Archive for the ‘Being a DIL’ Category

I had been on a weekend rant for so long now that I almost forgot what enjoying a weekend meant. And no, it doesn’t mean long lazy hours (at least in my case). It does not mean ready-made meals served on a platter or having the kids off my hands (I’d rather chop my hands off 😀 . The weekends are , after all, for the kids, right?!).

What then, does it take to make a weekend really worth it??

After months of howling and cribbing, I’ve now realized that the way to a happy weekend lies in me.

On how I treat the time I have. What I do and what I don’t. But most important, what attitude I carry when I do the things that I have to do!

So this weekend too, we had our fair share of bunking maids . The regular maid as well as the nanny didn’t turn up. So instead of fretting over them and cursing them under my breath, I took the easier way out and decided to show them the literal finger! I was going to enjoy the weekend with the twins and family and the maids be damned if I was going to let them spoil this time for me!!

On Saturday, I got busy early. Got GMIL settled after her bath and breakfast and made Gulab Jamuns and Vegetable Pulao (I might add here, that in our house, weekend menus generally cross the 1 Kg mark. So the pulao was 1 kg rice with added vegetables. Large scale cooking to make sure rice lasts for dinner too 😉 ) . Post cooking, did a random round of cleaning, did a few utensils and bathed and readied the twins. The twins were less peskier because I had enticed them with a visit to their khala’s place (cousin L’s place, who stays close by). Thankfully, the kids co-operated. The BF was busy with some society work and was out most of the day. Once the MIL came back from school at mid-day, I handed over the house, GMIL and her sons to her care and took my kids out for an evening at my uncle’s house.

Had fun at Cousin L’s place. Helped her prepare lunch while the aunt was busy getting some food into the twin’s tummy 🙂 . Thankfully, the twins were better behaved and didn’t break anything or rip anything apart (the stress of which alone causes me gray hair 😦 ). We had a short siesta post lunch, after which I took the twins to visit my mom’s old family friend. Spent some time there, where the twins gorged on potato wafers as though their life depended on it 😐 (I don’t give them chips at home…mostly avoided since their school requested us parents to stop giving children packed oily stuff. So no more chips, no Peppys or their ilk. I know, my kids will hate me a few years down the line 😦 . *Sigh*…the things one has to do for motherhood!!)

When I got back home later that evening, the house was full of guests of the BF. I herded the kids inside and asked the MIL if I could help with anything. She said that the guests were about to leave….so not much work to be done 🙂 .  The twins had a light dinner and then I played them some nursery rhymes on the laptop. They were good as gold and didn’t touch any key other than the one I showed them for playing the next track 🙂 . They even dropped off to sleep early, tired as they were after a long day!

Sunday was even better. The MIL had made breakfast by the time I woke up so I just contributed to the sweeping house, washing dishes, loading washing machine kind of tasks. The MIL also agreed to make lunch for the day because I had to leave for a birthday party at 10:30. Getting the twins bathed and ready took a better part of my morning and it was only 11 AM before I could step out of the house! It took us some time to find an auto and finally head to the party venue. The Birthday Girl was the daughter of one of my best friend, who is a part of my friend circle mentioned here. Needless to say, once again there were hugs and handshakes galore. It is NEVER boring to meet your friends, specially ones who go back a long way 🙂 . The best part was that this time Shobs was tagging along and he got to meet my friends whom he couldn’t meet last time. By the time we left after lunch, everyone declared that the howling cry-baby Lui was a replica of me and that the silent, observant Shobs was his father’s true son ! Where do they get these ideas , I ask!

Anyhow, we took an auto back home, by which time, the twins were almost falling off to sleep. Once home, they were enveloped in the loving arms of the family, who said they found the house boring in the absence of the twins 🙂 . The BF and BIL played with the kids for some time after which I herded them in for some nap time. I woke up after an hour or so, made tea for everyone and instructed the cook  for dinner. The MIL and FIL had to leave for some house visits, the BIL went to meet his friends and that left me with the GMIL, kids and BF to handle. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel even a wee bit tired even till late in the night (I watched Chillar Party on my laptop till 2 AM. Never expected the movie to be so engrossing and entertaining 🙂 ) . In fact, I think I enjoyed myself this time, in spite of loads of work. Maybe the kids contributed by not being so cranky and demanding of my time…..or just maybe, I’ve grown up a wee bit 😀 . The crux of the matter is that I just changed the way I think about weekends. And it has immensely helped me in getting through the two days 🙂

And oh, since I’m feeling good, here are a couple of conversation snippets between the twins. I never knew when they grew up so much. I could swear they were born yesterday 😐


1) I’m attending to the GMIL in her room. Lui is playing with her rubik-cube. In between, she tires of it and places it on the table. Shobby comes hopping into the room, sees the cube and grabs at it. Lui immediately lets out a loud wail. I think of intervening, but then decide otherwise. Better to let the two sort out their problems themselves!!

Lui : (crying louder than ever) Mera cube!! Shobby ne mera cube liya

Shobs : Lui, mere paas cube nahin hai na. Mera wala toot gaya

Lui : (quietening down immediately) Sobby, aapke paas cube nahin hai?

Shobs : Nahin hai na. Mera cube toot gaya.

Lui : Aapka cube kisne toda.

Shobs : (obviousy thinking of the first name that came to his head) Mummy ne.

Lui : Haan Shobby? Mummy ne toda?

Shobs : (clucking his tongue) Haan na 😦

Lui : (holding up her palm) Aap 2 minutes ke liye khelo , phir humko do.

