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More on¬†that in a moment. Let me first speak about the little girls ūüôā .

There’s a reason mothers feel a different kind of draw towards their daughters. The main one being that we women are still girls at heart. And when we have a tiny baby with big eyes and silky hair in our arms, it brings out the girl in us. We crave to comb her hair, decorate it with colourful clips, hairbands¬†and ribbons. We LOVE to dress them up in fancy outfits, sometimes, even taking the effort to stitch some ourselves (I did stitch a tiny one-piece dress with red trimming and a red satin ribbon at the waist. And I did it by hand. No sewing machine ūüėÄ . It’s a pity it never struck me to take a snap then ūüė¶ . the dress is long gone, donated to some relative, I’m not sure who ūüė¶¬† ).

The BF noticed that I’m partial towards RS and mentioned it once. In my defense, I can say that I’m partial only in terms of dressing them. I can dress SS in jeans/shorts and a T-shirt and I’m done. But with RS, I take time to choose a top, select a skirt/jeans, then select matching shoes and other accessories to go with it. Somehow, these little things give me a lot of joy. When I go shopping ,I end up buying more stuff for RS than SS (guilty here ūüė¶ ). Yeah, I even buy her clips and hair-bands even though she barely has any hair. But a mother can wish, can’t she ūüėÄ ?!!

Though I don’t buy these things for SS, my boy likes them just as much as RS!! So he brings me a clip and asks me to put it on his head ūüėÄ . Or he extends his fingers for the nails to be¬†painted by the nanny, when she paints RS’s. Sometimes, I feel that we are so stringent in being gender-biased that we forget that little boys and girls don’t know the difference between themselves yet!! The BIL¬†was once annoyed when SS showed him his nail-polish. But like I said at that time, what does the little tyke know?! Why should we instill regulations limiting his scope¬†to experiment right¬†now??

What he sees is bright, colourful stuff and he is as naturally attracted to it as RS. Who can blame him? With time, he will obviously come over these habits and so I’m not overly worried if my little boy shows a preference for pink shoes over blue, or likes playing with utensils from the kitchen or wants me to put a hairband on his head. He’s just a baby¬† and I see no threat!

When RS does the monkeying around, climbing over tables, jumping from the sofa, bossing over¬†other kids, everyone applauds her for being a “tomboy”. But when SS (being a mild child by comparison), prefers “cooking food” with toys or plays with baby dolls, the men in the family panic over him turning into a sissy!! WHY?? Why does he have to prove that he is a ‘male’ specimen?? Should I then¬†expect him to turn into a bully and only have fist-fights for entertainment?? OF COURSE NOT!!

I think we fret too much these days. The more the world gets liberal, the more we try to hide under the security of¬†ignorance. The slightest use of the colour pink¬† by a male immediately translates to questions about his sexual orientation! Why the fixation with it people?? Pink is JUST A COLOUR!!¬† Like Purple (which is now widely called as the ‘colour of pride’ by the gay community). My question is, why colour-code people? Why do we have to slot people based on the colour they like?

And worse, why do we have to slot kids?!! In most cases, boys have it worse than girls. Today, a young boy¬†would rather stay hungry than take a pink lunchbox to school, just because his class-mates would then call him names which would be demeaning. Does this make sense?? Who has instilled in the other children’s mind that ‘pink is bad’ ?!! What do little boys know about being gay, anyway?!!

They are yet to understand the world. Yet to absorb the nature and the myriad colours around them. Yet to make a preference, take a liking. Does it then make sense to set-up barriers in this learning phase?

On that note, let me say that when the twins were born, I never bothered with the pink and blue convention. SS was as many times in pink as RS. People would point to the pink-capped SS and ask if he was the girl and I’d ask them what made them think so. “Because of the pink cap”, they’d say and I’d go, “So??” . After which people generally didn’t have a reply. Because, like I said before, “Pink is just a colour”!!!

And like I dress up RS most of the times, I sometimes dress up SS too. He looks cute as a button and enjoys all the fuss and attention I shower on¬†him. I don’t see any harm in it. Do you??



