Archive for the ‘…I think…’ Category

Rather late in the day if you ask me, but better late than never, right?!

I’ve been meaning to compile a list of New Year resolutions that will, InshaAllah, last for more than the end of this month πŸ˜€

No, I’m not opting for weight reduction, eating healthier, working less and the likes. Those kind of resolutions don’t work. The ones I’m aiming are for better personality development. Thats right. I have a crappy personality which makes me fit for the role of a doormat. I’ve been walked over all my life and I guess its time now to put an end to it. The worst part is thatΒ  I know my one major failing and yet I’ve never actively done anything to counter it. The kids are growing up fast and absorbing things rapidly. I want to bring about a change in myself before they get to see this weakness in me 😐

So, without further dillydallying, in no particular order, presenting my list for 2013 –

1) Listen More


Jumper-of-conclusions, thats me πŸ™‚ . My overactive mind cannot wait for someone to finish what they are saying and I chip in with inputs even in their slightest pauses. This either puts them off track for a while before they recover and collect themselves or worse, they believe I’m mocking them and they drop the topic . This is something which upsets me because inadvertently, I hurt the people I try to ‘help’.

So yeah, unless the pause stretches for more thanΒ  a minute, I’ll keep quiet and wait. Sometimes, its the silence which speaks. I need to learn to listen to those!

2) Talk Less


Follows 1) right in the footsteps. Foot-in-mouth-itis needs to be controlled. This is the year to keep the foot where it rightfully belongs – in the shoes.

3) Say No


I took me more than a decade to finally muster up the courage and say NO to a friend recently. My only guilt is that I replied through a message and not upfront. I think I’m as much of a coward as she is. This year, I plan to say No if I mean No. Bending backwards is not really doing me any good. There are very few people who are ready to do it for me and giving out free service at the cost of my time, my job and my kids is no longer acceptable to me. So this year, if I cant make it to a party, I’ll say, “No, I cannot come”, instead of evading it with a “Maybe”, “I’ll see if I can”, etc. If people make me run errands when I barely have 5 minutes to myself, I’ll say, “No, but I won’t be able to do your bidding. Find someone else!”

Its not easy, since I’m a very affable person and my friends know that I’ve always been around for them any time of the day/year. Alas, some of these very friends have misconstrued my loyalty as servility and have no qualms in making me run around for them. Not anymore.

4) Speak Up


Not to be confused with 2). While I generally talk nineteen to a dozen when not required, I somehow clam up when I should be speaking up! Apart from my lack of ability to say ‘No’, I also lack the guts to speak out at the right time. When a situation occurs, I’m mostly tongue-tied, falling silent and facingΒ  misery. Later, I look back and wonder, “what if I’d said this”, or “I should have said that”. Its futile, really, because the moment is long past. The people who should have heard what I have to say, have long ago left my company, taking my silence for acceptance of what they say. Not anymore. This year, I plant o speak up right then and there, when I find something which does not suit my sensibilities.

5) Worry Less


He he πŸ™‚Β  . Okay, this one’s a bouncer, coz seriously, I have the genes of the most manic worriers in history – my parents! My every pore worries. Considering there are millions of them constricting their cells in worry right this minute, this is going to be one very impossible task. But, I’ve got to at least attempt to take things easy , no? Its not as if I can measure the quantity of worry I indulge in on a daily basis. But if I can sleep easy at night without a zillion thoughts clouding my mind, I will call myself victorious πŸ™‚

6) Laugh More


Hmmm….This one’s not difficult but given that my preference for humour hovers over the sardonic to dry-wit, laughing out loud is not an activity I indulge in often. I’m more ofΒ  a smirk or giggle type. Joke books can draw a chuckle from me, nothing more. The BF’s jokes take me one step closer to suicide. How exactly does one laugh out loud often?? I’ve heard laughing is good for the heart and I want my ticker to last as long as possible! Any pointers?

7) Shop Less


As I write this, I have 3 new hand bags sitting in my cupboard. I bought a new pair of sandals last Sunday when I already had two new ones awaiting inauguration 😐 . Last month, I bought 4 pairs of jeans for the twins on a whim and the very next week, they were gifted 2 each by my family when they came visiting. The family also gifted me dress materials (3 of them) and yet, I went ahead and bought two new ones for myself. In the interim, the MIL also gifted me one.  Lui and Shobbs have close to 15 sets of shoes between them, some which were worn only one or twice before the kids outgrew them.

