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Archive for November 16th, 2011

Taking That Step

Thats it. I did it.

Finally asked for release from the project I’m working on. Something which I should have done about a year back, but given the level of procrastination I live in, it took me another year to conclude that working here has given me nothing in terms of experience or exposure (BUT it has given me some valuable friends for which I’ll forever be grateful).

I’ve been working at the client side for two years with no increment, or promotion and with neither of the two visible in the near foreseeable future. My managers back in my company are not here to evaluate my performance. The managers at the client side give their feedback and couldn’t care an iota what my managers do with that feedback. Also, I think I’ve suffered the ignominy of being a ‘contract employee’ for long enough. More of a ‘worker’ maybe. Not that I have anything against workers, but when I see all my efforts going to naught, its time to wake up and face the truth. All work and no pay indeed makes this MomOfRS a really angry employee 😐 . I’ve finally decided to put my foot down and demand what is my right.Jab jaago, tab savera !!

But there is a small niggling doubt at the back of my head which keeps asking me if this is what I want. Not the release. I do want that. I mean the work that I do. I feel happy doing my work…..but not exhilarated at the thought of going to work every morning.  Is the job to blame or the work? Apart from the salary, what value has it added to my life? I spend more hours at work than I’d like to. I come back home exhausted and drained. The work hours, the long drive to/from work and beating the traffic make me more than tired at the end of the day. Even at work, I do something that I’m good at, but not exceptionally so, that I’m irreplaceable. The money it brings in is welcome, but where is the charm?? Did I lose it on the way to my 8+ year career? If yes, why didn’t I realize it before? If not this, then what? What do I do now that I can earn just as much to pay off the loans but still have time to play leap-frog with the twins?

Questions….questions!

(Time for me to take a deep breath )

For now, I’ll just it back and do the work assigned to me. And wait, till I get called back. Once on my own turf, I’ll think, and I mean, really think, what I must do with my life.

As ever, suggestions are most welcome 🙂



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