Shobs : Haan. Okay. (Trying to figure out 2 from his set of fingers, ultimately settling for 4 ) Mai aapko 2 minutes ke baad deta hoon.

So the brother-sister duo walk out of the room hand-in-hand, in complete harmony.

As for me, I just stood there looking like this ” 😯 ”


2) I’m in the kitchen making dinner last night. Shobs, who had earlier gone out with the BIL to buy some stuff, had just returned. In his absence, I had given Lui a piece of chocolate , a brand which Shobs doesn’t like. So I didn’t offer it to him after his return.

I’m standing at the stove, stirring my pot when the two brats start ‘whispering’. Well, they thought they were whispring, but they were pretty audible alright.

Lui : Bhaiya, aap please mummy se chocolate maango.

Shobs : Mujhe nahin chahiye chocolate.

Lui : Mujhe chahiye na. Aap please maango.

Shobs : Nahin aap maango.

Lui : Mummy mujhe gussa karegi na.

Shobs : Haa-aan?? Mummy ko chocolate maangne se mummy ‘very funny’ bolegi.

Lui : (giggling) Mummy ‘Very funny’ nahin bolegi.

Shobs : Bolegi na.

After which, he proceeds to prove his point by coming by my side and demanding the said chocolate –

Shobs :  Mumma….Lui ko chocolate chahiye.

Me :  (Answering in mock anger ) Chocolate chahiye??  Very Funny!!

Lui and Shobs break out in rollicking laughter , practically clutching their tummies as they turned to each other

Shobs : Maine bola tha na?! Mummy ‘Very Funny’ boli 🙂

Lui : (giggles)

I’m giggling myself as I think of these two 🙂

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Hello Hello Hello.

I’m back after a week of celebrations, feasting, donkey-work and relaxing. Apologies for abandoning this blog for quite some time, but like I’ve said before, when I’m home, the last thing I touch is my laptop 😦

I thank ALL of you who messaged/sms-ed/mailed/commented your Eid wishes. Its my fault entirely that I wasn’t around to do a proper Eid post. Blame it on the lack of planning and some last minute wrapping up (I bought new shoes for the twins on the eve of Eid. How early is that?!!).

Anyway, Eid was a muted affair this year. Somehow, since GMIL’s not an active force anymore, much of the hyperactivity is lost. We did some last-minute chopping and drying of the dry-fruits (something which is usually done much before Eid). In fact, I was chopping up dates the night before Eid. Muslims reading this part would be aghast at the horrifying delay in preparations. But what to do?! Somehow, we were just not clued in to Eid this year as we usually are 😦 . Maybe it has to do with GMIL being incapacitated. I somehow miss the old times when she used to yell at us to get things done! Aah well. Please pray for her quick recovery. Also, it was the first time in my living memory when I did not apply mehendi for Eid 😦 . There just wasn’t time for it. And when I did have the time, I also had two kids to mind over. All chances of sitting idle with henna-ed hands went out the windows 😦 .

There were plenty of guests though, except mine. After my first Eid, post marriage, I realized that my set of friends was the only group which did not have a host attending to them. The BF was busy with his friends and the same applied to the BIL, FIL and MIL. I was the one left to do the serving to all parties (being the conventional muslim family, we dont let the house-helps serve the guests). In the bargain, my friends from different groups sat stiffly, gulped down their sheer-kurma and bid me a hasty goodbye. I felt bad then. And I felt bad again , each year after that. Maybe I’ll invite friends over when the twins are a little older….or better even, when the BF and the BIL learn to cater to their own set and leave me alone with mine 😉

I think I must have washed a gazillion utensils last week. The maid took an off for the week and the nanny, who now helps around with the house work too (obviously with extra pay) started coming in by 12 or 1 in the afternoon. Severe test of patience it was, specially since the twins had a week off from school and made it their life’s purpose to compel me into yanking off that last hair from my head. Wanna know what all they were up to? They took out dry wheat atta in a bowl, added loads of water to it and then smeared it over the refrigerator and walls. They squeezed out mehendi from the cones, smeared it over their hands and then made palm prints over the house, on the walls, the floors, bed sheets and of course, their clothes( The stains refuse to ‘Vanish’ in spite of generous usage of the same! ). They insisted on having separate plates for their dinner and then proceeded to drop its entire contents on the floor. They spilled water by the jugful. They opened bottles of liquid handwash and smeared it all over themselves, then screamed their hearts off when some of it entered their eyes. They bumped into walls,doors and each other. They fell off beds, tables and chairs. They fought and they cussed. They yelled and they screamed. They cried buckets . They refused to eat proper meals and survived on junk-food. They made me feel shitty like a loser mom. In all, they were just being normal 😐

*Whew! *

Anyhow, since it was a rather WET weekend, much time was spent in idling by the windows , ruminating on life and other such wonders 🙂 . The twins had a blast, hanging on to the windows, looking down at the Dhol-tasha processions passing by below. Believe me, if you haven’t seen a dhol-tasha procession up close, you’ve seen nothing of the Ganpati festival. The air positively resonates with the beats! I bet by next year the twins will be down there on the road, dancing themselves silly with the crowd 😀

We did a whale of house-visits on Sunday. Took the twins to visit one of BF’s friends who had set up an elaborate tableau for Ganpati and Gauri in his house. It was beautifully done 🙂 The BF narrated stories of how he used to assist his friends in making those very same decorations when he was younger. Hidden talent that I never knew of 😐 . After this friend, we went to another one’s place for dinner and what a dinner it was!! Sumptuous chicken-lollipops, chicken&corn hot&sour soup and biryani wrapped up with hot Sheer-kurma. Bliss 🙂

Needless to say, this morning was awful!! Got terribly late while preparing food for lunch , the twins refused to cooperate and the BF refused to come out of his burrow to help. Somehow, managed to wrap up everything and leave for office. And once here, am back in the grind 😀

Thats all about me. How about you all?? Did you have a wonderful Eid too?? Have you set up Ganpati at your place? How is Shravan proceeding? Tell me all. I want to know what all I missed out on in the last week.