I buy more stuff than I use. Its not as though I’m a compulsive buyer. I’m just a reckless one. I buy stuff even though I know its not needed! Needless to say, my bank account is always hovering over the ’empty’ mark. I just manage to get through the month. I have no personal savings to speak of and in nearly a decade of work experience, I’ve never collected enough money to buy myself even a pair of gold ear-rings!

Time to rethink the spending habit, methinks 😐

8) Read More


Need I say more πŸ™‚ ?!

9) Value Family

val-familyLast year, I did the unforgivable thing of keeping my family secondary to my work. I spent more time at work than with kids. When parents came over, I gave them a few hours. This, after I saw them after nearly 2 years!! All because there were deadlines at work, the dev code was breaking , there were hundreds of issues, etc. It ALL seems so trivial now. The code still has a hundred issues, we knew they would be there. 5 months of dev-code cannot be tested in a week’s time! Yet, I put in all the hours I could. Leaving early in the morning and returning around 11:30 in the night. I ended up having an accident and yet reported to work!! All bruised and in pain, but seated at my machine and hard at work. For some unknown reason, my manager casually mentioned in my appraisal that I didn’t seem ‘serious’ about my work. All because I used to laugh off the physical pain and the hurt within at being deprived time with people I love. It was misconstrued as my carelessness and lack of seriousness. Oh-hum! Each to his own, I guess.

It did teach me something vital though. Work is temporary. Family is eternal. I have to be there with them. They may not need me, but I sure as hell need them!!

10) Enjoy Friends


What would we do without friends? Last year, I all but lost contact with most of my friends. Didn’t call, rarely messaged. My FB account is all but non-existant and my one window to the world, my blog, was snatched away from me by the sys-admins 😦

I was off blogging and off contact with friends for so long that when I call friends these days, I start with, “Remember me??”

To correct this one error, me and the BF started off the new year by having lunch with our dear friends and then spending the day together. He is, after all, my Best Friend πŸ˜€ (I really should rename him from BF to BFF. It would be more apt!!)

I also need to re-think my equations with people I’ve called friends as long as I can remember. Alas, they are unaware of the friendship pact. I thought it used to be a ‘give-and-take’. Some friends have been just taking for so long now that I’m tired of giving 😐 . I just need to let them know.

Thats all for now folks. By the way, I’ll let you on in a secret . I finally have internet access!! At WORK!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€Β  (Dont ask me how, its a long story!) I’ve missed out on reading SO MANY BLOGS!! If I started now, I’d never get any work done. So yeah, what I wanted to say is that, if you have written any of your resolutions for 2013, do share the link πŸ™‚

Hope 2013 treats everyone fairly!!

Cheers…have a great weekend πŸ™‚

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…………..of 2012!

The last few months have not been good to me. Much of it was of my doing. Call it procrastination, mismanagement or just plain ‘I-want-to-run-away-from-it-all’ phase!

To say that I could have handled it better, would be an understatement. I could have done a WHOLE lot better. But the truth is, I didn’t. And somehow, I let people walk all over me.Β  I let my work affect my personal life. Obviously, it wasn’t taken to very kindly at home. I became even more irritable. The children sensed it and became all the more cranky.Β It was terrible.

My method of facing it all was unconventional. Β I moped a bit. Fell ill. Had an accident (purely unintended πŸ˜€ ) . And I came through it all. The only reason I stopped posting was because I was disillusioned. Nothing seemed good enough to write about anymore. Yes, even about the kids. They were the shining, bright lights in my life, yet I couln’t bring myself to write about them.

And then, 16th December happened.

It was painful, just imagining what the girl must have gone through. And somehow, that put a LOT of things in the right perspective. Here I was, struggling to get through the silliest (in retrospection) troubles in life , whereas there was someone out there struggling with a much bigger battle. Alone. It seems so futile now, all those worries and bitterness that I harboured for the last few months. It hasn’t helped me in the least. Rather, I lost some really precious updates on my children. I could have posted, but I didn’t. My self-imposed exile has hurt no one more than me.

2013 is at the door step. Though not all together easy, my one and sole resolution for the new year would be to keep family as my primary goal and work secondary. When I look back now, I realize that all the extra hours and efforts I had put in at work, were useless. I lost the precious time when my kids were learning new things. I wasted the precious time when my entire family was in town afterΒ 2 long years. I wasted the time by not being around for a dear cousin’s wedding. I wasted the time when the In-Laws came back from Hajj, all exhausted and gaunt and I wasn’t around to help them with the hordes of guests. Yes, I wasted a lot of time. The work that I did in office, just wasn’t worthy of the sacrifices I made.

