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Archive for July, 2011

Update on the Bride-Hunting

Apropos to this post, I’m disheartened to say that the alliance did not work out!

Apparently, the prospective groom was two years younger to the prospective bride 😐  (Frankly speaking, the MIL and the aunt did not see this as a hindrance, but the girl’s father was adamant that he wanted someone older for his girl 😦 )

I wish the parents from both sides had checked the bio-data before the actual meeting (and saved me the trauma 😐 ) . The MIL still has eyes on the girl (for the BIL), but once again, the father is adamant that he wants only a doctor for his girl. This man, I tell you!! Whew! He tests my patience!!

I’ve vowed never to go bride-hunting again. I mean, here I was, my heart going out to this pretty young thing, already planning on bonding with her and taking her out shopping, and then this rude awakening that she wouldn’t be coming into our family 😦 What a sad loss!!

I’ve already told the BIL to hunt for a wife himself. I’m absolving myself of all bride-hunting duties henceforth.



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Social Media Explained

A day after this post from Ritu, I got this image in a mail :-

 

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That sums it all, doesn’t it?

(And also explains why I’m not that active on any of these sites 😀 )



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Jokes Of Another Era

Came across these jokes some time back. It was in the context of changing ‘joke-trends’, about how the jokes have evolved over the ages. These are the jokes from early 1900. I enjoyed them, hope you do too 🙂

PS: They might not be rip-roaring funny, but they are definitely in good taste 🙂

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The father of a certain charming girl is well known in this town as “a very tight old gentleman.” When dad recently received a young man, who for some time had been “paying attention” to the daughter, it was the old gentleman who made the first observation:

“Huh! So you want to marry my daughter, eh?”

“Yes, sir; very much, indeed.”

“Um–let me see. Can you support her in the style to which she has been accustomed?”

“I can, sir,” said the young man, “but I am not mean enough to do it.”

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This is the way the agent got a lesson in manners. He called at a business office, and saw nobody but a prepossessing though capable-appearing young woman.

“Where’s the boss?” he asked abruptly.

“What is your business?” she asked politely.

“None of yours!” he snapped. “I got a proposition to lay before this firm, and I want to talk to somebody about it.”

“And you would rather talk to a gentleman?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” answered the lady, smiling sweetly, “so would I. But it seems that it’s impossible for either one of us to have our wish, so we’ll have to make the best of it. State your business, please!”

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Alderman Curran, of New York City, worked his way through Yale College. During his course he was kept very busy by the various jobs he did to help with his expenses. On graduation he went to New York, and was even busier than he had been in New Haven.

After some months of life in New York, a friend met him and said,”Henry, what are you doing?”

“I have three jobs,” replied Mr. Curran, “I am studying law, I am a newspaper reporter, and I am selling life insurance.”

“How do you manage to get it all in?” said the friend.

“Oh,” replied Mr Curran, “that’s easy enough. They’re only eight-hour jobs.”

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A bellhop passed through the hall of the St. Francis Hotel whistling loudly.

“Young man,” said Manager Woods sternly, “you should know that it is against the rules of this hotel for an employee to whistle while on duty.”

“I am not whistling, sir,” replied the boy, “I’m paging Mrs. Jones’s dog.”

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“Excuse me,” began the visitor, who was more or less visibly embarrassed; “but—my name is Tompkins! Er—did—er—my wife—er—leave an order here for cigars, to be delivered to my home on—er—Christmas Eve?”

“Tompkins?” said the cigar man. “Just one minute! D. B. Tompkins? Yes, sir. One hundred flor de Hobokianos! Price, $2.50! Ordered banded in red and gold and a card enclosed, with the felicitations of Mrs. D. B. Tompkins!”

“Exactly! Well, I’m D. B. Tompkins. Now, I’ll tell you what I’d like you to do. You take those red-and-gold-banded stinkarees my wife ordered and hand them to some fireworks man to be utilized as punk along about the Fourth of next July. Use the box thus provided for a hundred good, clear Havanas at about $9.50. I’ll pay the difference! Understand? And in the meantime—mum—‘M-U-M’—is the word! Do you get me?”

