Archive for December, 2011

Chor Chor!!!

(I had drafted this post last week. Blame it on the hectic routine at work and home because of which I couldn’t publish it earlier. But even so, the mirthful situation remains and still brings a smile to my face each time I recollect it. So read it and have your fun 🙂 )

In other words, Thief!

But I’ll get to that later. First, I’ll reiterate that I’ve been destined to appear in this world to provide a few moments of amusement to the aam junta. My list of Sheesh moments far exceed my happy or sad ones. Blame it on the timing, on the universe, on me 😐

Anyhow, here’s what happened. I used up my lunch hour yesterday to visit a newly opened Big Bazaar branch near my office. I had some urgent shopping to do and though I’ve been planning to do the needful every evening for the last one week, I was unable to. By the time I left office, the only thought in my mind was to rush home. So yesterday was the day I decided to ‘sacrifice’ my lunch hour for this chore.

Once at the store, I had trouble locating the parking, then the entrance and finally, when I was inside, I couldn’t find what I was looking for. I bought a few things and made my way to the billing counters.
Here’s when the fun began!

So out of 25 counters, only 5 were operative.

Of the 5, two had attendants who were grumbling over the loss of their lunch time. They made the customers shuffle between the other queues. Obviously, within minutes, ALL the customers were giving the billing guys an earful or so.

Of the remaining three, two didn’t know how to read the bar-codes .

The last one was a deeply suspicious fanatic with a severely misplaced sense of duty. As fate would have it, it was the last one who attended to me 😐  But before he could prepare my bill, I had enough time to observe him serving the lady in front of me, who had a cart-load of stuff. The lady was in a hurry and was requesting this man ,  lets name him Mr.X, to hurry up.

Mr.X, in order to hurry up, missed out on billing one item. The bag-boy said that the total number of items was ‘x’, where as the system showed the total items as ‘y’. So flustered was Mr.X that he made the bag-boy empty ALL the bags back on the counter and started billing it all over again!!

The lady in question could not believe that she would have to wait for another few minutes for the second round. So angry was she that she picked up only a handful of items and asked him to bill those.  Even then, Mr.X lost his cool over the lady because she didn’t have the exact change! The lady was so ticked off that she swore loudly never to return!

And then…it was my turn.

Out of the 7 items I kept on the counter, one was a 1kg pack of tea with a packet of Maggi noodles taped to it.

Mr. X : (holding the packet in front of me) Yeh kya hai??

Me : (puzzled) Tea 😐

Mr. X : Yeh Maggi kisne diya??

Me : Huh?? Tea ke saath free hai.

Mr.X : Aise kaise free hai?? Aise hi kuchh bhi kaise free de sakte hain??

Me : (Looking hard at the guy) Kaise?? Mujhe kaise pata?? Your store, your offers!!

Mr.X : (rubbing his forehead, wondering what to do with a kleptomaniac like me) Aise kaise Maggi de diya. Ab dono items ko bill karunga.

Me : HEY!!! Woh Maggi FREE hai!!

By this time, the guy standing behind me started losing his cool too.

Mr.Guy : Dekhiye bhaisaheb, Maggi ke packet ke saath kabhi bhi chai free nahin milti.

Mr.X : ( looking blankly at Mr.Guy) Huh?

Mr.Guy : (realizing he was talking to an imbecile, took a patronizing tone ) Chai bahut mehengi hoti ha na, isliye.

At this, all the people in the queues burst out laughing. But Mr.X was not convinced.

Mr.X : (who still wasn’t convinced) Manager ko bulata hoon. Woh decide karenge.

Me : 🙄

Mr.Guy : 🙄

All Customers : 🙄

Me : Aapko lagta hai mai purse mein cellotape lekar phirti hoon ?!!

Mr.X : (with a shrug and eyeing my purse) Kya pata

Me : WHAT??!!