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Oil spill off South Africa

Toxic waste escaping the broken dam in Hungary

 

Dog covered with toxic slude. May not survive

Oil spill off Mumbai coast

British Petroleum oil spill

BP oil spill damage

Kuwait Oil well fires

Chernobyl gas leak

Gas leak, Bhopal

There is so much damage that we are responsible for!

When do we stop?

When do we accept that the Earth may not be able to bear our torture any more?

When do we realize that the place we leave behind for our kids is not worth living in??

We are guilty and we are accountable.
Alas, we may not be punished, but our kids will. Its time for us to take cognisance of what legacy we leave behind!

The Earth may not be so obliging forever !!



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Funny, isn’t it?

I mean, I would have found it a wee bit funny if it was printed as a headline in a newspaper or a magazine.

But it wasn’t. And its funny in the least.

My aunt, a qualified , practising doctor, died of Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis (TENS)  ,also called as a severe form of Stevens Johnson Syndrome.

I’ve provided a link which does not have any images with it. Because they are too gory to watch. And it doesn’t help for me to recollect that my aunt looked far worse than what these images show.

The magnitude¬†of her suffering, till the end was too painful to even express. And it’s heart-wrenching¬†to realize the amount of pain she must have¬†borne. She, being a tough woman herself, gave a good fight. And there were sparks of her getting well, like the day before her death, she was coherent, craving for some coffee and juice. Her agony was multiplied fourfold because she couldn’t believe that she,a¬† doctor, could cause herself such misery. Till the time she could speak, she kept complaining that she must have lost her doctor’s touch if she could cause such damage to herself.

For the record, my aunt was suffering from malaria. She was undergoing treatment from her family doctor, a certain Dr.G. Now, we have a very adverse opinion of Dr.G ,because till date, all the patients in my family who’ve been treated under him, have suffered. But the aunt looked up to him a lot. He was her mentor and guide. So when he suggested that she take Tamilfu pills in addition to her malaria pills for “added protection”, my aunt didn’t think twice. My cousins procured the pills for her and the rest, as they say, is history.

The doctor is currently¬†absconding. No one knows where he is. I’m sure he’s hiding behind a rock somewhere, certain that we’ll be slapping him with a lawsuit, which he deserves. But my uncle is not bothered. He says no amount of lawsuit will bring back his wife . It was their fate and they’ll have to bear the consequences of their wrong judgement. After all, my aunt herself took the medication. Being a doctor, she should have realized that mixing strong doses of different medications is not good for the body. Alas, there are too many “what ifs..” going about, but none of them is of any use now. What is done¬†is done.

The weekend was traumatic. We’ve been through a bad loss. My uncle’s still in denial mode, not venting his grief, but rather laughing and joking loudly, his voice boisterous as though nothing has happened. As if he’s still thinking that its a big joke and my aunt would one day magically come back ūüė¶ . We can only look at him and mourn . There is nothing we can do here, other than wait for time to do its healing act.

My cousins are faring much better. The elder one has taken up the reins of the family . He made¬†sure things moved smoothly, from handling the hospital formalities to arranging the funeral to the post-funeral rituals. He’s standing strong and its a relief to see that his father and younger brother derive strength from him. I’m sure his mom would have been so proud of him.

I’d like to thank you all sincerely¬†for your prayers and wishes. Though it may not bring back my aunt, it will at least put her soul at rest.



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Remember my earlier post on child leash? The one where I¬†felt offended with the device called “Child Harness” ?!!

Well, a few days back, a good friend from office sent me a mail containing a set of snaps of the same child harness. Just looking at the snaps strengthened my belief that this device is seriously loathsome.

Check this out :-

See?? No difference !!

And then, two days back , MySoul forwarded me this link.

Now, frankly, I have serious doubts on the parenting skills of people who come up with such ‘inventions’. Though, in all fairness, the author of that post had the sense to use the word ‘Idiotic’ as part of the title . Some consolation, that ūüėź

The inventions speak of sheer laziness and shirking of responsibilities. But the last item on that list totally got to me. I tried mentioning what it is but I’m having a tough time pushing down the ball of bile that rises up my throat every time I think about it!! It even makes that harness look good!!

Check out the inventions here .

