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F-I-V-E

Dear Lui & Shobbs,

There were a lot of ways in which I wanted to write this post. The first plan was to do a comparative analysis of the differences between the time when you were wee little infants and your current boisterous selves.

I dropped that plan pronto 😐

(No point in going back to the infant you. That time is long past. You are individuals in your own right with a mind of your own πŸ™‚ )

Then I thought of doing a round-up of the year, of listing all the major milestones covered, the achievements, the speed-breakers….but then I realized that I have not chronicled this year very well 😦 . There were large gaps between my posts and not much can be inferred from what I did put up! I regret it deeply and I guess this situation kind of motivates me to write more often, take down every little thing you say or do πŸ™‚

Frankly, this year was very different from the past few. This was the first time your father wasn’t here to pamper you silly. If you were a little older, you could understand how deeply he was hurt at missing your birthday. His prayers though, are with you , as usual πŸ™‚

We didn’t have a party on your birthday, per se, but two days before that. It confused you a bit initially, but you realized soon enough the difference between “just-a-party” and “actual-birthday” πŸ˜€

You got more gifts this year than all the years before put together!

This was the first time you both helped me with the decorations, suggesting where to put up the balloons and how to string the streamers πŸ˜€

You didn’t cry or throw a tantrum, rather, I guess this was the first time you were comfortable with the crowd and enjoyed the company of other children πŸ™‚

You didn’t eat a single bite of the delicious chocolate cake or the kiwi one 😦 (everyone else enjoyed it immensely except the two it was meant for !)

As I went through the party snaps, I realized with a pang that you two have indeed grown up. YouΒ  Lui at 3’8″ and Shobby at 3’5″ are not nearly as tall as other children your age, but when I see the confident gaze as Lui looks at the camera, or the casual stance that Shobby takes as he poses for his snap, I realize just how much has changed. You have become aware, if I may use the term here….aware of your surroundings, things, people and each other. You understand your effect on your family. You know the reactions you can get out of us with your one statement or action. The difference now is that you aren’t as naive as before πŸ˜€ ….and I haven’t been able to figure out if that is a good thing ! πŸ™„

This year, you added to your vocabulary by leaps and bounds. It is futile to have secret conversations around you two 😦 . Which reminds me of your new-found love for secrets! Though you both confide in me, it is a little surprising that you both want to keep secrets from each other! Maybe, just maybe, you are making an attempt to wean yourself off from each other! Yet again, am not sure if that is a good thing 😐

This year I saw you both going through your own set of hurdles Β …..friendly Lui had trouble keeping friends , got bullied ,was nick-named a cry-baby (even at home) but came back with excellent grades in school. Shobby, you turned into a popular guy in class, had to struggle with memorizing sentences, excelled in maths and drove everyone nuts with your constant volley of questions! None of the hurdles were bad enough to stop you two. And we are trying to make sure that you continue to do good in the things that interest you.

This last one year has been a little sad, with you both missing your “favorite Abbu” (your words, not mine πŸ˜€ ) like anything and insisting on talking to him every morning and night πŸ™‚ . Somewhere along the way, I realized that you two had taken control over the situation much better than we had anticipated (Alhamdulillah). Though Lui cried buckets when your father was leaving last time, she was back to normal the next day, even philosophical about why he had to be away πŸ™‚ .

This year, I saw an immense improvement in your manners and your public behavior….more than once, I have swelled with pride when people have congratulated me on you. I shouldn’t be taking credit, I’m not responsible for your good behavior alone.Β  Your grandparents and Chachu have done pretty much from their side in bringing out the best in you πŸ™‚

Dear babies (and I’ll continue to call you that even when I’m halfway to my grave), you are the light of my life and your father’s life itself! We both love you so much, it is difficult to describe in words how we really feel. Many a times, when your father is here and we see you sleeping peacefully, your lashes fanning your soft cheeks, Shobby curled into a little ball like a hedgehog and Lui’s arms and legs flung across the bed, we can’t help but marvel at the wonder of having two gorgeous babies like you two and wonder, for the umpteenth time, what we did right in life to deserve you two πŸ™‚

Happy Birthday Sweethearts…may you have all the best in life in all the coming years. Ameen.

I know I should have done this post yesterday but I was too busy spending the day with you to notice when time flew by! Its a day late, but I know you wouldn’t mind πŸ˜€

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Pretty in Pink

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Dapper Shobby

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Pleased as punch πŸ™‚

Love you both! A thousand times over πŸ™‚

Yours,

 

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*Giggle*

Okay, so I’m being rather nasty here and maybe one day, when my kids read this, they will never forgive me, but I seriously MUST post this πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

Yesterday, while I was ironing the twin’s school uniform, Shobby came up to me and muttered, “Mumma, Little Z has not come to school for so many days”. I looked down at Shobby, he looked truly worried and heart-broken.