I’m all ears 🙂

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Having a love-marriage can be tough! Specially so when you have an inherent desire to trot around with a tray of tea and biscuits for prospective in-laws, all coy and shy, head bent to almost touch your tummy and manners gracious enough to be grating 😀

I SO missed out on the fun 😦

I mean, since I was a kid, I had  planned out exactly what I would say to prospective bride-hunters. I recited to myself the questions that I would ask them, the quips I would retort back with and the floundering-and-dropping-tea-on-the-MIL-in-case-I-didn’t-like-her cases.  Clearly, I’m one person who thinks deeply about the future 😐 (going by another truth that at the tender age of 10, my biggest ambition in life was to be a mother! So there !).

Anyhow, I then met the BF and all my dreams went down the drain. No chai-nashta party for me *sob* . In fact, I was so unfortunate that I didn’t even receive a single marriage proposal!! I mean, it was like I was TOTALLY ineligible 😦 . No wonder I took my own route and hitched up with the BF. He’s a guy who wasn’t  interested in looking out for a bride himself. I swear he would have stayed a bachelor if I’d let him go 😐 .

The above context gives an explanation (somewhat) of my Zero experience in  the matter of Bride-Hunting. So what happens when me, the Clueless One is asked to conduct a Bride-Hunt myself?!

Okay, for starters, we are looking out for a bride for the BIL (who is LEAST interested in this topic and any prospective bride’s Bio-Data that we show him). Taking the new-fangled way out, I created a Shaadi.com profile for him and asked him to do the hunt himself. There! Doesn’t that give you an idea my problem-solving skills?? I’m fast, I confess. I catch on to a trend and make the best possible use of it 😀

So whenever the MIL asked me for updates, I checked up with the BF and he replied back saying that he hasn’t found anyone interesting yet. The MIL believes it. I don’t. Frankly, I KNOW that he hasn’t checked his account in ages 🙄 . But then, if a guy isn’t interested, then what’s the whole point in battering your head over bride-hunting for him , I say!! He’ll toe the line whenever he feels right. I’m not the one to push. Never 😐

Does that give me some reprieve then??

Apparently NOT.

The MIL, by virtue of being MIL is not the kinds to leave me alone. Though she knows my views about the process, she continues to question me about the updates on my hunt (which, truly speaking, I had abandoned ages ago 😦 ) . So this weekend, when her sister dropped by, I was asked to accompany the sister to a neighbors house. The aunt was interested in the neighbors daughter for her son. They are a fine family, the neighbors. I wished the aunt good luck. “Not so soon” , said she, “you are coming with me”.


*EGAD* 😯

ME??!! I whimpered?!! (the scream was in my head)

I turned to the MIL to moan my protest, but she brushed aside my protests as though swiping at cobwebs.

What about the kids? I protested.

I’ll look after them, she replied calmly.

What about evening tea?

I’ll make it, piped in the Nanny. I glared at her. Damn girl.Grrrr!!! 👿

What about my beauty sleep? I begged.

What beauty? The MIL inquired.

(Okay, so I totally made up the last two lines. But what the hell. They sound fun 😉 )

Anyhow, crux of the matter was that at 5 pm sharp Sunday evening, me and the aunt strolled over to the neighbors house. I vowed to stay mum (tough task, that. But seriously, what could I talk about?)

A tiny background on the neighbor’s girl-  She’s a doctor (Ayurvedic) same as the aunt’s son(Thats all I know about him). The girl’s parents have set up a clinic for her in their parking area. It’s a pretty big and smart clinic, with all amenities required for a practicing Ayurvedic  doctor (including steam baths, massage tables and traction tables). Obviously, they are pretty well-off.

The girl’s mother opened the door , which directly led us to the clinic. She asked us to sit there while she went back in to call her daughter. Since the aunt was there for her son, I was a tad surprised to see her fidgeting. She looked nervous as hell and kept wiping her face with her hanky.

“Any problem?”, I asked.

“No”, said she.

I was busy tapping my feet when the mother came back in again and served us water. Funny, because we hadn’t even walked 50 yards to reach her place, but still. Its called Mehmaan Nawazi 🙂

The mother of the girl (henceforth referred to as MOTG) sat down with us and asked the aunt about me. The aunt gave the necessary details after which, the MOTG asked me about my kids. Okay now, there is one topic one should NEVER ask me, specially when one is least interested in it. That is, ask me about my babies. I happen to be one of those women who go off into an epic description of their children’s activities right from the time they get up from bed to the time I put them to sleep. Yes, I even talk about their potty habits. So if you are going to glaze out after about 15 minutes, better not ask the question in the first place!! A lesson which I’m sure, the MOTG learnt very well that day. Another reason I refused to stop talking was that, the aunt had surprisingly clamped up. She refused to utter a word. The MOTG didn’t know what to talk about. A rather uncomfortable silence preceded her question about my kids. Naturally I hung on to the topic as long as I could.