On another offshoot, I just found that the last item on the list is also cooked and eaten¬† ūüė° ¬†.

GAG ūüėź !!!!

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Drat that Bag!!!

 To,

The-women-who-sling-their-hand-bag/purses-over-their-shoulder-while-riding-a-two-wheeler.

Dear Miss I-wont-Let-Go-Of-My-Bag,

There are a few things I’d like to bring to your attention first¬†–

1) Its been raining here for the last few days. Note that. Its going to rain here everyday. They call it the Monsoon.

2) There is something¬†called as a ‘dicky’ or storage¬†space in your scooterette.

3) There is also a possibility of something called as a goods-hook under your seat (above the footrest) or maybe under the bike’s dashboard.

4) Read the newspapers. There are cases of bag-snatching incidents practically everyday.

And now, to the real purpose¬†of ¬†this message –

1) It’s not¬†funny when you are driving at high-speed¬†and your bag’s strap slips down your shoulder. I know you manage to put it back, but not without much zigzagging¬†at high-speed and enough to scare¬† the wits off the¬†riders behind you.

2) If the bag is so precious that you pull it towards the front and then hunker down over it to prevent it from getting wet, in the bargain, making sure that you pay very little attention to the people driving in front and around you, I suggest you make use of the area under you. Of course I mean the dicky and NOT the expanse of your posterior!!

3) If the bag is bigger than you (which seems to be¬†the normal case these days. Whats it with treating oneself as menial labourers!! I’ve seen awfully petite women lugging the biggest, ugliest monstrosities!!) and you have difficulty in maintaining your balance, do a favour. Put down the bag on the footrest. Believe me, your designer bag is not more expensive than your life!!

4) If you are busy driving on a lonely road, and someone snatches at your handbag, what exactly do you intend to do? Do you intend to die saving your bag or maybe get jerked badly enough to crash anyway and lose your bag? Either way, how would you benefit?? I’m rather curious to know!!

I seriously hope that this slinging-bag-on-shoulder-while-driving is just a trend and wouldn’t last long!! I mean, your ¬†fashion-street bag may be as precious to you as diamonds…but definitely not when it threatens my life, which you do when you apply sudden brakes or swerve suddenly, just so that your bag doesn’t slip off your non-existent shoulder!!

On that note, I hope you and I are on the same bag. I mean, page. Of course!!

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Aaaarrghh!!!

Feel like yanking the hair off my head.Or maybe HER head!!

Whatever!

You know, I’ve been raving and ranting over bad manners since the time I was old enough to understand what categorizes as bad manners. I’ve seen plenty of grown-ups behaving in an atrocious manner¬†and I just cluck my tongue in pity for their offsprings. In many cases, cultural difference accounts for a lot of differences and such instances may be excused.

But not what I saw on Friday afternoon.And Oh, that reminds me, I started writing this post on Friday itself , but then let it sit in the drafts till I cooled down. Because I was sure that in my anger, I might lose out on the objectivity of the situation and may write something that I would regret later.

I’m sufficiently cool now. But I’m still MAD!! Every time I recollect that scene, I feel I should have done something about it, but didn’t.

Anyhow, here is what happened :-

We , the people of my company who are deployed¬†on the client side along with me, went out for a team lunch on Friday afternoon. Our managers were joining us at the venue , so we all left accordingly. Of the 16 people there, four were women and the rest were men. One of the girls, lets call her X, was pregnant and in her 7th month. This woman, though a “Hi-Bye” colleague, is quite brash. I’ve never had any altercations with her before and had no reason to believe that one day I’d love to knock some senses into her!!

Anyway, while waiting for the managers to arrive, we went ahead and ordered the starters. Since she’s pregnant, I asked her to name her choice and we ordered all that she wanted. If that wasn’t privilege enough, we even asked the waiters to serve her first . This lady started eating as soon as the starters arrived. We didn’t mind. The waiters served the rest of the people and we started eating when the managers joined us. By now, she was on her second round. We still didn’t mind. Shortly, while we were all in our first round, she asked the waiters to empty ALL the starters on her plate!!¬†¬†A couple of guys shot her shocked looks, but didn’t say anything. And being considerate towards a pregnant woman, even I thought of overlooking her gaffe.

