Archive for May 16th, 2012

Where do I even begin?!
If the title doesn’t make any sense, blame it on the position of my stars ( I don’t believe in them myself…but I need to blame someone!!)
The twin tornadoes are ripping my life apart . Am desperately waiting for their school to begin. Never thought I would feel this way, but keeping two pre-schoolers occupied for more than 10 minutes is turning into one of the most daunting tasks ever.
“Mummy, shkates pehnao”, one demands.
“Pehle mujhe”, interjects the other.
“Nahin mujhe”, retaliates the first.
And then we have a full-blown war of epic proportions.
After 15 minutes of refereeing and 10 minutes of laboriously tying up a hundred laces and buckles the two stand up and collectively claim, “Mummy, su su aayi”.
(Those walls come in handy in such cases! Always present when you really want to bang your head against something. What would I do without them 😐 )

Other times, I’m at the door, about to leave for work, when one (or both) hollers that nature is calling them RIGHT NOW! So important is this news that it is broadcast in the shrillest of voices. Am sure the day I turn away and walk out on them, the neighbors would come running after me and insist that I go right back in there and wash them bums 😐

Thankfully, sometimes the kids aren’t so troublesome.
“Mummy bhook lagi hai. Maggi chahiye”.
“No sweetie, it isn’t good for you”, I claim.
“Only thoda sa”, they coo.
So the mother in me gives in and cooks the packet and serves it in nice, bright bowls.
The twins take a bite, smile and walk away.
“Hey!! Finish this”, I cry back at them.
“But mummy, humko sirf thoda sa chahiye tha na”, they reply back innocently.
Thats what happens when mummy just hears and doesn’t listen to those tiny voices.

Coming from a conservative, joint family, the one thing that me and the BF have tried to make the kids comfortable with, is our closeness. We don’t want them to look shocked or stunned when we give each other a quick hug or a chaste kiss. Unfortunately, the censor-boards living in our room think their parents are immoral criminals destined to burn in hell if they so much as touch each other (*Sigh* It’ll be tough on them when they find out how they came into this world. The money I’ll be spending on therapy….. 😐 )
Anyhow, so me and the BF are sitting on the bed, chatting on some serious issues.
Shobby comes in and is immediately annoyed to see his father’s arm resting on his mother’s shoulder.
“Abu, haath hatao”, he orders.
“Why?? I’ll NOT”, grins the BF.
“Abu, hato aap. Mummy ke paas mat baitho”.
So the BF plants a kiss on my cheek and confesses, “She is mine”.
My son’s tiny little body quivers with indignation at this claim.
He turns towards me and with barely concealed fury thunders, “Mumma!!!Peechhe hatkar baitho!!” And he holds my hand and tugs me away.
Hello Ram-Sene. I have spawned your future cadet. Dont bother training him. He’ll be teaching YOU!!

It is futile to teach kids about honesty. All kids are born honest. Brutally honest 😐
What is difficult to teach, is tact. To teach how to sugar-coat the truth. To beat around the bush!
It is difficult to teach them when to hold their tongues and when to speak up.
So I have guests over and I wanted my kids to recite the alphabets, they clammed up like, well, clams!
And then when my guest shows me some nice tops she has bought for herself my kids hollers in shock, “Yeh kitna chhota hai!! Shame shame”.
*hanging head in shame*

At another time, the FIL pleads with Shobby to sleep with him. The FIL has a soft corner for Shobby, mostly because my son takes after his grandfather strongly.
“Shobby, please come with me”, the FIL begs.
“No”, stubborn shobby replies.
“Aap good boy hai na. Aaj hamare saath so jao”, the FIL tries again.
Shobby continues to reply in the negative. Finally, tired of his grandfather’s pleadings, he feels magnanimous and in front of everyone says,”Aap mummy ko lekar jao”.
The FIL has NEVER asked Shobby to sleep with him again 😐

I thought I was immune to their honesty, but even after their millionth claim to relatives that ,”Hamari mummy FAAAAT hai”, I found that it still pinches hard 😦

But nothing pleases my eye in the morning than the sight of my loved ones sprawled on the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. That they look particularly comfortable,is what amuses me to no end. The BF as well as the kids are oblivious to where their heads and legs poke the others.I once found Shobby deep asleep as his feet dangled from the waist over the bed’s edge. His upper body was held in place by Lui’s leg, making sure that Shobby didn’t just slither down to the floor. Lui’s head was wedged somewhere in the crook of the BF’s arm. They were well anchored together 🙂
At times like these, I just choose a spot, a tiny nook if I can find one and snuggle in with them.
Then, it feels like the perfect fit 🙂

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