And I flung my purse on the counter for him to have a look. Though indignant myself, I marveled at the guy’s sense of duty and loyalty towards the store 😀 . The manager arrived just then and gave Mr.X the ‘I’ll-KILL-You’ look. No words were exchanged. The guy billed my stuff and I was free to go. At last!! No security dived at my feet to hinder my escape. I left unscathed, except for that wee bit of hurt at being hinted as a thief.

And now, before some indignant readers point out that I should have hauled his a** off to the complaint cell, I’ll clarify that the thought did cross my mind. But something else clicked me too. The fact that this was possibly the guy’s first job. He looked no older than a college kid (He has a long way to go before he learns the skills of customer interaction. I was lucky that my first job didn’t require me to handle customers. I might have messed up big time myself 😀 ). Secondly, there were already too many people losing their cool at the store. I didn’t feel like joining them. Thirdly, I was getting late for work!

BUT, I did swore to myself never to return to that particular branch of Big Bazaar again. It’s not a very comfortable feeling to be tagged a chor.

I speak from experience 😉

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Note: Did you notice the frayed arm-rests on the sofa? Good. Thats what you get when you think you are smart and buy stuff that kids can ruin in minutes!! The twins love scraping at the sofa covers, delighting in watching the fine lint come off :roll: .

(Please abandon any ideas of believing that the kids take after their mother. I'm innocent. I swear :| )

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The Night Light

Imagine this , you are sleeping, or trying to sleep. Someone peels back your eye-lids and shines a torch on your face. How would you feel? Would your retina scream in pain as the light rays hit it bang-on?! Would you scramble and fight to shut your eyes? Would you drag a pillow over your face to block out the light?
Probably, yes.
I would do the same too. That is, if my eyes weren’t already closed 😐

Problem is, I’m awfully sensitive to light. I cannot sleep unless it is pitch dark. And even then, I wake up if the neighbor in the next building switches on the light in the room facing my bedroom. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been using a cotton dupatta to wrap tightly around my eyes. I’ve never used night-lights and now, even the kids cant sleep unless its dark all around. This has been going around for as long as I can remember. So imagine my surprise when a couple of nights back, I switched off the lights in my bedroom.
“SWITCH IT ON”, boomed the BF.
“Huh?”!, I stuttered.
“SWITCH THE DAMN LIGHTS ON!!”, he yelled for added measure.
I flung myself at the switchboard and pressed the button. When I turned around, there sat the BF, cross-legged on the bed, punching his pillow for all he was worth.
“What happened?”, I quivered.
“I JUST CANT take this darkness anymore”, he said, shaking his head in his typical Taurean bullish way (warning signal, if you ask me). “I HATE the darkness. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT”.
“Ummm….really??”, I blinked hard, trying my best to recollect if he’d ever shown his dislike for the darkness ever before.
“Yes!! And you never noticed”
*Gulp* . I’m surely guilty of that, me thought.
“Tomorrow I’ll buy a night light and for God’s sake, PLEASE DON’T SHUT IT OFF”.
“Sure…whatever your heart desires m’lord”, says I.
So the next day as I get the kids ready for bed, the BF asks me to switch on the night light. Mildly amused, I do his bidding. To stand back in shock as my room is flooded with an eerie orange-red glow in which my husband and kids look no better than ghouls.
“Err….couldn’t you get any other colour?” I croaked.
“Why? Whats wrong with this?”, he quipped.
“Nothing”, I was clearer now, “Its just that this room looks like the Chandini bar and you look like chandni”.
“WHA-?!”, yelled the BF before hurling a pillow at me.
Me, I took flight like a wise woman would.