“I’m wise in a second!” replied the cigar man. “What you want me to do is to take the present incumbents of the box ordered by Mrs. Tompkins out on the hillside somewhere and bury them deep down in the yawning sod. In their places you want a practical smoking cigar of the kind that is usually sold without an accident policy! And you stand ready to pay the difference!”

“Precisely!”

Tompkins handed over a greenback and received his change.

The cigar man smiled appreciatively.

On Christmas Day Tompkins opened the box and abstracted therefrom a good, big, black Havana.

“You seem to enjoy that cigar,” suggested Mrs. Tompkins, as he blew rings of soft blue curling smoke at the chandelier.

“Enjoy them?” echoed Tompkins. “Why, they’re simply delicious!”

Mrs. Tompkins purred her delight at this wholly unexpected tribute.

“And yet,” said she musingly, “there are men who are mean enough to say that a woman doesn’t know anything about buying cigars!”

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Charming, aren’t they? 🙂

How sad it is that we now delight in jokes that are openly double-meaning and full of profanity 😦 , not to mention, the distinct lack of grammar and deplorable choice of words!!

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to hunt for the link where these came from. If you find them, do let me know 🙂



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I’ve been having a tough time coming up with something to post today 😦

Not that I have blog-writer’s block or anything …… its just that a pup in our society is missing!

Okay, that didn’t make sense. As usual, I threw up the middle part without the prologue. My mistake.

There is a stray bitch who has made permanent residence in our society (Do I need to replace the ‘bitch’ with ‘female dog’ ?!) . The neighbors below us take care of her. They give her milk and chapatis and though she messes our stairway, no one really minds it. The dog is very gentle and I’ve never known her to bark let alone bite. A couple of months back, she had a litter of 3-4 pups. But for the last month, there were only two of them around her.

These two little pups used to frolic all over the place, prancing around the kids playing in the parking area, fighting for food , playfully nipping and biting at each other 🙂 . Every time I looked at them, they reminded me of the twins (There is something very similar between babies of all species. They are all super cute 😀 ) . Even when the pups jumped over the lazy momma, I was reminded of how the twins clamber all over me and the way we three roll about on the bed 😀

For the last few days though, there is only one little pup who roams silently around. The momma doesn’t pay him much attention and neither does he. I dread to wonder what happened to his sibling 😦 . The worst part is that the pup has lost all the playfulness it had before. Now it just sits in one corner and sulks (or mopes). It is heart-wrenching, because like always , I hold them synonymous with the twins. Just the fragment of a possibility that one of the twins may not be with me is enough to drive me crazy with worry and anguish! I dare not look into the pups face, which is so forlorn, I swear I will break down and cry some day. Animals have their feelings too, I guess. Could there be any other reason for the little pup to miss his brother?

It’s a shame that there are so many mongrels who go homeless. I wonder why they are called ‘street-dogs’ , because when trained, they are as good and faithful as pedigree ones. The downstairs neighbours do their bit of good for them, maybe that’s why no one protests the littering . Unfortunately, none of the other families (including mine) are keen on tending to dogs as pets (cats will do). A pity, that.

On that note, I’d like to make a small request to people interested in pups. Pallu has a few pups up for sale . They are Dalmatians and absolutely adorable 🙂 . I wonder how she manages to look after the bunch, including their parents (the pup’s that is. Not Pallu’s 😀 ) . People in Pune/Mumbai, do contact her if you (or anyone else you know) is interested in them.

Hope we all have it in us to care of creatures other than humans.

(I’ll start with plants first 😐 )

 


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Hello all. As usual, this Monday, I’m all peppy and fired up 🙂 (long time readers will know why 😉 )

The only dark cloud looming over my head is the twin’s illness 😦 . Actually, since the GMIL fell down and fractured her hip (back in Jan this year), the twins have been good as gold. Since both me and the MIL were busy tending to the granny, we never realized that for the last 6 months plus, the twins never fell ill even once!! I mean, no colds, no coughs and no fevers. It was almost as though they were living a charmed life (Alhamdulillah). The charm still runs on I guess, because the fever is not too high . Blocked nose and slight cough nothing that a dose of crocin syrup and nose drops cannot help. Given the measly weather, I doubt they could have fought the viruses any longer anyway. I gave them an off from school today and even went to the school to let the teachers know that the twins wouldn’t be coming today. They told me to send them back only after the two are completely well. Hmmm……looks like the two will be at home right through this week !

