyhow, this weekend has been an eye-opener in many ways. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is always best to get professional help than solely relying on relatives, I’ve realized that its time to give the regular maid the boot, I’ve realized that it takes my kids about an hour’s time at the max to do permanent damage to their new school gear, I’ve realized that it hurts real bad to see my itty-bitty little kids dressed to go to school and I’ve realized that its time I overcame my complacent behavior and stood up to my in-laws when I feel they are not right. I’ve realized that my hubby might love me till the end of time, but he loves his family even more than that.  However ugly these home-truths might be, there are times when they have to be faced! And by jove, I’m slowly heading that way right now!!

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I went school-stuff hunting.

*Sniff* My babies have grown up *sob sob*

So I bought two identical bags, two identical lunch boxes, two identical water bottles and two identical rain coats. Perfect 🙂 . Don’t want these two hankering over one colour that the other has! Believe me, I’ve found that it’s always wise to give the two of them identical stuff. So even if they swap, we’re good 🙂

But like I said above, one of life’s lessons that I’ve learnt is that one should NEVER disclose new stuff to kids before the school starts. This is because the twins have collectively managed to damage one school bag and break the strap of one water bottle. And the school hasn’t even started yet!! To boot, since I was feeling generous, I bought them both two magnetic writing boards. The slider of one and the metal tip of the pen of the other has been broken off . Generosity can take a hike, I say. These brats deserve nothing 😐

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The twins looked adorable, their bags slung over the shoulders, bottles around their necks and cheeky grins in place. I admit I was all teary-eyed. The twins were super happy and refused to remove their bags. And I admit, they must have drunk a week’s supply of water from their new bottles 🙄 . Looks like they are all set for the 15th of this month when the school starts. Thats when the real rolling-on-the-floor-bawling will begin . And oh, I’m talking about me and NOT the kids. Just saying 🙂

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The BF’s aunt was staying with us for the last 4 months, helping us tend to the GMIL. Well, the aunt lately developed a blockage in her bladder and had to undergo surgery herself. This was last Friday. So as of now, we have two patients to look after. The MIL is planning on extending her summer vacation till the time the aunt gets well.

Life’s just getting more and more interesting!!

(Not to say, tiring 😦 )

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I had a chat with the doctor who comes in everyday to change the GMIL’s dressing. He was very forthright and practical and said that GMIL’s condition will take a very long time to heal. Maybe years.

Its been rather depressing around the house lately. There are questions mounting over questions. We can’t keep the aunt with us indefinitely. She has her own household to get back to. The MIL is now facing the tough question of taking premature retirement. I know she loves her job and it would kill her to stay at home full time. We could keep a nurse surely, but then we would need at least two of them to keep GMIL company 24/7 . The hunt for the nurses is on, but in case we aren’t able to get them, the MIL will likely quit. It doesn’t help that my two MILs just barely tolerate each other 😦

Like I said before, Life’s just getting more and more interesting !!

—————–

I had my first disagreement with the FIL. In fact, I did have the same issues before too, but lately, I find his arguments unreasonable. Frankly, I haven’t spoken to him about it yet. I doubt I ever will.

Anyhow, the issue is that my daughter is turning into a brat by the day. She has very strong vocal chords and doesn’t mind using them when she’s in one of her tantrums. As a result, if we don’t bow to her wishes, she immediately starts to bring the roof down. Now I’m a very practical person, I know that she will cry for some time and then realizing that it leads her nowhere, will make her toe the line. I don’t pamper my kids with their demands if they cry or howl, instead, I insist that they ask politely and if refused, learn to take it in the right way.

The problem is, when the FIL is home, he is severely disturbed by Lui’s crying. The minute she raises her voice, he immediately tells us to give in to her demands. Many times, I’ve tried reasoning with him that this will just spoil her further. But the FIL says he gets a headache when she cries so when he’s home, we should simply do anything and everything to make her stop.

Lui, being clever along with being vocal, has caught on to this trend. So she saves her worst tantrums for the time when the FIL is home. All my disciplining goes down the drain because he always asks us to bow down to her. The cunning little girl makes sure now that if I don’t, she will enter her grandfather’s room and start howling, making sure to elicit a response from her dada.

I really have no clue how to handle this situation. The MIL, being reasonable , has tried to intervene and let the FIL know that Lui is getting spoilt by his behavior. He brushes it off with a “discipline her some other time, just make her stop now”. The BF does not get into any argument with his father over the twins, so its unlikely that my FIL will ever change. My only hope rests on the MIL, but then, I can’t really talk to her about this without making her feel that I’m hurling accusations at her husband.

One tricky situation I’m in, I guess.