Just as the MOTG was ready to fall off her chair out of sheer boredom, her husband walked in.

So the said father, all upright and stern, looked at me questioningly. He knew the aunt, but had never seen me before. Once again, I was introduced to the gentleman.

“So, are you from Pune”, he asked.

“No, not really. My mom’s from Pune, but my Dad’s from Chennai, but they are now settled in Bangalore….”,

“So, you are not really from Pune?”, he clarified

“Err…umm…I was born here…so I guess…..”, I said lamely.

“Where were you before you came here”, he barked

“Bangalore”, I retorted.

“Why is your father in Bangalore and not Chennai?”

“He likes Bangalore”.

“What about your mom?”

“Guess she likes it too”

“What does your father do?”

“He’s a retired Colonel. But he’s into a lot of activities…”

“Which unit?”


“Which Sapper ?”


“What was his last posting?”


By now, I was sweating profusely! I mean, even my In-laws never asked me those many questions in one go. Moreover, I wasn’t the reason why we were there. Just when I was ready to give the old man a piece of my mind (I wanted to , but couldn’t. Of course!) , the aunt chipped in, “We’d like to see the girl , please”.

Oh well. Some other time maybe. I’m not the kinds who take to third degree interrogation lightly. I thought up of a hundred witty remarks to the old man’s questions. I didn’t reply to him with those though 😦 . Pity, because I still seem to be coming up with witty quips . Alas, I doubt we’ll be coming together again for me to use those lines.

Anyway, so this girl comes in with a tray with cups of tea and biscuits (I kid you not!) and I could just look on with envy!! I mean, I ALWAYS wanted to do that!! But the girl….I swear she was the sweetest little thing this side of the country 🙂 . She wore specs but one look at her charming face and you forget that she has glasses on. I mean, the glasses suited her so well. Moreover, I had a real hard time believing she was a practicing doctor. She was so young and fragile 🙂

The girl sat down in a sofa. I looked at her and then looked down. She looked at me and then looked down. The aunt looked at her and looked down. The MOTG and the FOTG looked at us keenly. They didn’t look down.


That was me tapping my feet, albeit silently. I mean, I had NO idea what to do next. If the aunt had clamped up earlier, now she had gone into hiding in her shell. She totally disappeared into herself (she’s shy that way) and the parents of the girl continued to look at me.

“*Cough cough* Ahem. So what are your hobbies?”

Hobbies?? Gosh! Did I actually ask her that?! Hobbies? Really??

She looked a tad unnerved, but calmly replied, “I read when I get the time, but then, I don’t usually get the time to read. I’m rather busy with my practice”.

Point noted. Self-kick inflicted. Lesson learnt.

The MOTG and FOTG continued to stare.

“Err….umm…(Lightbulb) What are your expectations from the boy’s family?”, My palms felt a little damp then.

Here, I tried to look keen and interested. I must have passed , because before the girl could answer, her father quipped,

“We are looking for a decent family like ours. We have no sons. Everything that we have, belongs to our daughters. I have given them the best of education. Now it is up to the other parents to encourage her further in her pursuits”.

I almost applauded. I mean, it was well said, even though he spoke out of turn. I turned back to the girl.

“Well, it is indeed important for in-laws to support a DIL’s career.  I have supporting in-laws who have helped me a lot and took care of my kids and my extended work timings and blah…blah…blah…..”

“Yaaaaawwwnn”, went the aunt. Discreet she was not 😦

The FOTG turned to me and asked,

“What’s the boy’s name?”

“Z*****”, I replied.

“What does he do these days?”

I looked at the aunt. She kept looking down.

“Err …umm….aunty?”

The aunt finally gave her inputs. (Thank God!) The FOTG snapped  a few more questions, and the aunt replied as quickly as she could. I swear, I wasn’t the only one feeling the heat 😐 . Once the aunt was done, there was this uncomfortable silence again. We ALL were looking down, wondering what to say next. All, except the FOTG, whose eagle eyes were keenly scanning the expressions on the aunt’s face and mine. Spooky!!

“Want to see the clinic?” the FOTG barked suddenly.

The aunt and I literally jumped at his words.

“Sure”, I smiled weakly.

So he led us to the cabin and the traction room and the massage room and the steam bath. The latter was our last stop. The old man opened up the steam bath lid. I half expected him to order me inside. He didn’t. On hind-sight, it wouldn’t have been that bad. I’d LOVE to have a steam bath once 😀

“Do you know how much this costs?” he barked again.

“Umm no, not really.”

“Take a guess”

“Huh? Actually, I’ve never bought furniture before……so I…..”

“Furniture? ” He looked blank. Obviously. Since the steam bath was made of wood, I put two and two together and decided this kind of stuff is made in furniture show-rooms. Apparently not. As was evident from the old man’s confused look.

“He he…I was just joking” I said.

That line nearly got me killed. The three of them glared at me hard. And I mean REAL pierce-my-heart-and-see-me-bleed hard.

Cheery family this. Not!!

“How much” I finally caved.

“Fifty thousand”, he boomed proudly.

