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Archive for March, 2013

Its the season of peas. Lovely green peas which are now cheaper than what they usually cost throughout the year. The MIL brought around 3 kgs of green peas last week. The plan was to deep-freeze half of it and use up the rest. Since then, we’ve been having peas in practically every dish. Matar pulao, salads, matar-paneer, aloo-matar, matar-karanjee, matar-parathas and the list goes on (frankly, I’m a little sick of the little pea 😐 )

The kids aren’t big fans of the pod. But when disguised within parathas or in soup, they have it. Usually though, if they find a pea floating in their soup, it has to be removed!  Point is, they don’t like it much.

Last Saturday morning, I finally got down to shelling those peas. The twins were busy watching some cartoon (rationed viewing on Saturdays 🙂 ). I suddenly remembered that I’d left my phone in the bedroom. With the BF away, I keep the phone with me at all times…not wanting to miss out when he calls 😀 . So imagine my surprise when I walk back to the hall and see this :-Photo0292

Two little kids trying their hand at shelling peas. Shobby was having no luck with it. I saw him ripping off a few with his teeth. Worst part is, as soon as he saw his paparazzi mom zooming in for a pic, he scooted off the table he was sitting on. *Sigh* He did try to help me, didn’t he?

Lui was the picture of determination and dedication. Though the pods were a little hard to tug apart, she still gave it her best shot.

Photo0294

Looking at her sitting there, shelling peas with a content look on her face, I realized with a pang – my daughter has grown up! Though I refuse to believe it , in my heart, I have to accept the fact that she is no longer a toddler (in fact, I still call her my baby!). She is a grown-up little pre-schooler who thinks her mother is the picture of impatience. Why else would my every question to her be replied with a ,”Thoda sabr toh rakho...”

😐

Anyhow, 10 minutes into the shelling and she called it a day 🙂

But I didn’t mind. I’m just glad that she did something without me pestering her to do so. Usually, for kitchen related chores, I rope in Shobby. I ask him to put washed utensils in their place (the ones where he can reach). He helps me put vegetables in the refrigerator after sorting them 🙂 . For some reason, Lui abhors kitchen work. She will do anything else, sweep or mop the floors, fold clothes, fetch stuff.

For now, I’m just glad that the twins are learning to contribute to the house. I want them to know the difference between a house and a home…….slowly, but surely, we are getting there 🙂

 

 

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For a few months now, I’ve been contemplating going on a sabbatical. The thought first crept in when I was busy on my previous project and didn’t have the time to breathe. I was cranky, tired and snapped at every given opportunity. Working 12 hours at a stretch for weeks does that to some people. I’m among one of those weak, insipid ones who fall prey to long working hours 😦 . It didn’t help that I also have kids and a family to tend to.

Somewhere along the way, it didn’t seem worth the effort. I was putting in all the hours I could. I know I’m good at what I do, yet, I wasn’t happy. Satisfied maybe. Glad to be doing something with my brain. If I were a housewife, I would most likely be found in the corner of my room, cobwebs hanging over my body, hair in dreadlocks, drool over my chin as I chewed my pencil over Sudoku, level Hard. The kids would be forgotten, cooking would be a distant memory and the BF would  almost be on his way to becoming one.

But I digress.

I like what I do. Which doesn’t really translate to “I LOVE what I do”. I don’t love it. Period. I don’t like taking work back home (though, there are times when I cannot avoid it). Each evening, as I lock up for the day, I’m glad about leaving. I hold my head high and rush out as fast as I can. I never look back. Its not about the work, I’ll admit. I’m sufficiently engrossed when I’m at it to forget to call the BF for his morning call. I’ve even missed out on calling the Pediatrician regarding some ailment of the twins only because I was busy debugging a script (bad parenting example here). I’m glued to the PC because I’m interested in what I’m doing.

Working From Home

Working From Home

The current project I’m working on is much better than the previous one. I like the easy familiarity with the tools and the platform I’m working on. I like the good vibes I share with the people at the client side. Though I’m busy, I’m not neck-deep in it. I do have time to breathe these days 🙂 .

Yet, I think I need the break.