Not anymore. Its going to be straight nine-hours of work for me and not an hour extra πŸ™‚

And I promise to blog more often πŸ™‚

Β On that note, have a GREAT YEAR people! Let 2013 have fewer calamities and more joy, fewer deaths and more birthdays, fewer vehicles (I wish πŸ™„ ) and more trees. Let us all cherish what we have today, be content and be happy πŸ™‚


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Title : Barnabas

Author : Sangeeta Nambiar

Publisher : Westland

Price : 250/-

is particular

The book has a lot going for it, but the simmering undertones of resentment towards the British was what caught my attention the most. A pity that this particular angle wasn’t explored much.

The story is about Barnabas C. Mehta, named thus because his father was always ready with the necessary ‘bandobast’ for his white master. The white master, Curtis, treats Barnabas like his own son, the one who will inherit Curtis’ vast knowledge and his love for the spirits! It is Curtis who encourages Barnabas to pursue his deduction skills and also prints formal visiting cards for Barnabas, if only to open the doors for the son of a servant cook, which otherwise would have been impossible in a British dominated Mumbai.

Barnabas takes up the investigation of the missing wife of a wealthy dockyard owner, Stanton.Β  What initially appeared like a well-planned escape plan by the wife, takes a more gruesome turn when dead bodies turn up unexpectedly. The investigating office declares it an open and shut case, but Barnabas believes otherwise. Following his instincts and clues gleaned through painstaking ways, he leads the case to ‘closure’.

Most of the book, as expected, is dedicated to Barnabas’ efforts in piecing the clues together. There is a simplicity in his approach which is in sync with his surroundings. His dilemma regarding the British is also understandable. Like he says, who in living memory remembers how it feels to be truly ‘independent’? Would Indians be able to manage on their own, when neither the current generation nor their ancestors had any experience in running a country? These questions reflect the conflicts that I’m sure many youth in those days must have faced.

The characters are well etched, except maybe the detective’s father, whose loyalty to Curtis clashes with his loyalty to the nation. I wish we had a clearer view of what Chetan (the father) truly felt about his years of service and the life that Barnanas led, thanks to Curtis.

BeingΒ  a die-hard Agatha Christie fan, I kept a sharp lookout for red-herrings, which the Dame was famous for. Surprisingly, there weren’t any. I don’t mean to say that the story was predictable, but the fact is, halfway through the book, I knew who had done it. I even deduced why it was done. The only thing that kept me glued was the ‘how’!! And it was rather gripping to read through it.Β  What truly made the book stand out was the innate Indian-ness of the detective and the blockers in his search for truth. That he meekly gives in to silence when he would in fact like to rip the other person apart, speaks volumes of the subjugation of Indians, in their own land.

“Barnabas” is a very well-written book. Like I mentioned before, it is a simple book, barely giving in to anything fancy. Read it while going on a trip or during a meal break. It will keep you adequately occupied. You won’t be disappointed.

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

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An Unexpected Outcome……

of my previous post was that the BF is in a fix. The issue I mentioned, kind of snowballed into something bigger than anticipated and though I stand by what I had written, I now cannot ignore the possible threat of the BF having to face some uncomfortable questions coming from the concerned quarters.

I hereby felt that it is best to lay low for a while (the post will come up again some day, but not today πŸ™‚ ). Thank you all for reading and commenting on it. I’m glad that we are all on consensus on how really such lay-offs should be handled. Hopefully, we haven’t really become as ‘western’ as the West and have a little compassion left in us πŸ™‚

On that note, have a great day you all πŸ™‚

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Note : This is not a paid plug for LifeCell πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

I just remembered it today when I saw the folder containing the receipts of my payment for banking the umbilical stem cells for the twins.

It was my Bhabhi who first opted for it in our family. Bro didnt have much of a clue, but Bhabhi being a doctor, decided on it. When I was pregnant, I never thought about this, but then, one day I saw an advertisement in a magazine and was bowled over. I mean, here was a sureshot way to ensure treatment in case your child ever encountered any major illness after birth. We checked the site. We called the representatives to our house for a demo. We checked out the videos, spoke to Bhabhi and a few doctors, browsed for all available information on the net and finally made a decision. A couple of years later, Bags made the same decision.
A little background on stem cells, from their website –
“Stem cells are the body’s “master” cells that regenerate and turn into the cells that form all of the tissues, organs, and systems in the human body. Given the right environment, stem cells can give rise to a number of tissues that constitute the different organs.  Also serving as a kind of repair system for the body, stem cells can divide repeatedly and then differentiate and replenish cells within the body. These unique characteristics are the reason why stem cells are considered a breakthrough in regenerative medicine. They have the potential for providing cells and tissues to treat various debilitating, life-threatening diseases.”
Check out the list of diseases that are curable through stem cells here :- http://www.lifecellinternational.com/treatable-diseases.aspx