But then coming back to the light – the twins hate it more than I do 😀 . They yell at the BF to turn it off, preferring the darkness over the red-ness 🙂 . The BF is a stubborn bull and will not bow down so soon. I’ve asked him to change the colour of the bulb at least. A cool blue or light yellow would do just fine, thank you.
As for me, I’ll simply have to staple the eye-lids together each night. First I sacrifise the fan and now this!! 😐 . The woes of a married woman, I tell you, they never end 😐

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Weekend Updates

Thank You Thank You Thank You All.
For the wishes and good vibes sent our way. I’m really sorry for not replying to comments (being lucky that I got to read them in the first place).
GMIL is stable now (if not completely recovered) and each improvement brings with it a sigh of relief.
The last couple of weeks have been rather hectic. Matters at work didn’t help…there is still no end date defined for my release from the project. Rather, workload has been humongous and I’m turning up at home around 9pm each night. The BF and BIL are also similarly caught up and we are one busy household as of now, trying our best to hang on to our jobs and also give time to granny. Not a day goes by without guests visiting our place (at all odd times, if I may add). Since we aren’t home, the nanny has been assigned the role of serving tea and snacks. The poor girl has been rather accommodating with the additional work. Fact is, she’s quite attached to the GMIL, because the old lady was forever showering the girl with love and attention (and a little money on the side 😀 ). The girl was very upset initially, when granny had suffered the stroke. But slowly, like all of us, she has pulled herself together.
It has been difficult to see the granny go through the pain and discomfort each day. So great is her pain that a strong sleeping pill prescribed by the doctor himself failed to take any effect on her. The doctor was shocked when we told him about it the next day! There are times when we feel guilty of going about our lives as she lays there writhing. But then, would our staying by her side make her feel any better? Every time a guest visits, the old lady starts sobbing. It upsets her to have people see her in her present state. Its worse because she cant express her anguish, her tongue refuses to move. And we cant just shoo away people, can we?
There are times, when we ask ourselves why the poor old lady has to go through all this.Doubting the will of Allah is easy enough. But then again, there is redemption in every kind of suffering. We cannot and should not question the Almighty. All we can do for now is to make it easier for her as much as possible. By the way, granny moved her right-arm yesterday. Yay!! Take that Mr.Skeptical-BF!! She even looks a little fresher than before and even attempts to speak up, though the words are garbled. It is rather heartening to know that she at least makes an attempt to talk!
Since we are on positive news, I’ll mention that the release we were working on (maniacally) for the last couple of months is finally through. Its almost like a HUGE load off our shoulders and we can get back to living a regular life (read, start blogging). The twins are getting snarkier by the day. Shobs demands that he be served his cup of tea or milk on a tray. Handing it over to him just like that is not tolerated. He either bursts into tears or throws a major attitude by refusing to drink unless served on a tray. Lui has become more and more stubborn and intolerant. Any word or gesture of ours that goes against her will is met with a loud announcement of ,”Mumma…aap mujhe roz roz satate. aap bad girl hai”.
“That’s part of my mom-profile, kid”, I retort back (not that it makes an iota of difference on the brat!)
By the way, I’ve been a little sneaky with the kids these days. I get them to do chores around the house by claiming that they are now BIG kids, since they’ve had their birthday. The logic is, whoever has a birthday, becomes older and can do what grown-ups do. This immediately has the kids scrambling to do my bidding 😀 . They even have arguments over who will rush to switch on the light bulb 😐 !
Things had been hectic, but we are slowly getting back to normal. We now have two maids for the GMIL, one comes during the day and the other during the night. The morning one is useless though. She refuses to dress granny’s wound, saying it makes her feel icky. She refuses to feed the old lady anything that has a shred of non-veg in it. She is happy to sit on the sofa and stitch hooks on blouses while the MIL and aunt rush to the GMIL’s bed on every call. After two weeks of suffering her, it was the doctor who finally suggested that we get rid of her, since she wasn’t doing the massages/exercises for the granny that he had strictly instructed her to do! Hopefully, the bureau will send someone more competent this week!
As always,this weekend too was spent in regular weekly chores. I didn’t get to do any extra cooking that I had planned, but I did get some time to sort through the twin’s cup-board and discard clothes they don’t fit into anymore. It was a major activity I was putting off since ages. Glad that it finally got done.Other than that, I watched some late-night movies on the laptop. “The Shawsank Redemption” (I can’t believe I never watched this gem of a movie before! I didn’t even read the book 😯 .Which planet am I on?!!), “Ocean’s Twelve” (not a patch on “Ocean’s Eleven”) and a stupid, STUPID movie called “Luv ka The End”. Avoidable. Majorly.
So that was my weekend. How was yours??