I’ve been contemplating a lot on what I really want to do in the long run. Should I continue in IT or should I venture out to doing stuff that I love?? A really long time back, I’d written a post on how I want to start my own boutique. There was a time when every single dress that I wore bore results of my painful contribution to its look. A little thread-work here, a few sequins there, a little mirror-work on one and sometimes, a little painting on the fabrics. There were other times I thought of taking up writing full time (thats a joke really. And like I said, I was just ‘thinking’ about it 🙂 ) because some people who read me liked what I had written. It was a powerful boost of self-esteem and confidence. It felt good to be appreciated for doing stuff that I loved to do.

When I decided to take a break, I also decided to hunt for other avenues of income, things which didn’t take up as much time as the current one does. I was in a dilemma, because I’m one of those people, the jack-of-all-master-of-none types. There’s a lot I can do, but not good enough to guarantee a regular income! So I thought that maybe I could start writing short stories or articles (only problem being, I suck at social commentaries and my kids HATE my stories 😦 )

So imagine my surprise and consternation when I read this article by my favourte movie reviewer, Baradwaj Rangan ( Since 2007, when I first discovered his blog, I swear I haven’t watched a film unless I read his review first. He is GOOD!!) . A snippet from his blog states this :-

“That’s one thing you’re not really prepared for when you begin to “follow you passion,” that one day it will become a job, and the pieces you used to write at your leisure, for fun, for a break from the daily grind, now come with deadlines. No one tells you that, one day, the passion becomes the daily grind.”

This is exactly what I was afraid of all along, just that he presents it in a much better manner.

I have my work on one side and my hobbies on the other. I like writing. But I also like writing at my leisure, when I feel like it or IF I feel like it. I did a short stint for Parentous. Contributed for a month(thats a total of 4 posts) and then suddenly, it seemed too much. Though I had to contribute just once a week, the pressure of coming up with a meaningful post every week seemed too much. I realized I couldn’t do it. That I was uncomfortable sharing my blog-time on someone else’s blog 😐

When I read BR’s blog, it made sense. My insecurities were not my whims. There was someone else who was facing the same issues. Today, when I get bored of my work, I know that I can turn back to sewing a few sequins or weilding that paint brush. I can sit back and read a good book or turn to my blog to spout my feelings. But what happens if I do all these for a living? I’ll probably enjoy doing all this…..but one day, when I’m tired and bored of it all, what do I do? If my comfort hobbies become my work, then what would be my comfort when I feel like getting away from it all?  Some would suggest that I would need to build up diversity in my hobbies, learn new skills (you are never to old to learn) but after an age, its not everyone’s cup of tea to chart new paths(you cant teach an old dog new tricks!!) .

I’d applied for leave, hoping that I’ll find my calling in something else and follow it. Probably submit my resignation and follow the dicatats of my heart.

But now, I think I’ll just use the leaves for what they were meant to be…..a break. I’m still not ready to change my track. Sure, my work doesn’t bring me big-time happiness. But it brings in the moolah, which kind of compensates for everything else. Plus, if I ever get bored or need a break, there’s so much more I could turn to, to bring me comfort.

For now, I’ll not give in to the temptation to make my passion my work. I’ll let it be what it is……so that when I want to get away from the grind, it is right there, welcoming me as always!

Please do take a few minutes to read BR’s article (link given above). It is brilliant! Puts a lot of things in perspective.

Do let me know if anyone of you has given up their job to follow their heart….I want to hear your side of the story too 🙂

Love,

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I firmly believe that children are messengers of God. They say things that no other adult in their sane state would say. Kids are not bridled with social or moral implications of their speech, so naturally, whatever comes from their mouth comes right from their heart. They say stuff that either warms the cockles of the heart or adversely, shames us into hanging our heads.

The twins, unaware of the impact of their words, complete their speech and then move on to more important topics such as hunting for the last bar of 5Star or whacking their sibling and getting whacked in return. Their lives are simple, really.

Not so for us adults, I say. Long after the kid leaves us alone, we are left with a gob-smacked feeling, wondering what just hit us, and why, kids can say the damnedest things and get away with it 😐 .