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The GMIL is doing well (Alhamdulillah again 😀 ). The fat necrosis has reduced considerably and going by the amount that is secreted recently, we can safely say that it is a just a matter of a few weeks before her stitches heal completely. Once that happens ,I believe, she will have more energy and strength for getting up and walking around. The walking is a must, but granny is loath to do it as she feels weak and tired all the time.  Hopefully, once her wound is better, she will feel a tad more positive than she does now 🙂

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The aunt’s doing well too, though her problem persists. Alas, her diagnosis points to a back injury which took place nearly 25 years back and caused some problem with the signals sent to her brain from her lower body. This is a neurological problem and requires surgery. Unfortunately, neither the aunt or anyone in her family is convinced as to the success of such an operation. Till the time they are , I guess she has no option but to suffer the catheter 😦

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I did a mean thing this Saturday. I still feel bad about it, but I guess it was much-needed.

I’ll give the background first – The nanny is getting unreliable by the day. Since the twins started school, she has very little to do. Me and the MIL make sure we get the kids ready for school in the morning, so this girl happily saunters in around 12 noon.  She picks up the kids at 1 pm, feeds them and then puts them to sleep. After that, she washes a few clothes of the kids, has lunch and goes off to sleep herself. By 5 pm, all of them get up. She feeds the twins their milk and biscuits and just minds over them till 7 pm. After that she leaves.In all, her actual ‘work’ takes up only about 3-4 hours at the most.Yet, we never bothered to deduct her salary even though we were doing the work she was initially paid to do (like bathing the twins and feeding them breakfast). Earlier, when the twins were younger, there used to be a bucket load of washing to do, but slowly, as we potty-train them, there are hardly a few soiled clothes which need washing and even then, she prefers to dump them in the washing machine instead of hand-washing them. We don’t complain. If some clothes don’t come out clean, I put them back for washing.

The one thing that we have asked her to do is be punctual. And that is exactly the one thing she doesn’t do. She gets to sleep at our place, so she doesn’t sleep early at night. She watches television late into the night and then gets up around 10 am. When she does, she calls to say that she’ll be late (whats new!) and then finally turns up at the house by 11 or 11:30. Sometimes, even later than that.

When the GMIL was well, we never bothered with the delays. But since the GMIL herself is bed-ridden, whom should I rely on for those hours between the time I have to leave for work and when the nanny drops in?? With the school timings, that little problem was solved, but only for weekdays. Weekends were another story! I have asked her repeatedly to come on time on Saturdays because that is the only day I can get my non-official work done (any bank work, meeting people, shopping , etc). Even then, I spend only a couple of hours away from home.

So this Saturday, the nanny wanted a half-day off because it was her best friend’s birthday. I gave her the green signal, but also told her to come in early, as I had some important bank work to do. She promised to come in by 9 AM. And turned up at 11:30. By the time she came in, I was too hopping mad to go out anywhere. So just as she entered, I asked her to pick her bag and walk out. I told her in no uncertain terms that I just didn’t need her that day and that I was unwilling to pay her for just two hour’s of attendance. She started crying then, but I was too fuming mad to melt. Her delays had caused us much grief for the last 6 months, yet we all kept quiet. I guess, on Saturday, the bubble of my patience finally burst and I let her have it. I didn’t yell at her though. I was just sharp and curt. When she insisted on bathing the twins before going, I told her that there was no need for her to do that and I wanted her out of my vision pronto!

Frankly, this side of me surprised me more than the nanny or the other relatives at home (GMIL and her two daughters). I never thought I could ever scold anyone who is not married to me ( 😉 )or is not my offspring 😀 but looks like I can. I felt rotten after she left. I mean, the one reason we keep shut with matters related to her is that she is an orphan. She has no immediate family and since she spends the major part of her time at our house (not to be confused with the actual time she ends up staying, which is far less), we treat her like family. She sits for meals with us, has access to every room, knows exactly where stuff is kept and is treated with love and respect. The problem is when she does not honour that treatment 😦

Anyhow, she left with a heavy heart, I’m sure.