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I’ve decided that the regular maid has to go. She just has to go. In a period of 6 months, she has worked for about 3 months approximately. Not a good record I say, specially when you have an ailing granny and working women at home. We rely on her to ease some of our work and if she fails doing that, I guess we should give her the boot. The MIL has never deducted the maid’s salary for the missing days, citing her poverty issues. But if the poor themselves aren’t concerned where their next meal will come from, do we need bother??

———————

Sometimes, one should trust the critics and stay away from certain movies. Stay far, far away. And when you don’t, be prepared for a foul mood.

I saw “Thank You”.

That is something the director will never hear from my lips!!

And oh, I also saw “Dum Maro Dum” the previous evening. Is it a coincidence that Vidya Balan plays the deceased-wife’s-cameo-role in both the movies or does she like making those 2-min appearances where she gets to simper at the screen and then play dead? Believe me, her role in both the movies was so identical, it almost gave me goosebumps 😀

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The BF loves me to no end. Frankly, I don’t know where the end is, but I know that he loves his family beyond my end. In fact, right this minute I should be on a “Maun Vrat” and refuse to talk to him, but since I know he didn’t mean any harm and can be rather daft at times, I forgive him.

Anyway, the background first. After a looong time, the BF took some time out yesterday to take me and the kids on a long drive. We didn’t really have any particular destination in mind, but since the weather was wonderful, it seemed a crime to stay indoors 🙂

While we were leaving, the MIL suggested that we have dinner out (she being the kind understanding type of woman who knows her DIL craves for some private time with the husband. God bless her ). We left, drove around some, checked out the fast-growing outskirts of the city which were nothing but fields a couple of years back. The BF asked me about dinner. I told him to head anywhere. So he told me about this restaurant which served some amazing dishes and we agreed to go there. I was SO looking forward to some quality time with the hubs and the kids. Its been ages since we could get away from the home for dinner.

Halfway to the venue, the BF calls up his brother and asks for his whereabouts. The BIL had a working day yesterday and was still some distance from home. So the BF took a detour and retraced back home, to pick up his brother for dinner.

This is when I should have kicked a storm and threatened to leave the brothers to dine alone. But I didn’t. If I had, it would have ruined the mood of the evening for everyone. The weather was far too perfect to do that 😀

Suffice to say, the Hubby considers me as so integral to his family that it never occurred to him that I might object. His gentle assumption that I look forward to a meal with his brother as much as he does, is at once humbling as it is confounding!! I guess the poor BIL realized it too, seeing that he quickly gobbled his meal and left the restaurant with the fidgety twins to give me and the BF some privacy.

Everyone in the family realizes my need for time with my husband,expect the said husband himself!!

Where does that leave me then?!

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My earliest memories of MF Hussain are those of pointing to the television set excitedly and calling out to Mom, “Mummaaa…woh dekho, Nanajaan”.

Mom would laugh and say, “Woh Nanajaan nahin hai, woh hain MF Hussain. Artist hain”.

(For an 8-year-old, the world “Artist” didn’t carry much meaning. At least back then 🙂 . Now, I can identify an MF Hussain painting just by the strong brush strokes. And horses, of, course 😀 )

My Nana look-alike

But what did strike me was the striking resemblance between the barefoot painter and my much loved Nanajaan. Both shared the same sharp nose, the elegant white beard and the mop of silver hair. The only difference ever, was that where MF was lean, full of angles, my Nanajaan was portly, full of curves 🙂 . But everytime I saw the artist on television or in print, it always seemed as if I’m looking at my grandfather. The images brought a sharper pang after Nanajaan expired in 2003. For some reason, I always associated MF with my grandfather. So when MF was exiled, I felt hurt, because I put my grandfather in his shoes and wondered how pained he, the G’pa would be at leaving his beloved land. I remember following the cases that flew fast against the artist, reading up on the accusations and the verdicts. At one time, there was even the disclosure that the title, “Bharat Mata”  was never given by MF for his painting. But I guess people hurling accusations at him were too full of righteous indignation to hear him. Even the Delhi High Court held the view that, “A painter at 90 deserves to be in his home — painting his canvass.”

Right now, I wonder what people like Dwaipayan Vyankateshacharya Warkhedkar would do, now that their life’s purpose and the object of their 15-minutes of fame has passed away!! MF is no more, the painting is still owned by some private collector and if sold tomorrow, will fetch even twice its original selling amount.

Whatever be the case, truth is that India didn’t do justice to one of its citizens, one who brought far more recognition for his country than the likes of Mr. Wardhekar above. And that, is our biggest loss.

R.I.P MF Sir. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you. And a prayer.



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Its been 4 months plus since the GMIL fell down and broke her hip.

And its been 4 months of constant worries, hectic schedules and mounting expenses. The expense part we can handle, but the worries and the hectic schedules (because of the absconding maids) have taken a toll on our patience. Everyone at home is snappy, ready to bite the others head off. But still, we haven’t had any major stand-offs yet 😀

In all this rigmarole, the one constant niggling irritant is the onslaught of the house-guests.