Now, for the un-informed, Shobby and Little Z are BFF.  I guess she adores Shobby as much he does her. Make what you can of it πŸ˜€

Anyway, even I was concerned why the little girl didn’t show up for so many days. So I fished out the phone and gave her mother a call. In fact, if I had given the phone to Shobby, he could have dialed the number himself. He remembers it so well πŸ˜‰ .

When the mother picked the call, I asked her about Little Z. Turns out, the poor girl was bitten by some insect which made her skin break out in an awful rash. But all was fine now and the girl would come to school the next day, her mother reassured.

Since Lui was hanging on to my shoulder, begging me to let her talk to Little Z, I asked her mom if Z was around. She was, and I spoke to her for a minute before handing over the phone to Lui. As with all pesky moms, I turned the phone on speaker mode before giving it to Lui !

Lui, with all the sincereity of her gentle heart, asked Little Z about her health and why she didn’t come and all the usual talk. Z replied to a couple of questions and then, ignoring Lui’s further queries, said this, ” Lui, please give phone to Shobby”. Lui initially ignored the command and kept on talking, discussing all that they did in class that day. Z repeated her request one more time , a little too firmly, I think, ” Lui, give the phone to Shobby. I want to talk to him”.

Shobby all but burst with pride when Z said this. He immediately grabbed the phone from Lui and with what I think was a distinct blush, started asking her about her health πŸ™‚ . They spoke for a few minutes in which Little Z’s voice became much melloewr and sweeter than when she was talking with Lui. Once done, Shobby came up to me and handed over the phone.

I have no words to describe the distinct glow on his face as his face beamed like a thousand flashlights. No words were necessary. He just grinned and walked off.

Lui, poor girl was offended big time. She just couldn’t understand why she was sidelined by Z in favour of Shobbs. “She is my friend too”, said Lui, her brow furrowed with worry.

“Its okay dear”, I consoled her, “it happens”.

Lui went off to look for Shobby while I sat there pondering once again…..why now? Why not after another decade?!!

😐

πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

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Oh Brother!

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“Mummy wouldn’t allow nail-polish, so we managed with a sketch pen!”

Does anyone remember the above picture?? A long time ago, I’d written a post on how the twins coloured each other’s nails using a sketch pen. I think the two were around 2 or maybe less than 2 years then. I did throw a fit then but the two were least bothered. As you can see, they were pretty much engrossed in the activity.

Its been nearly three years since then but Shobby’s penchant for decking up his sister hasn’t diminished πŸ™‚ . He likes the colors of nail-polishes but never attempts to apply them on his own hands. Rather, he prefers applying it for Lui. Similarly, he likes the collection of various clips and bangles that Lui has, but never attempts to wear them himself. He just likes to dress up Lui, playing with her hair and suggesting color combinations for the bangles πŸ™„ .

Just recently, I found him busy doing this –

Photo0055

“Coloring my sister’s toe-nails”

Initially, I was aghast. Not at him applying the nail-polish, but because I don’t allow nail-polishes during school days and also, because I don’t have a remover (I never apply it so I don’t keep a remover 😦 ) . My first concern was how to get rid of the polish from Lui’s nails before the next morning (luckily, the front-door-neighbor had the remover πŸ˜› ). The BIL , who had just returned from office, was appalled to see Shobby sincerely at his task, which according to him was a un-manly thing to do! He begged Shobby to stop it immediately, but I told Shobby to finish what he had started. Obviously, I’m rather comfortable with my son’s interests. I don’t want to demarcate what he can and cannot do in life. I’d rather assign myself to teaching him what he should and shouldn’t do πŸ˜€

Anyway, Shobby continued with his work and Lui was so pleased that she claimed him to be the BEST BROTHER EVER! πŸ™‚

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Posing with the finished work

If you look closely, Shobby did a pretty neat job, I must say πŸ™‚ There is much lesser smudging than expected. The reason I didn’t get a snap of Shobby after he was done is because he ran to the the BIL, obviously to placate his Chachu, being the politically correct person that he is πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› .