“Don’t worry, she’ll come on time tomorrow”, the MIL reassured me when I told her about my outburst. “I hope so”, I replied.

So this girl comes in at 11:30 am  yesterday.

AAARRGGGHHHH!!!!! 👿

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I saw Delhi Belly yesterday.

And I’m still wondering what the fuss is all about.

Sure, there is profanity. There are some cheap jokes. There are sexual innuendos .

But, I have seen much more than this in regular Hollywood flicks. Maybe, the surprising fact is that a Hindi film, no , an Indian film could get away with it all !! I wasn’t shocked out of my mind or laughing my guts off. But I did have a silly smile throughout, meaning, I enjoyed what I was watching. It helped that the movie was short, because towards the end, it just became a tad tedious (the loose-motions didn’t seem funny after a while ). But overall, it was fun, too much happening too soon for you to dwell on a particular scene. thankfully, there were no breaks 🙂

Don’t think of the movie as path-breaking, or bringing in a new genre. It isn’t. It’s just a movie with loads of cuss words, but nothing new. You’ve heard them all before.

The best part?

Towards the end, when the protagonist realises whom he really loves and dives in (literally) to stake his claim. Witty, crazy and soul-shudderingly romantic! Now that’s how movies are meant to feel 😀

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I made paav-bhaji for lunch yesterday. I made it for the first time by myself and I’m proud to declare that it was finger-lickin’ good 🙂 . So good that the BF took me out for the above movie post-lunch !! Hmm…that saying about the path to a man’s heart being through his tummy isn’t all that wrong after all 😀

Frankly, I’m better at non-veg stuff than veg. I mean, the regular day-to-day food is vegetarian, but when it comes to specialty dishes, I feel I score at non-veg than veg. One can rarely go wrong with chicken or fish. But if not careful, you can totally kill a vegetable 😦 . Cook a tad longer, it becomes pulpy. Cook too less, it is crunchy. Sometimes, the spices may not compliment it, at others, it may not need spices but you end up adding anyway and like I said before, kill it!!

I bow in respect to women who can make classic vegetarian dishes. In fact, I bow to women who can stay vegetarians 😐

I can give up mutton (forever!) and chicken. But seafood makes me weak in the knees. The delectable smell of fried prawns, the crisp covering of batter over soft, succulent surmai, the South-Indian fish-curry in coconut milk….what’s NOT to love?!!

Gosh!! Talking of food just makes me hungry!

Going down to the cafeteria for snacks now. You all take care and have a wonderful week ahead.

Love,



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Foto Friday

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

 What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

What do you get if you cross a Cocker Spaniel with a Poodle and a rooster?

A cockapoodledoo!

What do you get if you cross a daffodil with a crocodile?

I don’t know but I wouldn’t try sniffing it!

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A jump rope.

What would you get if you crossed a giraffe with a rooster?

An animal who wakes up people who live on the top floor.

What do you get if you cross a door with a floor mat?

A Doormatry. No, seriously 😐 

Didn't I tell you so?!!

Forgive me for the bad humour folks. I guess the weekend’s catching up with me 😀

You all have fun.



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Jab Baap Beti Raazi…..

I’m in the drawing room, enjoying a cup of tea with the newspapers, when I hear a loud scream from my bed-room.

Dropping the cup and papers, I rush inside to find Lui sprawled on the bed with her father mock-gnawing at her arm. Lui is screaming in agony, thrashing her legs and the BF refuses to let go. Shobby sits nearby, cheering his father on.

I yell at the BF and order him to let go of Lui’s arm RIGHT NOW!

The BF doesn’t bother to reply to me. He just looks up at his daughter.

Abhi yeh haath“, says the brat, looking up wickedly at her father and extending her other arm to be gnawed at!

Gaah!!

The BF gives me a triumphant look before doing his daughter’s bidding!

This baap-beti jodi will drive me mad one day!!

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