We went ahead with the stem cell banking at the time of delivery.
Surprisingly, my gynaec had no idea about LifeCell and its benefits. When I called up LifeCell’s branch in Pune, they immediately sent a representative to the doctor’s clinic to brief them about he procedure. My doctor was suitably impressed and even went ahead with suggesting it to her other clients.
We were given the boxes months in advance. I immediately kept the gel packs in the freezer and the boxes on the table. I warned everyone at home, that the minute I land up in the hospital, they’d have to rush there with the boxes and the gel packs. The nurse’s (from LifeCell) number was set on speed dial. My delivery was scheduled for 9am on 18th Nov (through C-Sec). But the lead surgeon was not available until 3pm. In that duration, there were many hoax instances when it appeared that the surgeon had come. I must have called up home a hundred times to say, “get the boxes” and “no no, don’t get them now. Keep them back”. The BIL must have rued bitterly about volunteering to fetch the lifecell kits and frozen gel packs to the hospital right before my surgery!
Finally, when I was called in for the prep, I made a final call home and begged the BIL to rush to the clinic ASAP.  The BF, poor soul, was stuck in a meeting with a visiting client and urged me to take it cool and not rush until he  came in. As if it was in my hands 😐
Post prep, I was led to the operation theater. I grinned my way in, totally kicked about getting the immense weight off my tummy πŸ™‚ . When I walked in, I didn’t find a nice and quiet, squeaky place stuffed with equipments. I mean, it was clean and squeaky and there were equipments. Its just that, with the circus in there, I could barely make out any :|!! I  mean, excluding me, there was a plethora of doctors and nurses assembled . Wasn’t it a routine C-sec?, I wanted to ask my gynaec. But they were all so busy chatting among themselves that no one paid even the slightest attention to the specimen lying on the table. Me 😐
In between, the BF barged into the operation theater, wild-eyed and frantic.
“Don’t worry”, he mumbled, too shocked on seeing an operation theater for the first time and also disconcerted at the crowd in there.
“I won’t”, I assured him as the nurses hustled him out. Frankly, I just wasn’t worried. I knew I was in safe hands and I didnt have a single negative thought at all πŸ™‚

For the record, there were 9 people in the op-theater, excluding me. There was my gynaec, the anesthesiologist, the lead surgeon, his assistant, the pediatrician, a back-from-Australia-doctor who wanted to observe a twin-delivery, two nurses of the clinic and the nurse from LifeCell.
Initially, the other doctors had no idea what the LifeCell nurse was there for. One of them asked her and she started explaining the concept. Eventually, the doctors lost all interest in me and started bombarding her with questions. In my limp state, I could not help but fret that the doctors were paying far too much attention to the nurse than the tummy they had just split open. I got a small glimpse of the surgeon as he rapidly sewed the tummy in place, all the while checking out the pros and cons of stem cell banking (i’m glad to say, its all Pro and no cons. Unless you consider good health a con. Its your choice, really :|) .  A tiny peek from under the eye-patches and I could see the surgeon deftly sewing up the gash. I surmised that the baby-pulling-out-slapping-bottom routine was completed. Twice πŸ™‚ . Surprisingly, though the kids yelled out loud and clear (as vouched by those outside the theater) I don’t have any recollection of the sound 😦
The umbilical cord blood was drained into blood packs and encased between the frozen gel packs, the boxes were couriered to Chennai, where the LifeCell facility is.We received news of the successful blood typing and stem cell extraction within a month of delivery (Lui is O+ like me and Shobby is A+ like his father. There, we distributed
evenly amongst us, didn’t we? πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ )

The LifeCell stem cell storage facility is expensive. A little steep, if you consider that you may never actually need the extracted stem cells yourself. But if not you, any other member of the family can benefit from it ( you need to do the HLA matching first) if suffering from the list of ailments given above. A small excerpt on HLA typing from the website :-
“HLA antigens are proteins found in most cells in our body. Our immune system uses these proteins or markers to recognize which cells belong in our body and which do not. If the immune system determines a cell as not belonging to the body, the cell is attacked. Thus, HLA typing is done to reduce the risk of the transplanted stem cell being attacked by the immune system of the recipient. A close match between the patient’s HLA antigens and the donor’s can reduce the risk of the patient’s immune cells attacking the donor’s cells or vice versa. HLA typing is usually done for all allogeneic transplants, using a blood sample.
There are 6 HLA markers that are matched. For a successful transplant, at least 4 of these 6 markers must match. In some cases even a 3/6 match has been successful. However, it is best to have 4 or more markers that match as it reduces the risk of graft versus host disease”.