A few days later, I found the two doing this –

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Applying Mehendi on the legs

Shobby got hold of a mehendi cone and deviating from tradition, decided to apply mehendi on Lui’s legs. Not palms or feet. He started drawing stuff on her legs !! As usual, Lui is a willing participant to all this pampering. I think she likes to be doted upon, the way Shobby does. Something tells me that the girl almost expects it out of him 😐

So sincere is little Shobby that he doesn’t give up even when Lui is bored to death and goes off for a nap! Tenacious….thats what the little boy is πŸ˜€

Photo0068

“Wont give up!”

Its rather nice to see how much little Shobby is ready to do for his sister. The only downside is that Lui takes undue advantage of his devotion 😦 . She commands Shobby to run errands for her. She makes him do her homework when she’s not in the mood. She asks him to fetch her stuff that she needs . She even makes him get water for her πŸ™„Β  . If any adult is around, we stop Shobby and ask Lui to do her own work. This ticks off Lui to no end and makes Shobby unhappy because his sister is upset !

It doesn’t mean that Shobby is an angel. That halo over his head can wait. He’s also the primary reason why Lui loses her cool most of the time. Shobby loves to instigate Lui whenever he can. He makes fun of her, specially when she is already riled, just to see how far she goes with that temper. He also whacks her pretty hard when he feels like it 😐

So yes, they both balance out their equations pretty well πŸ™‚ . But all said and done, Lui couldn’t have had a better brother than Shobby…I just hope that when they grow up, they realize and never forget what they mean to each other.

Ameen πŸ™‚

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Lui Says……

……the damnedest things!!

Lui, with a body of a nearly-five-year-old, has a head of a 90-year-old. She spouts wisdom at the drop of a hat and even without!Β  Though we call her the granny of the house in jest, the truth is that she exhibits so many qualities of her great-grandmother (the Big-Dadi) that it borders on the spooky!!

Big Dadi was fond of fruits, Lui can survive on them entirely.

Big Dadi was very loving and affectionate. Lui loves to hug people, pat their backs and say that everything will be alright 😐

Big-Dadi , while watching TV, used to sit cross-legged with a hand propped on her knee, with the palm supporting her face. Lui sits EXACTLY like that (Creepy 😦 ) .

Big Dadi was fond of her butter and Ghee. Lui can eat butter and ghee with a spoon. ( *gag* 😯 )

There are too many similarities between to list here, but suffice to say, Lui is a reincarnation of her Big-Dadi πŸ™‚

Being the granny that she is, Lui comes up with lines that have me mostly banging my head against a wall or more recently, looking around helplessly, wondering how come I landed in this parenting mess in the first place 😐 !

Some recent comments from Her Highness –

1) Lui and Shobbs went crazy over a jar of sweet, strawberry flavored water sticks that I’d bought them once. The jar was steeply priced for a very little quantity and I didn’t buy it again. A few days back, I saw that jar in aΒ  shop and purchased it. The twins have been on impeccable behavior for some time now and it seemed apt to reward them for it. As soon as I entered the house, I yelled out for the kids. Lui came running to greet me. I beamed at her and pulled out the jar.

“Look what I’ve got for you”, I was all excited πŸ™‚

Lui, instead of hopping with happiness, gives me a look of pity, pats my shoulder gently and as though explaining to an imbecile, says, ” Mumma, this is NOT healthy at all!!”

Huh !!

😐 😐 😐

“Err…you don’t want this??”, I was, to put it mildly, beyond shocked!

“Its okay. I’ll eat it because you got it for me”

Good Lord!! The generosity!!!

Just then, Shobby bounded into the room and as soon as he spotted the jar, his face split into two with the widest grin I’ve seen in ages!

“Wow Mumma, you bought this!!”, he exclaimed, happiness oozing from his every pore. Thank God for Shobbs. My little saving grace, thats what he is πŸ˜€ !

“Shobbyyyy”, calls out a stern voice. “This is not healthy Shobby”, warns Lui.

Shobby’s face falls, he’s torn between his love for the wafer, but is terrified of the repercussions if he defies Lui…..it is a tense moment, I’m not sure what to say or do. I look at them silently glaring at each other.

“Okay, eat one now. But only one, Samjhe??”, Lui gives in magnanimously.

Shobby’s grin is back, he pulls out two wafers, gives one to Lui and brother and sister walk away hand in hand.

I sit there withΒ  the jar, and after looking at it for a while, just throw caution to the wind and yank out two wafers for myself!

As long as my kids know how to keep healthy, why deprive myself ?!!

πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

2)Β  I was feeding the kids dinner (yeah, I still do that….its the only meal we have together and I like feeding them myself. MUST stop it soon, maybe sometime around their Birthday, I’ll wean myself out of this habit πŸ˜€ ) . The twins were enjoying the luxury of watching TV (some inane cartoon which I’ve decided never to let the twins watch again because it contained inappropriate content). The in-laws were having their dinner peacefully in another corner of the room. Shobby got bored of the cartoon and switched the channel. Lui, without a second’s hesitation, whacked him hard on the chest. Her movement was so quick and so unexpected that with Shobby, we all gasped out loud.

“Lui,” I thundered,” How dare you hit your brother?”.

He changed the channel. I was watching it “, she yelled back.

I was furious, more so because the violence was brought out by a stupid animation 😐

“Lui, if you EVER raise your hand on Shobby again, I’ll punish you. VERY BADLY. Got it??”. I yelled back at her.

“Listen Mumma”, she toned down a bit but the attitude was still in place, ” Nobody in this world is perfect. Only Allah is perfect. Everyone in this world makes mistakes. Ho jaata hai“.

Huh?!!

😐 😐 😐

Am still not sure if it was said to calm me down, was an apology or just an excuse for her behavior.

But this is when I looked around helplessly, terrified of what the future has in store for me. I still have another 15 years to go before she charts her own path.

So Allah, being perfect, please help me 😐

3) It was bedtime, the twins had changed into their pyjamas . I asked Shobby to switch on the Goodnight which he gladly did. As I was fluffing-up the pillows and dusting the bed, Shobby says in a small voice, “Mumma, mujhe Abbu ki yaad aa rahi hai“.

I took a deep breath and turned to console my child.

No luck !

Lui beat me to it.

She was hugging Shobby to her bosom, patting his head and back, caressing his cheeks and cooing lovingly that Abbu will be back soon and that he missed them too and that we’ll all have fun when he gets back.

I was stumped. The two stood there for what seemed like ages, hugging each other, sharing their grief.

Lui has usurped my role successfully.

Someone please remind me what exactly am I still doing in this house !!

😐 : |: |

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The Red Chair

“Mumma”

Busy cooking, I turn around at the voice.

“See what I’ve got for you”

“My! Whats the chair for?”

redchair

“Oh Ho!! I got it for you”

“But Why?”

Some blushing and smiling later, Lui looks up.

“Can’t you understand?”

“You cant keep a chair here in the kitchen dear. Please keep it back where you brought it from”.

“Hmmm….I thought you might need it”

I smile at her and say Thank You.

“Welcome Mumma”.

And with a big smile, she bounds away.

In the entire conversation above, she spoke only the first syllable.

I swear, Lui has the most expressive face EVER !!

πŸ™‚

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The Hug

A cute thing happened last night. I was heating the milk for the twin’s bedtime milk when I noticed that Shobby had secretly hidden the black raisins from his breakfast behind the water container. Thats only because he couldn’t reach the kitchen bin which was on the window ledge. Now Shobby hates black raisins just as much as he craves the brown ones. But the black ones are healthier and I force him to have atleast 2-3 a day. So I was rightfully ticked off when I saw the raisins. Lui, who had accompanied me to the kitchen, and who, I believe was witness to the ‘crime’ immediately grabbed my hand and started pleading, “Mumma, please, please don’t scold Shobby. Please don’t slap him. He don’t like black kishmish. Please don’t scold him Mumma, please, pleeeeease”.

I looked down at Lui with shock. Firstly, I had no intention of slapping anyone, but a firm reprimand was in place. Secondly, the way Lui was begging for mercy made me feel like the hangman 😦

Anyhow, so I went to the bedroom and called out to Shobby. He came hopping and skipping with a big grin in place. I confronted him about the thrown black raisins. The poor boy, his face practically fell till his knees . Once again, Lui started making begging gestures with folded hands and a pitiful face and I had a tough time controlling myself from grinning at her exaggerated concern πŸ˜€

I let off Shobby with the line that I want him to be healthy and thats why he’ll have to eat the black raisins. I also added that the only reason I was being light on him was because Lui asked me not to get angry. At this, Shobby took one look at me, turned to look at Lui and before I realized what was in his mind, he ran and hugged Lui as though his life depended on it. Lui hugged him back and whispered in his ear that she will always look after him. Shobby kissed her cheek and thanked her with a serious face. The two stood there for a few seconds, grinning at each other and I swear, I melted at the very spot. It was so sweet, so pure, the beautiful bond of love between them. Alhamdulillah!!

I hope and pray, they keep looking out for each other. Ameen.

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A New Kind Of Fear

Warning : Long post ahead

I hate newspapers.

Gone are the days when everyone at home used to fight over the morning paper with Dad usually winning the game! None of us at home liked to read a paper in parts, it had to be the entire bunch or none at all. No sharing of pages was preferred. But then, news those days was worth reading. Was worth starting the day with.

