It all started when I first laid eyes on her.
Groggy from the anesthesia and limp in body, I could barely move my head to look at the tiny bundle held by my sister. Aapa was trying to awaken me to look at the tiny parcel in her arms. I just grunted and went back to sleep.
When I woke up once more, the eye-lids cooperated and opened a bit. All I could see through the haze was a tiny little face which was the picture of peace and all things holy and wise. A little later, as the senses kicked in, I stretched out an arm to feel her. I traced a finger along the perfect rosebud mouth, the stub of a nose, the sharp chin and the fragile alabaster cheeks, wondering how me and the BF could produce such a beauty. Gosh! She was tiny! I was almost terrified of picking her up…sure that her I would harm her delicate body.
But with the first touch I felt the connection with her which came from somewhere deep within me.I realized, that this teeny tiny person wasn’t just a part of my body…she was a part of my soul.
I named her accordingly – someone who has spirituality, someone who has a soul-ly connection with me. Those days, as I lay there besides her, content in her silence and rarely-ever crying phases, I thanked Allah above for giving me a daughter who was such an angel. The picture of docility and love.
And Allah laughed.
He must have.
Because for the last couple of years, Lui is doing her best to prove me wrong.
The devil re-incarnate? Thats her 😦
It is amazing how stringently she is going about destructing the image I had of her. I mean, I used to scorn names which had negative connotation, for example’Jwala’ . Alas, I now understand what those parents went through before they named their kin.
All things hot and unbearable. Sure to burn one to a cinder if touched.
If I wasn’t the mother of one, I’d have laughed at this description of a toddler.
But that is exactly what little Lui is like. ‘Jwala’, ‘Agni’!! If they weren’t hindi words, I’d definitely rename my daughter with it.
I’m being rather harsh on her. But it doesn’t mean that she isn’t loving or kind. She is that too. But try refusing her kindness or her love and see the fire within leap up in flames around her.
“Mumma, I tea make. Please eat”, she coos at me.
“No baby, that is dishwater you took from the sink. Please throw it away”.
“Mumma, khao na please”.
“No sweetie. Please throw that”.
Flinging the dishes away “MUMMA!!! AAP KHAATE NAHIN!! HAAN?? “
“MAINE BOLA NA. KOI BHI MUJHE ‘NO’ nahin bolna chahiye. PHIR KYUN NAHIN KHAYE AAPNE?? KYUUUN?!!!”
The last word is uttered with such vehemence and volume that mumma has no option but to scrape the remnants from the thrown dishes and gulp it down.
Her majesty would simply nod her head in approval and walk away with nary a worry.
I sit back and wonder about the future of my daughter and the state of my intestines, not necessarily in that order.
The biggest source of her ire is her brother, Shobby. After three years and 6 months of existence with him, I’d have thought she would be secure in her own space! Alas, this girl has issues. She has issues with her brother, with her parents for even talking to her brother, with her grandparents for playing with her brother.
And yet, the minute we raise our voice to scold Shobby, she’s the one who runs across the room to fling herself at us and beat us black and blue for yelling at him 😐
She cant tolerate us showering love on him.
She cant tolerate us scolding him.
She believes that the only person who has any authority over him, is her 🙄
At other times, she’s jealous, she’s whine-y and she’s hot-tempered. She throws tantrums at the drop of a hat. She refuses to acknowledge authority and screams blue murder if asked to do anything against her will.
But she’s the one who runs to get the jar of pain-relief balm if one gets hurt.
She’s the one who insists on serving food to everyone.
She’s the one who runs errands the minute it is requested.
She’s the one who immediately shares her food/goodies if someone asks for it (you should see how Shobby hides his goodies. Practically doubles up over the dish making sure we dont even look at his share 😐 )
She’s the one who gives the sweetest coy smile when complimented.
She’s the one who demands that water be served to guests, within seconds of them stepping into the house.
She’s the one who pampers little children as though they were her babies. This includes Shobby, who takes advantage of his sister’s ‘motherly’ love 😐
I think I’m in my mid-life crisis right now! I have very little patience and whatever is left, is tested to its extreme by my daughter. The only person who has any influence over her, is her father. Thank God for the BF!! What would I do without him? At the peak of my stand-offs with Lui, he would calmly come in and divert her mind. That he does it so effortlessly is an art I’m in awe of! Because when I handle her, half my time is spent in gulping down the waves of anger, closing my eyes and counting to ten, clenching my fists till the nails dig right into the palms. Only when the wave recedes, do I open my eyes and confront her. By that time, her screeches have crossed the sound barrier!
I’m told that girls who are loud and boisterous in childhood, generally calm down as they grow older.
I can barely wait for that day to come!!
But on hindsight…..wouldn’t this blog become boring then?? I think Lui gives me more blog fodder than I could dish up myself!
Drat this girl!
First she annoys the hell out of me and then she makes me all moony-eyed at her antics!
And drat this blogging which has made it addictive to write about her!
Mid-life crisis? Yeah, I’m right there!! Playing with a dragon