Lisa Ray, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma, was successfully treated using stem cell therapy. It just made me all the more glad that I had opted for it. More so, because it was the ONLY chance I had of securing a health insurance for my kids. Their stem cells will not generate again (except Lui, she still has a chance in future :-http://www.lifecellfemme.com/index.aspx). If the children or anyone else in the family never need it (InshaAllah), then I also have the chance to donate the stem cells to others who do need it. Or, I can allow LifeCell to use them for further research.
The reason I started typing this post was because I’ve seen so many of my friends going through pregnancies and deliveries, but no one seems to opt for this procedure 😐  (it isn’t altogether unaffordable). We suffer from far more lifestyle illnesses than ever before, with diabetes ruling the roost in India. I have friends from by office batch, who each suffers an ailment greater than the other. I’m at present , much better than them, but its just a matter of time before age catches up. By the time our kids grow up, I wonder what else we’ll have to encounter. Good health isn’t a given anymore.

So now, People who have opted for LifeCell, do let me know what you think about it.
People who had considered and then backed out, please let me know why you weren’t convinced enough.
People who are interested, do check out this site :- http://www.lifecellinternational.com.
And once more, I wasn’t paid to write this post. I have an uncle who has severe diabetes. The doctors say that his kidneys/liver aren’t up to the mark. There is a chance that his family contemplates stem cell therapy in the future. When that happens and they need a donor, they needn’t look far πŸ™‚

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I had a rather interesting conversation with my cubicle mate this morning.
We were talking about astrology and somehow the topic veered towards children.
He asked me if out of my twins, the girl was the elder one. I said yes, by two minutes.
So he grinned and told me that in all the cases of love marriages (that he knows about), the first-born is always a girl.
This statement stupefied me. I thought about it and then tried to recollect all my friend who had kids. Initially, I could only think of those who had arranged marriages and had a mix of boys and girls as first-born. But as the day progressed and I thought about more friends who did have love marriages, it came as a stunning revelation that ALL of them did indeed have daughters as first-born :|.
Its a funny coincidence, that.
Frankly, the odds might be in the favor of girls, but I just want to know….do you know of anyone (yourself included) who had a love marriage and had a son as their first-born?
I just want to see if this quirk of nature is true or that I really don’t know many married couples who had love marriages πŸ™‚
So help me out…chip in with some info if you have any πŸ™‚


Edited to Add : When I started out this survey, I had people chipping in with their agreements and inputs on how people they knew had girls. But after a horde of comments on this post and on FB, I’ve come to the conclusion that this observation isn’t really concrete (obviously), though the percentage of girls as first- born out of  love-marriages, in India, is slightly higher than the boys. Surprisingly, by nature, more boys are born compared to girls (as first-born or otherwise) because the male survival rate is low. So after a few months/years of being born, nature equalizes the ratio.

For the record, I’m still going to follow-up on this observation because the number of people I know with daughters (nearly 10-12) tips the scale against only ONE friend I know who has a boy πŸ™‚

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No,don’t get me wrong…. this post isn’t about the BF and me πŸ™‚

We are practically conjoined twins ourselves πŸ˜€

I have lamented enough about my reluctance to keep distance from the twins. There are times when I crib that the BF and me don’t have our personal space. Its true, but it is also mostly my doing.
Last month, the MIL went to stay overnight at the SIL’s place, taking the twins along with her. I’m ashamed to say, I was a nervous wreck that evening 😦 . Not having the twins near me after I came back from work, was a jolt in itself. As the hours passed, I realized that I was calling up the MIL every hour to check up on the kids. At one time, the SIL took over the phone and gently assured me that the kids were fine and were playing with her sons.
I spent the rest of the night moping. Cried buckets into my pillow and swore never to let the twins away from me , EVER!!! It was the first time in 3.5 years that the twins weren’t with me in the night 😦
Around 3 AM, I was too exhausted to cry anymore and went off to sleep!
Frankly, I was heartbroken.
Never knew that I’d be so weak….and here I was , always under the impression that I’m a tough cookie and a go-getter who started working just as the twins completed 5 months!! But then…..the reasons for my starting work were entirely different than they are now 😐