This time, I made the right noises of approval. He nodded his approval at my approval. Finally, we were getting on the right track of communication 😛

Once done with the steam bath, we trooped back to the main cabin. It was really well done. There was this shelf full of jars of ayurvedic pills and tree barks and stuff that looked like fungus. Impressive! The place also had a very pleasant smell of Multani mitti, sandalwood and camphor. It was pleasant all right. The MOTG handed the aunt and me little jars of pain-relief balm that her daughter had made personally. The aunt I can understand, but me?? Seeing the tiny jar in my hand made me give up my slouch and straighten my back for a change. I know now why she got the impression I needed it 😦

And oh, as we were bidding goodbye at the door, the FOTG comes up to me and hands me a packet.

“This is for you. Try it”.

I thanked him profusely and headed back home. On the way, I turned the packet over. It said FACE PACK.

Yes people, I have horribly pimply skin and the kind FOTG bothered to notice and provide a solution. How kind!! I’m still not sure how I feel about this 😐

Anyhow, the aunt loved the girl (as expected) and there will be a next meeting with the girl’s family when the aunt’s daughter comes from Dubai next week. I sincerely hope this match gets through. I would have snapped her up pronto for the BIL myself, but then, they wanted only guys who were doctors!! Alas, its our loss.

But hey!

I’ve gained a little experienced in Bride-hunting now 🙂  . I mean, I can recognize the signs, when to keep quiet, when to talk and what to ask. I’ve learned that its not always the bride’s family that is apprehensive. The grooms side could be equally apprehensive too. I’ve learned that educated daughters are their father’s pride and joy and that the parents are right in  expecting the best for the apple of their eyes. I’ve learned that sometimes, the boy’s family considers themselves extremely lucky just to have a well-educated daughter-in-law. I’ve learned that though matches are made in heaven, it is how we treat each other that makes those matches happen. I’ve learned that the boy’s family is not always in a position to pick and choose. Sometimes, the girls side are just that much better than them.

Best of all, I’ve learned that I’ve now grown up. After this, now this.

I feel ancient. Maybe its a good thing 🙂 .

(But I still miss my popsicle 😦 )

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Hello All, welcome to a new week, a week of schools reopening, diet regimes and exercise programs (the last two are strictly for me 😐 ). As usual, I had a hectic weekend, what with the usual weekend washings, cleaning, shopping, cooking and minding guests. As usual, its taken me the better half of Monday to accept the fact that the weekend is over and there is WORK to do 😦 (I’m still recuperating from the weekend hangover. For the record, I LOVE Mondays, because I get to come to office, which means I get to sit in one place instead of running myself ragged all around the house)

Anyhow, this weekend has been an eye-opener in many ways. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is always best to get professional help than solely relying on relatives, I’ve realized that its time to give the regular maid the boot, I’ve realized that it takes my kids about an hour’s time at the max to do permanent damage to their new school gear, I’ve realized that it hurts real bad to see my itty-bitty little kids dressed to go to school and I’ve realized that its time I overcame my complacent behavior and stood up to my in-laws when I feel they are not right. I’ve realized that my hubby might love me till the end of time, but he loves his family even more than that.  However ugly these home-truths might be, there are times when they have to be faced! And by jove, I’m slowly heading that way right now!!


I went school-stuff hunting.

*Sniff* My babies have grown up *sob sob*

So I bought two identical bags, two identical lunch boxes, two identical water bottles and two identical rain coats. Perfect 🙂 . Don’t want these two hankering over one colour that the other has! Believe me, I’ve found that it’s always wise to give the two of them identical stuff. So even if they swap, we’re good 🙂

But like I said above, one of life’s lessons that I’ve learnt is that one should NEVER disclose new stuff to kids before the school starts. This is because the twins have collectively managed to damage one school bag and break the strap of one water bottle. And the school hasn’t even started yet!! To boot, since I was feeling generous, I bought them both two magnetic writing boards. The slider of one and the metal tip of the pen of the other has been broken off . Generosity can take a hike, I say. These brats deserve nothing 😐


The twins looked adorable, their bags slung over the shoulders, bottles around their necks and cheeky grins in place. I admit I was all teary-eyed. The twins were super happy and refused to remove their bags. And I admit, they must have drunk a week’s supply of water from their new bottles 🙄 . Looks like they are all set for the 15th of this month when the school starts. Thats when the real rolling-on-the-floor-bawling will begin . And oh, I’m talking about me and NOT the kids. Just saying 🙂


The BF’s aunt was staying with us for the last 4 months, helping us tend to the GMIL. Well, the aunt lately developed a blockage in her bladder and had to undergo surgery herself. This was last Friday. So as of now, we have two patients to look after. The MIL is planning on extending her summer vacation till the time the aunt gets well.

Life’s just getting more and more interesting!!

(Not to say, tiring 😦 )


I had a chat with the doctor who comes in everyday to change the GMIL’s dressing. He was very forthright and practical and said that GMIL’s condition will take a very long time to heal. Maybe years.

Its been rather depressing around the house lately. There are questions mounting over questions. We can’t keep the aunt with us indefinitely. She has her own household to get back to. The MIL is now facing the tough question of taking premature retirement. I know she loves her job and it would kill her to stay at home full time. We could keep a nurse surely, but then we would need at least two of them to keep GMIL company 24/7 . The hunt for the nurses is on, but in case we aren’t able to get them, the MIL will likely quit. It doesn’t help that my two MILs just barely tolerate each other 😦

Like I said before, Life’s just getting more and more interesting !!


I had my first disagreement with the FIL. In fact, I did have the same issues before too, but lately, I find his arguments unreasonable. Frankly, I haven’t spoken to him about it yet. I doubt I ever will.

