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Archive for August 4th, 2011

The Deceptors

There’s this funny little saying about boys being boys and girls being girls (whatever that means ūüôĄ )

And that funny saying seems to apply to the twins as well! People who know me personally would know that I lament a million times a day that my son should have been the girl and my daughter should have been a boy. All because, these two behave diametrically opposite to what they are ‘supposed to’, you know, like Shobs¬†should be¬†noisy and boisterous and Lui¬†should be shy and coy.

Alas. By virtue of being born to the BF and me (a mad mixture at that) , the twins have inherited some weird traits which go totally against their gender. So my son likes to play in the kitchen with utensils, while my daughter clambers over cupboard shelves to see how  high she can go. My son wails piteously if I so much as yell at him while my daughter yells back louder at me if I try the same stunt with her. My son loves the pretty colours and texture of frocks, my daughter prefers her trousers, my son loves to get his finger nails painted, my daughter prefers digging her fingers into dirt. Clearly, something was wrong somewhere and I used to be on an overdrive of anxiety, worrying if my son will turn into a sissy and my daughter into a brat.

Alas once again. My twins lived up to the reputation of failing their mother. Again and again and again ūüė¶

So here I was , at their school last Saturday, for the parent-teacher meeting (children strictly excluded). We had a long drawn session on what the school expects of the children and of the parents. There was the same old cautioning on sending junk food in their lunch boxes, which I took offence to, because the principal mentioned that such asides are mostly done by working moms!! I mean, how do they even come to such a conclusion?? In my opinion, I think I’ve seen enough working mothers struggling to make sure their ickle¬†apples-of-eyes get the best nutrition possible! I’ve seen working mothers get up half an hour earlier, just so that they can give their children a healthy lunch box. This includes me too. I give the twins a minimum of 4 items in their boxes, unsure of what they would eventually eat. It takes time and effort to set those 4 different items for two separate boxes. I know I put in effort for my children. But to see my efforts being so callously discarded just because I’m a working mother, made me seethe to no end. Anyhow, I’m going off on a tangent here ūüôā Back to the topic.

After the lecture by the Principal, I made my way to the nursery teacher who handles my kids. She greeted me warmly . We got talking and our conversation went something like this :-

Me : I hope my kids are not troubling anyone at school.

Teach : No , not at all. They are very well-behaved.

Me : *gasp*  WHA- ?

Teach : Yeah. They are no trouble at all. In fact , of the three most well-disciplined children in the class, two are your’s ūüôā .

Me : *gulp* Huh?! Aahh…! Errmm….. Actually, I’m¬† the mother of Lui¬†and Shobs (just to clarify in case the Teach got the wrong mother)

Teach : (placid smile in place, as though talking to a mentally challenged person) I know. I’m talking about Lui¬†and Shobs. They are very well-disciplined¬†and well-behaved ūüôā

And that folks, was the first blow of the day! Who would have thunk that the twin-brats would leave their momma gasping like a fish out of water ūüėź !! Speechless, that’s what I was. But – This wasn’t the only blow. More was to come.

Me : Err…thank you for the compliments. But you see, I’m more worried about Shobs. You see, he’s very reserved, barely talks to others. When I ask him at home, who are his friends, or who he has lunch with, he always takes only your name. I’m not sure how he’s getting along with the rest of the class. I’m not worried about Lui. She’s very social.

Teach : I think you got it wrong. Lui¬†is the one who’s reserved and Shobs plays with everyone.

Me : *gasping once again* WHA- ?

Teach : Yeah ūüôā . Shobby¬†mixes well with other children. Its Lui¬†we are worried¬†about, because she barely interacts with other kids. She only needs her brother besides her all the time. We try to keep the two separate, make them sit at different tables at lunch, but Lui pulls her chair next to her brother and insists on sitting only next to him and no one else! We think she’s very shy.

Me : What?? My Lui??  SHY??

Teach : Yes. We are trying to make her mix with other children. There is an improvement from before. We will keep you updated.

And with that, the teacher sashayed off to meet the other parents.

I stood there for eons I think, trying my best to digest the stuff just thrown at me. When I walked out, the BF was worried, looking at my face. I looked stunned, yet I had a stupid smile on my face. He asked me what happened. I told him. Then there were two of us with dumb looks on our faces!

The entire way back home, we tried our best to map what the teacher said with how the kids behave at home. Sadly, the two images just didn’t gel! We couldn’t fathom how exactly the character change took place between home and school! I mean, here was my shy boy at home, who turned out to be¬†the boisterous friendly sort at school. And my noisy, meddling daughter at home, was a recluse of sorts at school! Will wonders ever cease?!

Considering what the teacher said, I think there is nothing we can do. My daughter is never reserved or shy at home, so I don’t know how exactly to work on this said weakness of her’s. Similarly, I don’t know how to make Shobs¬†boisterous at home. At home, Lui¬†rules. She dictates everything that Shobs¬†should do. But at school, it’s a different picture. He’s the leader, she’s the follower!

Tell me folks, do your kids too deceive¬†you like this? Is there anyone out there who is not stumped by their child’s behavior? Let me know….so that I may be able to decide if we are a normal family after all ūüėÄ



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