BUT, it took all my effort to NOT get angry, when after a couple of bites, this woman realizes she wasn’t liking those starters after all (maybe her taste buds didn’t kick in till after the second round!) and asked the waiters to clear her plate.

So ,not only did she have the gall to pile her plate without bothering to politely ask if anyone else was keen on seconds (which many were), she also had the audacity to throw away her heaped up food!!

I don’t know what ticked me off more!!

The sheer blatant impunity of being uncourteous or the horrific wastage of food!!

On hindsight,I really feel I should have given her a piece of my mind, but seriously wonder if it would have mattered!! ¬†One might gain education and secure a job in the best of companies…..but basic etiquettes are not a part of their education or job profile , so such instances are pretty common. If they haven’t learnt such simple, trivial manners of how to behave when in a crowd in spite of being in¬†a ‘professional’ ,¬†what hope is there of me instilling it in them now?!

I really don’t know if pregnant women lose their senses !! I mean, when I was pregnant, I was hungry ALL the time, but I was home on a long leave and rarely , if ever , went out anywhere.

So , giving the lady the benefit of doubt, tell me folks, do pregnant women behave like this? Have you known anyone else who does queer things like this? Or is it just plain BAD Manners and not pregnancy related??

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Our regular maid (the one for utensils) came home yesterday, only to inform¬†us that she has to rush to the hospital where her nephew was admitted and couldn’t do the work that day. The MIL enquired about the nephew and the maid had this to say –

Apparently, the young lad was refueling his bike with petrol from a bottle and his friend, in a moment of fun , or rather, his idea of it, threw a burning match into the tank.

It would require a  fool to not realize what happened next.

The tank exploded in the nephew’s face. The young lad, barely out of his teens , had his face scarred beyond recognition.

As for the friend, I have no idea what happened to him. Frankly, I don’t even know whether I should care.

Just the other day, the SIL narrated an incident where her uncle’s neighbour lost their young son in a gruesome accident. The father had sent out the young guy to buy some stuff .On the way to the market¬† place, the guy met some of his friends who challenged him to a race on his bike . The boy accepted the challenge.

While racing, the friends cut across a truck carrying iron bars used in construction. The driver of the truck braked hard to avoid a collision. In the bargain, the rods skidded out from the back and plunged right into the young boy’s throat, who unfortunately, was right behind the truck.

The victims here were the young boy and the truck driver. One lost his life, and the other most probably lost his license and his job, not to mention, was even possibly arrested. FOR NO FAULT OF HIS!!!

Another such incident was narrated to me by my senior in a previous company. In a fit of brashness, my senior once took his bike and sped down the road, only to collide badly with a truck. Result: He lost the use of one of his legs and now has to wear a prosthetic one. At least, he survived, unlike the case mentioned above, where a young life was lost for NO BLOODY REASON!!!

Who benefits from these ideas of fun?

Why do young boys have to display their manliness in such silly, ignorant, senseless ways?

Why do we see so many young boys handed bikes and even car keys at the onset of their teens ?

My grouse is not just against the young lads who know no better than to throw burning matches into a petrol tank. He could be an uneducated ,unemployed youngster full of inner angst for reasons best known to him. There are many¬†well-educated¬†parents who swell with pride when they hand over car keys to a 15-year-old, content that they’ve gained the ‘cool-parents’ tag from their child’s peers, but not aware that they themselves¬†lead their child towards self-destruction. And what happens when these very youngsters cause accidents? Cause crashes that may or may not take their own life, but definitely put some other innocent’s life at risk? Who is responsible then??

Speeding and over taking on a highway, taking up drugs or smoking, ganging up and raping a woman, when did all these things become a sport? Don’t young boys have anything better to do these days? How could they even believe that such activities could give them the thrills and chills they crave.

Is this fun??

Guys reading this post, has anyone of you faced similar challenges from your friends? Did you accept that challenge(not that I expect you to confess, but just asking).

Is there any such incident in your life that you regret doing?

I’m rather curious here, because I have NO idea why the male mind works in such a destructive manner!!

Help me understand!!

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