Anyhow, the issue is that my daughter is turning into a brat by the day. She has very strong vocal chords and doesn’t mind using them when she’s in one of her tantrums. As a result, if we don’t bow to her wishes, she immediately starts to bring the roof down. Now I’m a very practical person, I know that she will cry for some time and then realizing that it leads her nowhere, will make her toe the line. I don’t pamper my kids with their demands if they cry or howl, instead, I insist that they ask politely and if refused, learn to take it in the right way.

The problem is, when the FIL is home, he is severely disturbed by Lui’s crying. The minute she raises her voice, he immediately tells us to give in to her demands. Many times, I’ve tried reasoning with him that this will just spoil her further. But the FIL says he gets a headache when she cries so when he’s home, we should simply do anything and everything to make her stop.

Lui, being clever along with being vocal, has caught on to this trend. So she saves her worst tantrums for the time when the FIL is home. All my disciplining goes down the drain because he always asks us to bow down to her. The cunning little girl makes sure now that if I don’t, she will enter her grandfather’s room and start howling, making sure to elicit a response from her dada.

I really have no clue how to handle this situation. The MIL, being reasonable , has tried to intervene and let the FIL know that Lui is getting spoilt by his behavior. He brushes it off with a “discipline her some other time, just make her stop now”. The BF does not get into any argument with his father over the twins, so its unlikely that my FIL will ever change. My only hope rests on the MIL, but then, I can’t really talk to her about this without making her feel that I’m hurling accusations at her husband.

One tricky situation I’m in, I guess.


I’ve decided that the regular maid has to go. She just has to go. In a period of 6 months, she has worked for about 3 months approximately. Not a good record I say, specially when you have an ailing granny and working women at home. We rely on her to ease some of our work and if she fails doing that, I guess we should give her the boot. The MIL has never deducted the maid’s salary for the missing days, citing her poverty issues. But if the poor themselves aren’t concerned where their next meal will come from, do we need bother??


Sometimes, one should trust the critics and stay away from certain movies. Stay far, far away. And when you don’t, be prepared for a foul mood.

I saw “Thank You”.

That is something the director will never hear from my lips!!

And oh, I also saw “Dum Maro Dum” the previous evening. Is it a coincidence that Vidya Balan plays the deceased-wife’s-cameo-role in both the movies or does she like making those 2-min appearances where she gets to simper at the screen and then play dead? Believe me, her role in both the movies was so identical, it almost gave me goosebumps 😀


The BF loves me to no end. Frankly, I don’t know where the end is, but I know that he loves his family beyond my end. In fact, right this minute I should be on a “Maun Vrat” and refuse to talk to him, but since I know he didn’t mean any harm and can be rather daft at times, I forgive him.

Anyway, the background first. After a looong time, the BF took some time out yesterday to take me and the kids on a long drive. We didn’t really have any particular destination in mind, but since the weather was wonderful, it seemed a crime to stay indoors 🙂

While we were leaving, the MIL suggested that we have dinner out (she being the kind understanding type of woman who knows her DIL craves for some private time with the husband. God bless her ). We left, drove around some, checked out the fast-growing outskirts of the city which were nothing but fields a couple of years back. The BF asked me about dinner. I told him to head anywhere. So he told me about this restaurant which served some amazing dishes and we agreed to go there. I was SO looking forward to some quality time with the hubs and the kids. Its been ages since we could get away from the home for dinner.

Halfway to the venue, the BF calls up his brother and asks for his whereabouts. The BIL had a working day yesterday and was still some distance from home. So the BF took a detour and retraced back home, to pick up his brother for dinner.

This is when I should have kicked a storm and threatened to leave the brothers to dine alone. But I didn’t. If I had, it would have ruined the mood of the evening for everyone. The weather was far too perfect to do that 😀

Suffice to say, the Hubby considers me as so integral to his family that it never occurred to him that I might object. His gentle assumption that I look forward to a meal with his brother as much as he does, is at once humbling as it is confounding!! I guess the poor BIL realized it too, seeing that he quickly gobbled his meal and left the restaurant with the fidgety twins to give me and the BF some privacy.

Everyone in the family realizes my need for time with my husband,expect the said husband himself!!

Where does that leave me then?!


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Wordless Wednesday


Just kidding 😀

You really think I can be kept away from being Word-y?

Anyhow, after the long rant in yesterday’s post (which I confess was about to go into more deeper anguish but I managed to reign in the impulse and end it quick) I think I’ll do a feel-good post. Okay, so maybe not that feel-good for you, but definitely for me 🙂

You see, since the GMIL is in the hospital (still!!), the onus of looking after her beloved plants fell on me.

Me!! The serial plant-killer! The one whose very touch caused leaves to shrivel and buds to die before they bloomed 😦 I have poison in my finger tips  I confess, there has to be a reason why plants never survive me. Even this time, once GMIL left for the hospital, ALL the plants died within the first week. Obviously, I could NEVER remember to water them in time. Moreover, the awful heat made sure that we kept the doors to the terraces closed, to avoid hot winds blasting into the house!

Anyhow, after much hand-flailing and cursing self for not watering the mites in this heat, I got back to Operation Recover.

I watered the plants, added the manure. Placed the pots in strategic locations so that they got just the right amount of sunlight. I prayed , I sang. I did everything but pull at the shoots to sprout a leaf. Gradually though, nature favoured my efforts and the plants started springing back to life.