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The twin's reaction to their Birthday cakes

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I’ve been away for some time now. Not because I didn’t have the time, but more because even when I did, the fingers just wouldn’t cooperate enough to jot down what the mind rambles. The twin’s birthday went by, I couldn’t do a post. A lot is happening on the project release front, I couldn’t speak about it. The children are getting smarter and sneakier by the day, but I wouldn’t mention it. Every morning, I would open my blog and just stare at it, wondering what to write. I had loads of things to write about,  but the inclination just left me. It is not writer’s block, for I’m no writer and I’m NEVER short of stuff to write about.

The truth is that my heart just wasn’t in it.

Things have not been so rosy at home…..we are all getting through each day, the routine at once boring and yet comforting.
After the fiasco with the BIL’s prospective bride visit, things have been going downhill ever since. The BF fell ill seriously and then it was Lui. MIL and FIL had intermittent bouts of ill-health. The only bright spot was the twin’s birthday (which was a modest success) and GMIL’s extremely wonderful recovery. She has shunned the bedpan and made every visit to the bathroom herself.
But that was before she heard about he demise of her favourite nephew. The FIL’s elder cousin brother expired suddenly, leaving granny sobbing over her pillow all night….only to suffer a clot in the brain and a stroke the next day. All her positive recovery went down the drain when she ended up without the ability to speak or move, her right side getting partially paralyzed. Her tongue cannot move and she can make only make guttural sounds of pain.

The first few days were spent in iviting a plethora of doctors to visit her at home, reason being, her fractured left leg is still oozing fluids, and any mishandling in moving her could have had severe repercussions. It doesn’t help that she is herself in no state to tell us about her discomfort 😦
We had to take turns initially, to stay by her side and tend to her. Thankfully, the nursing bureaus sent by Pallu helped and we now have a nurse to attend to granny during the day. The MIL tends to granny throughout the night and morning while I try to run the house 😀 (notice the emphasis on ‘try’). The men are cooperating for once (Alhamdulillah) and are not finicky about what comes on their plate in the name of meals 🙂 . The twins are getting bossy and boisterous and bringing me within a hair’s width of thrashing them to tears. Thankfully, I’ve been able to control myself (and them) to a certain extent !
To top it all, I haven’t heard a thing about my project release, work-load at office is at its peak and a part of me wants to just dump everything and everyone and run off to Bangalore, where my parents are. BUT….rather than welcoming me with open arms, the parents are most likely to bundle me back to Pune with stern admonitions about shirking responsibility 😦 . So yeah, I dropped that line of thought ages back!
Anyhow, the reason I did this post was because a LOT of people got concerned and mailed/messaged/called me.
To all of you, I beg forgiveness, even as I marvel at the amount of concern shown by you all. In this vast world of web, I didn’t realize my absence would even be noticed, let alone, generate worry. I’m humbled. Thank you all for your kind wishes . Tai, Srihari, Mukund, Seema, AA_Mom, Pallu, G, Unmana, you’ve all made me feel loved and I feel myself filling up with crazy happiness 🙂 . Thanks to you all once again 🙂

As for GMIL, I started her on a nerve-activation therapy by my family doctor. The FIL was initially skeptical, but 10 days down the line, granny can move her right wrist and shoulder once again. It is an improvement, however slight, and we all see hope. GMIL is a gutsy woman and I know she will cross this bridge too. Its her will-power alone that has brought her this far. The doctor has assured us complete recovery in a month’s time, without any kind of medication, and we believe him. He’s a good man and slowly but steadily, everyone at home looks forward to his visit in the evening. Things look stable for now, if not better.

Thats all from my side folks. I’ve been away for long and I have a LOT to catch up on. Give me this weekend…let me see what you all have been up to 🙂
Till then,

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