Of my two kids, The Good Lord Above chose Shobby to be my moral Police and conscience keeper.  My little son is rather diligent in the task delegated to him. Every single thing he asks me to do, is appended with the question, “Aapko maloom nahin hai kya?” or the more rude, “Aapko samajhta nahin hai kya?” When admonished for speaking like that, he will immediately alter his tone, come up with a sweet smile and say,”Mummy, I am teaching you……don’t get angry”.

Yeah right 😐

Lui, on the other hand, flings around her opinions like she does the bits of papers chopped diligently with scissors.

“Mummy, I DON’T like Shobby”, this, after she remembers that a few days back he had taken a few raisins from her lunch box,”You don’t talk to him. He’s a bad boy”.

Or, “Mummy, I DONT want to talk to you”.

“But why??”, I exclaim.

“Because you don’t give me strawberry everyday”.

😐

I would hate to tag Shobby as a “Brat” because there is very little my son does to earn that title. He has a more mature outlook towards life and actually listens to what we say, paraphrases each sentence and deduces his own opinion of the same. For a four-year-old, he talks much sense and it helps a lot, because his sister talks only stuff that rarely makes sense (most of the times). It kind of balances the two together.

Just yesterday, we were ready to go to the SIL’s home for lunch. I was in the drawing room, waiting for the in-laws to come out. Shobby was busy hopping around, showing me his balance on one leg. I was barely paying attention, focused more on a silly game on my phone. Suddenly, the boy comes up to me and says, “Mumma, when I look at you, I feel very happy. Mujhe bahut achcha lagta hai“.

He went back to his hopping again.

As for me, I just sat there for what seemed like ages, glowing with the undeserved compliment and heart-broken because I knew that I didn’t deserve it then. Maybe otherwise, but not at that very moment.

Lui did something similar a few days back. I got delayed at work so the MIL was busy making the two eat their dinner. When I came in, Lui was making a big fuss about wanting to eat. I was tired and a wee bit irritated , so I asked her sharply why she wouldn’t eat. The little girl puts on the most pitiful look on her face and says, “I want you to feed me. When you give me food, it tastes soooo sweet and yummy!!” And then she goes,”Yumm yumm yumm”.

Obviously, I broke into a smile and offered to feed her (this is bad habit actually. Try as I might, I cannot seem to NOT feed the two dinner. I know they have the rest of the meals in the day themselves. I just cant resist sitting down with them and feeding them with my own hands at night 😦 ) . While we were eating, after a couple of morsels, Lui turns to me and says, “Mummy, I was wrong. Aaapke haath se bhi khana boring lagta hai. I lied. I said it tasted sweet. I’m sorry”.

😐

Seriously now, what do I do with these kids?!!

But the best of speech is reserved by them for each other. Like the other day, the kids found the two sippy cups which we had hidden in order to wean them off it. Shobby was all excited and happy at finding his beloved sippy-cup. Lui, in the meanwhile looks at it and says with disdain, “Shobby, leave that cup. Its for babies. You are not a baby. Samjhe?” Shobby dutifully kept the cup back in its place. He did look woeful though.

One day, I was cleaning their cupboard and found a shirt that Shobbs hadn’t worn in a while….maybe a month. I thought of giving it away because it wouldn’t fit him after a while. Lui grabs the shirt from my hand and runs to Shobby.

“Shobby, Shobby, see your shirt”, and happily holds out the shirt to him.

Shobby looks all happy and glee-ed. He then holds it in front of him to check out the size and says with apparent sadness,” Lui, yeh chhota ho gaya. Lagta hai mere bachpan ka shirt hai“.

😐 🙄  😐

There are so many other little things that these two say, so many little nuggets of sweetness and laughter that its impossible for me to remember them all and put them here. But I really must….because like the BF says, pretty soon this phase will be over. Before we know it, the kids would refuse to accept stories of fairies and monsters. Before we know it, they would start treating their parents like old coots from another planet. Before long, this age of dependence and faith in their parents will be gone. Which, in one sense is good. But a tiny part of me will regret when that actually happens. When it does though, I’ll come back to this post and relive those moments 🙂

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