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Archive for March 15th, 2012

It took me more than 5 days to gather the strength to mention the GMIL’s demise.

We knew she was gone, but a part of us refused to accept it. Each time we entered the house, we would peep into her room. It is a habit that we find difficult to get rid of. There is no granny there, of course, only the hospital bed and all the paraphernalia that she needed. It took time to sort out among her things and decide on whom to give all those rolls of cotton, those bags of diapers, her clothes, sarees……

Each time her topic comes up, at least 2 members stifle their tears. I think its mostly because granny was such a strong personality that her death has just left a big vacuum in our lives. I might have ranted about her interfering ways earlier, but then, it was a testimony to her never-say-die spirit that kept her actively involved in all the happenings at home! She wasn’t just an old lady sitting in a corner. She was the one who ran our household.

The last year was very trying on us. Me and the MIL struggled with our new responsibilities. Till then, we never had to worry about the gears of running a house. I would have thought that the last year gave us some practise. But it isn’t so. With the granny gone, we feel at sea. Completely, totally lost. I know this isn’t the end, that life goes on and time heals everything and all that jazz. But the truth is that it still hurts big time just thinking about her. We all have our regrets, I was too rude to the old lady, the BF didn’t spend enough time with her, the BIL didn’t give her the chance to see his bride, the FIL didn’t send her to Haj on time…..there’s a whole list of it! Every conversation at home starts with a “What if….”.Its no use, really, but the mind doesn’t sit idle. There are a hundred things that we feel we could have done differently. A hundred things we could have said but didn’t . A thousand moments that we could have spent with her but didn’t.

Death puts our priorities into perspective, doesn’t it??

I’ve been receiving so many messages since yesterday’s post. They are simple messages of condolences…..but they work wonders. We’ve heard of words healing, but I never actually experienced it until yesterday. All those heartfelt comments were like a balm. I’ve asked the BF to go through them too…

I saw this mail from Dad just yesterday (though he had sent it last week itself). As always, he summed it up beautifully. Putting up an excerpt here, because it gives an idea of the person that the GMIL was .

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An era has ended today. Beloved old Dadijan has left us for her Heavenly Abode. May her soul rest in peace. Aameen.

The end was an anticipated one, mostly due to her never-ending ailments and her old age. But then, when the end struck, our world froze. This loss is irreplaceable by any human means and we condole her demise from the depth of our hearts. We pray to Allah to bless her with Jannat. We also pray to Him to bless the bereaved family with courage and fortitude to brave the loss. Such wounds don’t heal easily.

A grand old lady, Dadijan held a magic wand in her hands.  Nothing was impossible for her. Her ever-present smile ( I have never seen her in any other mode ), graceful persona and an inspiring presence always used to motivate me immensely. She was a driving force in the household of Janab Y S and his family members. She loved every one of them to the point of madness. Her great grandchildren, Lui & Shobby were always the toast of the family. Her sheer presence can galvanize anyone. This list can be endless in her praise. We will all be missing her from now on.  

Take care of all your elders, Friends. Though Life’s Dictum is a definitive reality, the vacuum that is left after the elders pass away is very hard to fill. May be we all realise it only when they go away. You all have, by the Grace of Allah, a very long inning in Life. Please devote a part of it, however busy you are, in taking care of your elders and showing them you care….they have lesser time………

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Thank you Dad.

I may not be able to thank you all personally, but this is my vote of gratitude. Thanks for making me feel better. Your kind words really help.

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