I’m glad to see that before the GMIL comes home this weekend, her little garden is alive and thriving, pretty green leaves sprouting from every stem. I haven’t *errrr..* failed in looking after them 😀

So folks, whatdya think??

No idea what this thing is called


Aloe Vera


This is the first time I saw purple flowers on Tulsi!!


There are many more plants, but I never got around to clicking all of them. I’m just glad they are all alive, which, given my reputation with plants, is a HUGE achievement 😀

GMIL will be back this weekend and I’m sure this time around I won’t get the grunt of disapproval I got last time 😀

Fingers crossed!!

And yeah, I’ll be at the mini-garden every spare second until she is well enough to look after them herself. After that, I’ll just wash my hands off these greenies. Literally 😐

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Hiya Friends.

I’ve been pretty busy at work lately and have very little time to blog 😦

Yesterday was a day of recharged citizens and cricket conversations. For the record, I took an active participation in all the cric-conversations  though I know zilch about the game. You couldn’t have figured that out if I hadn’t told you, I was that good 😀

Today is no better. I’m neck-deep in work and now, after coming back from a lunch with BFS, I’m stuffed to the gills and need cellotape to keep my eye-lids open.

Anyhow, I’ll take the effort and update you about the weekend 🙂

This weekend was much like the ones before it, though I have mixed reactions to all that was/is happening around me. Quite a mixture, I admit. Read on, if you aren’t bored already 🙂

We had our fair share of cricket craziness on Saturday. The BF glued himself to the couch in front of the TV and changed from a silent, charming gentleman to a profanity-spewing, frothing-at-the-mouth species (which I would NOT relate to anything human!). Thankfully, by Sunday morning, he recovered enough to be back to his normal self.

As for me, well……..frankly, I don’t dig cricket much. Win-win lose-lose, it’s all the same, it’s just a game!! I used up the time by making sure the twins stayed out of the BF’s way, cotton balls firmly clogging their ears (wouldn’t want the kids to hear too much swearing, you know!) and I personally got down to making ‘besan ke laddoo’ with my own two hands. Alas, right after I was done and was doing the rounds of the house, I found, to my utter dismay, that NONE of the family members is keen on besan-ke-laddoo,whoever’s hands they might be made from! The MIL was encouraging though. She claimed they were purrrfect and had a couple to convince me. I had a couple myself and was convinced. They were damn good, I must say 😀

Next time, I’ll stick to Gulab-Jamuns which are everyone’s favourite. Plus, they come in ready-made packs. Saves me half the trouble 😀

PS:  a snippet of conversation with the BF :-

Me : SL is batting first?

BF : *grunt*

Me : (pointing to Indian team) They lost the toss??

BF :  (glaring ) WE lost the toss 👿

Point noted, M’lord.


The nanny bunked on Sunday (I’m drafting a BIG post on why we are still not kicking her out. Will post it soon. I promise). I had a hundred things on my shopping list , but once again, it’s on hold. I’m taking a 2-week break in May to visit the parents and wanted to buy some stuff for them. But as usual, looks like I’ll be dumping last-minute bought stuff in my luggage 😦 .

But hey, I made Pongal for breakfast on Sunday and guess who LOVED it??

The GMIL!!

“Hey Bhagwan!! Mera jeevan safal ho gaya” 

Jokes apart, for once, the GMIL really, really liked what she was eating, in spite of her never seeing it before in her entire life! For the record, the ONLY cuisine the granny likes is what she knows how to cook. Everything else is worthy of the trash can!

Needless to say, I’m tickled pink since Sunday 🙂


While on Granny, guys, the poor dear is hospitalized today. By the time I hit publish, she would have come out of the op-theatre. Apparently, the metal rods in her thigh were causing her much grief. Though she had started walking a bit using the walker, it wasn’t without much pain. The last X-ray revealed that the metal rods and screws were digging into her flesh the wrong way . The operation today is to remove the rods and place some other contraption in its place (not sure exactly what it is).

At her age, I can only imagine the agony of going through another thigh-long cut and stitches. Hopefully, this time the operation will be better and healing as good as before. Unfortunately, the GMIL is not as peppy this time as she was before. She even sobbed last saturday because she hated being dependent on others. I hold myself to blame partially. Actually, with India winning the match and the fire-crackers and hooting and loud music everywhere, I didn’t hear the granny calling out to me. She needed to use the bed-pan and by the time I heard her and responded in the like, it was almost 40 minutes. She cried then, because she had to hold on till someone heard her. I felt like a sack of rotten eggs then.

But I was glad when she cheered up the next morning after the pongal breakfast. Pat-on-the-back, if I say so myself 😀

Do pray for her. She needs all the prayers and love you people can send across.

Thanks 🙂


We took the twins to a park on Sunday (Sarasbaug, for the Puneites). This park is famous for having loads of fun rides and eating joints lining the street outside. The twins had fun on some of the rides, though they refused to show their pleasure!! If you see the snaps, they look like the cheeriest couple of kids this side of the GMT.


They look like this :-

While riding elephants

While driving a jeep

Awfully pleased with the ball

Bursting with joy at the idea of posing!

In my defense, I can say that the kids refused to get off once the rides were over. Its just that they aren’t very expressive about it, are they?!

Or maybe, they are just hungry!

(Or was it me?)

The BF refused to buy anything other than a ball and a balloon for the two.

Cotton candy?, I cooed.

No, he said.

Paani-puri?, I wheedled.

Of course not. Not from here, he reasoned.

Bhutta?? I squeaked, glancing longingly at the roasting maize.