Anyhow, so after that one instance, I realized that I cant be snuggling up with the kids forever. It was time to start letting go, albeit gently.
Last Sunday was my cousin’s engagement. We had to travel to a town roughly 6-7 hours from the city. Given the long distance travel by bus, I thought it prudent to leave the kids behind. Moreover, I received a call from my uncle to bring our bottled water as that particular area had reported cases of Hepatitis patients. That kind of sealed my decision to leave the kids behind. Later, I found that there were others who had brought their children with them. I felt bad that I hadn’t 😦 . In fact, I was hoping that if the BF accompanied me, we could have managed the kids between us. Though the MIL is keen to share the responsibility of the kids, the twins don’t pay her much attention, specially when we are out. Also, the MIL was as eager to attend the engagement as I was :).
The BF tried his best to convince me that he would take care of the kids. I wasn’t buying any of it. Just that morning, when I told him to supervise the kid’s bath, he happily went and told the twins, “Yaay….today is Saturday……Aaj nahane ki chhutti!!!” Kids and father, all yelled in delight 😐
So yeah, he wasn’t very successful in his eager plea for trust! To think of leaving him alone with the kids game me a chill in my spine. The MIL must have felt something similar, because she promptly called the nanny to spend a day at our house (we had dispensed of her services since the twins started their day-care)

I woke early on Sunday morning, 5 AM. We were to leave by 6 AM . We left the house by 5:50 to reach my uncle’s place which was close by. It took us another hour from my uncle’s place to finally commence on our journey.
That one hour was one of the most fretful of my life 😦 I know that Shobs gets up early and demands his milk. I also know that the BF sleeps like, well…any working man on a weekend.
I called him 4-5 times in the next one hour, he didn’t pick the call. Was probably asleep. But I was frantic…..all my thoughts focused on poor Shobs who would be deprived of his milk. MIL reassured me that since the FIL was home, he would be awake and would look after Shobby till the time BF woke up. That was some consolation, but not all.

Once we were out of the network range, I just clutched my phone and fretted over whether the kids were awake or not, whether they had their milk or not, whether the BF gave then breakfast or not…..you get the drift. The MIL tried cheering me up a couple of time but I just wasn’t in the mood.

Though I got dressed and attended the function, I realized later that I was just sitting in one corner throughout. I got up just once to congratulate my cousin brother and his would-be-bride and then slithered back onto my chair. You won’t find any snaps of me in that event.
The only bright spark in my otherwise solemn day was that I got to meet my parents πŸ™‚ . Mom and Dad had come to the town for the engagement and were going to come back to Pune with us. I was seeing Mom after one whole year!!!
Post lunch, we spent some time idling about while the families sorted out the nitty-gritties of wedding preparations. I called the BF once more, ready to blast him if he picked the call (he hadn’t picked the phone since morning and I was truly ticked off). Clever man that he is, he handed the phone to the kids. My babies!! They were so wonderfully mature when they said that they weren’t troubling their father and had their food on time πŸ™‚ . That was all the reassurance I needed.
We were a tad delayed because of the rains and it was after 1 AM when we finally reached home. I saw the twins sleeping peacefully with their dad on the double bed. It was a beautiful sight. But I broke down once more ! I’m still not sure why I sobbed as I saw them sleeping peacefully 😐
Was it because they spent an entire wakeful day without me?
Was it because they didn’t really miss me much?
Was it because the twins learned to stay away from me much sooner than I anticipated?
Was it because I was riding high on the guilt trip of leaving them behind?
Was it because I was plain exhausted after a longer-than-bargained-for drive back to Pune??
Whatever the case, I was out in seconds after my head hit the pillow.

When I woke up the next morning, the twins were delighted to see me, but they didn’t ask me where I was the previous day 😦 . Its almost as if they didn’t miss my presence at all 😐 (major morale depressor, that!)
For the major part of this week, I’ve been pondering over my reaction and the twin’s. On hindsight, I feel that leaving the kids behind with their father wasn’t a catastrophe begging to occur as I had expected. Its okay if the children don’t take a bath one day or just eat maggi/chips/fruits throughout the day. The kids were fine, their father was fine and the only one who missed out on the fun, was me 😐

Frankly, there is no concrete plot to this post. I’m just grumpy that the kids have weaned away from me and I’m still holding on to their teethers and sippy-cups 😦
Time to let go a wee bit, isn’t it?!

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