GMIL, God bless her, has a very loving influence on people who know her (except, *ahem* a couple of us). Since the day she fell down, there is no dearth of visitors to our place. People walk in at all odd times of the day and night. Not that we mind, they are family after all, as the MIL puts it.

The Family. Yes, we are that kind of family you know,the ones having  a centrally located house, the main elder couple having ALL their relatives in the same city, the kind of house, which is everyone’s favorite go-to place when its vacation time. So with GMIL unwell, we had all the more reason for people dropping by when their heart so desired.  We never mind the people who drop by, spend time with the granny and then leave. It’s the house-guests who grate on our nerves.

Anyone seen “Atithi tum kab jaoge“?? Well,we did a long time back. But then, we laughed it off. Not anymore. Not when we have people who come to visit, stay back and then make themselves at home with no consideration for the hosts. Going through the trauma of the last few months, here’s my checklist for what a house-guest should NOT do.

(PS: Some of it might come out with a severe vengeance, so just ignore 😀 . Solpa adjust madi)

House-guests of the world, listen up and listen sharp. Follow the rules and you’ll have a happy trip. Break them and we’ll make sure we slowly but surely break ties with you . You’ve been warned !!

Rule 1 :- Thou shalt not drop in unannounced.

Its okay if you just want to drop by for a quick hello. However hurried we might be, we’ll still make time to attend to you and stay back and chat. But it’s NOT okay if you plan to stay over for a couple of days, bring along your family , or worse, YOUR friends and expect us to host you till you deem fit to return. The least you can do to reduce our woes is to have the decency and courtesy to give a call beforehand and inform us about your plans.

This is someone’s home, not your all-expense-paid hotel where you can walk in anytime !!

Rule 2 :- When staying at other people’s houses, respect their privacy.

I know this is impossible when your hosts have a small house and hand over their bedroom to you. Even then, if you see anyone in the host family talking on the phone, don’t immediately ask whose call it was. Its none of your business. Also, if you see a couple sitting together late at night and catching up on the days activities, don’t interrupt them to remind that its late and they have to report for work the next day. Believe me, they are ADULTS. They KNOW.

Also, remember to knock on closed doors before barging in. Never forget, this is NOT your house!!

Rule 3 :- If you have a medical problem, its YOUR problem.

You have a heart problem and ‘forgot’ to get your pills? You suffer from diabetes and your medication runs out just as you step into our house? You stay here for a day and start having severe cramps in your legs? Alright, then I would suggest you take the lift to the ground floor and BUY your medication from the chemist store there. Don’t just ask the hosts to get them because ‘its on your way out’.  It’s not. The chemist store is at the ground floor and we take the lift to the basement parking. Also, your medication might cost a mountain, but we are too decent to ask you back for the money.

Or is that your intention after all?!!

Rule 4 :- Respect your hosts time.

YOU are on vacation. YOU have the whole day to yourself. YOU can do what you want throughout the day. Your hosts don’t have this liberty. So when you know that people have to leave for work, don’t barge into the bathroom and take your own sweet time for taking a bath. You can test all the shampoos and soaps AFTER we leave. Believe me , we don’t mind. But we do mind when we are running late for work but you INSIST that you HAVE to take a bath before 8AM because that’s the rule you follow at your place.

Like I said before , NEVER forget, this is NOT your home.

Rule 5 :- Never bring YOUR house-rules to our house.

So you add milk to tea while boiling and not afterwards? Methi leaves should be cooked with a handful of garlic cloves? Curtains and bed-sheets are ironed after every wash? You make sure the house is swept before 7 AM? Well, good for you. Now if you’ll please excuse me , I’ll reiterate once again, THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME. So stop trying to make us follow your house rules. WE don’t mind if our house is unswept until 11AM. WE don’t iron our curtains, we don’t have the time for it. And we like Methi just the way WE make it. If you don’t like it, take it or lump it. But don’t expect us to bend backwards and do stuff the way it is done in your house. By the way, does that give you a hint as to why WE never visit your place?

Also, if we turned our house into a duplicate of your’s , would you visit us? But then again, for the free food, maybe you will.

*Whew*

I think I can go on venting steam here. I’m yet to cover the bratty kids who love opening other people’s cupboards or over-zealous women who refuse to come out of the kitchen, or the ‘forever-in-Gyaan-Giving-mood’ people who make you sit down and listen to them dispensing advise on how we can make our lives better. Thanks, but NO thanks. Our life is just perfect and thats one reason you drop by here so often!!

The weekend’s drawing closer and I’m already gearing up for the onslaught of more visitors. I think our prayer’s for Granny’s recovery are reaching a fevered pitch 😐

Gotta charge up the mood batteries and make sure I’m able to smile through my anger.

Till then,

Ciao.



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