And who will look after the kids, he countered.







I returned home as grumpy as the kids. Swore to the MIL that I’m NEVER taking that man to a park again. The MIL was equally aghast at the no-food n0-drink curfew set by the BF. She wiped the tears off my cheeks and consoled that henceforth only the two of us shall take the kids out to Sarasbaug. I sniffled back in pleasure 🙂

And so folks, that’s how I’ve been busy. How about y’all?? Do drop me a line about your weekend 🙂

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Because in all likelihood, I’ll probably chew off your head for no fault of your’s.

If you haven’t guessed already, I’ve had a rotten weekend. And a not-so-good beginning to the new week. I want to wail and scream, wallow in self-pity and have oodles of it showered on me. I want to be pampered silly and told that like ain’t all that bad after all and life can be rosy and so on. I want a giant Fish-o-Fillet burger and a jumbo coke right now!!

But since all that isn’t gonna happen, I guess the only way out is to vent out my woes and release the pressure building up in my head. Or heart! Frankly, I have no idea why I feel so hurt, when nothing is actually paining, if you get what I mean!!

Anyway, here’s a brief summary of what all went wrong :-

Saturday :-

1) The nanny came in late.

2) Had visitors the whole day.

3) The twins turned up the crank-factor up by several notches.

4) I was PMSy (another painful story here, but not elaborating for obvious reasons 😀 )

5) Had a lot of shopping to do, could make time for it only around 1pm. In the heat!! I’m grilled tender !

6) More guests in the evening. Coffee, tea, biscuits, cool-drinks for the kids. New guests – Coffee, tea repeat.

7) Got dinner ready.MIL and FIL went out for a family function in the night. BIL called to say he wont be home for dinner. BF said he wasn’t interested in what was prepared at home.

8) The young doctor who stays two floors up wasn’t available to administer GMIL her injections. Got chided (albeit mildly) by the FIL for not paying attention and booking her time earlier! Yeah right! I wonder why such responsibilities aren’t given to the two other men in the house who spent the day glued to the TV?!!

Sunday :-

1) Made Uttappa and chutney for breakfast. BAD idea. Was standing at the gas stove for more than an hour, serving hot uttapas to 8 adults (excluding me) and two kids.

2) Made lunch, washed dishes.

3) Maid on leave. That resulted in 2).

4) The twins fought over me. *gasp!!*  Let me repeat – they fought over me! Just when I wanted to take a break and rest my head for a few minutes!!

5) Guests. Guests. More guests. Chat, smile, talk,smile.

6) Coffee, tea, biscuits. Repeat.

7) FIL brings in 2kgs of carrots.”Gajar-ka-halwa”, everyone screamed. “Who’ll take up the grating work”, I asked of everyone. Believe me, I’ve never seen people disappearing before 😐 .Grate, grate , grate. Cook.

8) The in-laws went out for a wedding. The BIL said he wont be home for dinner (again) . So I thought of resting for a while. The BF mentioned he had to buy shoes. I told him to go out and do the needful. He insisted that I accompany him. This decision was taken at 8pm. Close to the twin’s dinner time. I said we should feed the kids first. He said the store would be closed. We’ll feed them something outside. I acquiesced. BIG mistake.

9) The twins were cranky 5 minutes after stepping into the mall. Took us a while to hunt for the shoes section in Shopper’s stop. One confession here – Even BigBazaar is better managed in terms of space than Shopper’s Stop!! Anyhow, while the BF was busy choosing his footwear, I was being driven nuts by two kids clamouring to be carried in my arms. Lui issued threats, shouting my name out aloud. I got loads of raised eyebrows and “cant-she-manage-her-children” looks. A few were kind enough to throw a bit of pity my way 😐

10) The BF chose shoes which I hated on sight. He refused to exchange them.

11) The twins were howling by this time and we made quick for the basement parking. Lui tried to outrun us and fell down, bruising her knees badly in the bargain. But my angel girl (YES!! I call her an angel here) who cries if I don’t wash her bum, was mighty controlled .She didn’t cry or whimper, just said plainly that she was hurt and it was paining 😦 . I assured her that we would go home soon and wash the wound. By now, it was way past the twin’s dinner time.

12) The BF suggested dropping by a burger joint and grabbing some burgers. I reminded him that there was plenty of cooked home at home, stuff which I had spent time and effort in preparing and he better have it. We even thought of stopping by McD’s and grabbing some fries for the kids, but Lui was beginning to scratch at her wound and I wanted to wash it as soon as possible. So we headed back home.

13) By the time we reached home, Shobs was so hungry that he became irritable and angry. But he had his food, thankfully 🙂 . Lui had a little too, but then suddenly, she started throwing up. And threw up everything she had since evening 😦 . She started crying, Shobs was crying, the BF got more irritable by the minute. My guess is he was feeling guilty for the kids’ plight, but was too proud to admit it. I was exhausted after the long day and was barely in a condition to manage the two. The BF took over Lui and I took over Shobs. We went into separate rooms and tried to put the kids to sleep.

14) By the time my head hit the pillow, it was 12.

Monday :-

1) Maid on leave 🙄

2) Decided on making gobi-parathas for breakfast. BIG mistake. Thud thud thud *banging my head on the wall* . WHEN will I learn?!!

3) Cranky kids, level 100x .

And as I type this, I get a call from the nanny that the twins are both suffering from loosies 😦

Am rushing off home people. And yeah, if you meet me on the way, AVOID!! Take a detour, turn back.



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