Archive for June 13th, 2012

On the twin’s last birthday, I stuck to the no-unnecessary-brouhaha rule and kept a simple birthday party at home, inviting only the neighborhood kids. Much of the day was spent in preparing the food and setting up the party. It was a working day and I had taken a leave to be with the twins. While they were at school in the morning, I rustled up the menu and kept stuff ready, to be warmed up in the evening before serving.
Once the kids got back, they had lunch and went off to sleep. I utilized this time to set up the drawing room with balloons and streamers. I was hanging up the last of the streamers when Shobby, groggy from sleep, walked into the hall. He took one long look at the colorful, shiny streamers and balloons. In a fraction of a second, his face split in two with the biggest grin ever ๐Ÿ™‚
“Mumma!! Yeh sab hamare liye?” he asked. I replied yes, it was.
My son, bless his little toes, ran to hug me and gushed over the balloons and lights. I was quite tired out by then, but my son’s reaction made me forget my aching arms and hollow lungs (from blowing all those balloons).
My point is, its not what I did that mattered. That I did it for him, made all the difference to my kid.
He reacted similarly last weekend when I bought the monthly groceries. The twins are always eager to dig into the bags to check what could be of use to them or what surprises their mother has in store for them. I’ll confess here that try as I might, I can barely resist getting something or the other for the kids when Iโ€™m out shopping. It could be as simple as hair-pins for Lui’s non-existent hair or colorful friendship bands for the two. It doesnโ€™t matter ๐Ÿ™‚ .
Anyhow, so Shobby came across a refill packet of Bournvita. Once again, he came running to me, “Mumma…aapne hamare liye Bournvita laye!! Aap kitne achche ho!!”
And proceeded to give me a BIG hug and a kiss while his face glowed with happiness that cannot be described in words :).
The best part?? He doesn’t even like Bournvita!
My son was happy because his sister likes that stuff and I bought it for her!!
Its these simple gestures of gratitude that make all the difference. Much of how Shobby behaves reflects my Dad’s personality.
“Its the thought that counts”, says my father ALL the time.
Its a pity that not many people today value the thought behind a gift. Or the effort.
I have a cousin who is choosy and picky to a fault. Everything she owns has to fit into her aesthetics and sense of style. Needless to say, gifting her is a nightmare. After years of admonishing from her, I’ve learnt to take her along for her shopping. Let her buy what she likes, I’ll pay for it, is my mindset. But then, at the end of it, I do not have the satisfaction of gifting it. Can a gift be called one if the only contribution towards it is the cash?? Is is a necessary aspect to know a person’s likes/dislikes before gifting?? Is gifting money the right thing to do??
A long time back, I had mentioned in a post the kind of gifts that the BF had given me. The reason he still continues on that vein is that I’ve always welcomed his gifts with delight, only because he spent time thinking about me. There were times he was out with friends, yet he thought about me and bought me stuff. He didn’t have to, but he did. And thatโ€™s what matters!!
I see a lot of people around me, grumpy that their husbands didn’t gift them the jewelry of their choice, grumpy that their MILs bought them awful stuff, grumpy that their boy-friends have no taste. These views are expressed without the least concern for the time, effort and money someone else spent for them ๐Ÿ˜
But shouldn’t an individual’s personal taste reflect in the stuff they buy vis-a-vis stuff that is gifted? How difficult is it really, to be gracious. Accept a gift for what it is. If its not your style, don’t use it. But rebuking the person gifting you isn’t really acceptable, is it? The most common reply to this gentle query is that, “If we don’t tell them now, they will end up buying similar stuff next time. Why let them waste their money??” This may sound true at a level, but why jump to the conclusion that the other person will be generous enough to gift you a second time after you have trashed his first gift?! What makes one think themselves deserving after passing rude comments??
I have no idea why I’m ranting on this thought process, now.
The closest I can think of is that after hearing a few friends being a tad unthankful lately and then seeing Shobby’s unbridled joy at the simple pleasures he thinks his mom has brought him, made me realize that the innocence of childhood is wiped out as one grows older ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
A pity ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
This post will act as a reminder to me and the kids that gifting is not just about giving or accepting gifts. It is about connection, of feeling the need to do something for someone and not just out of duty. To learn to accept and be grateful. To learn to be gracious and thankful. To be thoughtful and considerate when giving something to others.
This is just one of life’s small lessons.
I’m glad my son taught me its true significance ๐Ÿ™‚

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