With the papers today, it is gloom piled on gloom. The more sadder, morose, heart-wrenching the tale, the more prominently is it displayed . I really have no appetite for 4-5 rape cases reported on the front page anymore. Either the men in the country are really desperate and are on an active raping spree, or maybe the awareness created these days allows more people to come up and register complaints. Whatever the case, it’s a terrible way to start a day when all you read about is how minors are brutally assaulted. My kids are of the age that gets reported in the papers and even the whisper of the thought, of something terrible like this befalling the kids, is enough to make me bristle with fear and anger.

But this post isn’t about the newspapers. Or about depraved men breaking havoc on innocence.

This is about the other kind of fear I’m facing these days.

The twins are a riotous pair. They scream and yell at each other all day long and only when very highly provoked, do they get physical. Even then, the blows are much milder and more often than not, there is intervention by the adults and peace is restored.

Once outside the confines of home, they become different people. My kids, specially Lui, gets bullied a lot. At school, in the van, at the day care and sometimes, even with kids of relatives. Shobby gets bullied too, but I think he has some of that survival instinct that only boys have and he mostly stays away from situations which may end up with him getting bullied (that’s the diplomatic in him). Lui, on the other hand, doesn’t bow down if she feels that the other person is wrong. She points it out to other kids when they do anything wrongful and like most kids who get a lot of flak at home and at school, Lui’s unwarranted words of wisdom are nothing but an irritant. They despise her for being upright , for speaking up. Even in the school van, lots of kids start chanting mean things whenever she gets in. I try my best and be firm with the kids but it’s not them or their chants that I’m worried about.

Its my daughter.

Slowly and steadily, she’s turning into a victim. Somewhere along the line, I have myself to blame. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always told the twins that it’s a crime to fight with other children or to hit them. I’ve always preached about talking politely and never saying anything derogatory to anyone. Now that Lui is at the receiving end of those very derogatory things, she is unable to lash back with a few choice words of her own.Β  Heartbroken, she usually breaks down. This is the cue for everyone else to taunt her as a cry-baby. I wouldn’t have taken it seriously if I hadn’t seen the terrible changes coming over her recently. If you go by my previous posts, Lui was always the confident one, the only one who used to mix with all the students in her class, the only one who chatted up with and helped other kids who were ignored by the rest of the class. Recently though, she is apprehensive of going to school or going to the day-care and surprisingly, of even meeting relatives 😐

It is rather worrying. She isn’t as free as before. There is hesitation in what she says and does and recently, even the smallest rebuke from us sends her into a volley of silent tears. Its heart-wrenching, because this is not how my child used to be. I was always proud of my daughter being the boisterous one. Nowadays, kids younger than her taunt her everyday in her school van. I’ve been begging the drivers to let me know why this is happening. But like most drivers who are more worried about just getting to the schools on time, even this one doesn’t have the time to analyze what the kids are doing behind him. The other attendant only intervenes when the little boys get physical. Verbal abuse by the kids is largely ignored. When children chant “Lui is a monkey” or repeatedly call her “ugly”, the attendant doesn’t intervene. For him, its just harmless fun.

But the effect it has on Lui is terrible. Many times, when I ask her why she cries (and further allows the bullies to rag her) when others are making fun of her, she says that she feels “very bad” and somewhere inside her, “it hurts”. 😦

Ragging and bullying starts at a very young age. It’s usually one against many, as mob mentality begins from a very young age. Children learn very early that they can’t be accused of any wrong-doing if they do it in a large group. No one person will be held accountable and usually, the punishments meted out to a group are not as severe as the ones doled out to individuals. News items like the ones where a 10-year-old died of severe trauma after being locked in a school bathroom or a 12-year-old committing suicide after her ‘friends’ posted hate messages on her Facebook page are unnerving. Β  I’m terrified of news reports that mention mental trauma in kids. Isn’t childhood the time when one is careless and free? Since when did little kids start going into depression and the abyss of self-loathing? All because of a few words/actions of other kids?

Peer pressure is a terrible thing. I don’t think Lui ever reacted in the same manner when anyone at home scolded her or made fun of her. But when kids of her age do it, she is unable to ignore it .

For a long time, I kept wondering if there was something wrong with my daughter. She is a little sensitive, I agree, but since when did being sensitive become a crime?! She is always considerate of other kids, always willing to help, always the generous one, giving out everything dear to her if someone only asks for it. Sharing comes naturally to her. I must have scolded her a zillion times for losing her pencils and her crayons at school every other day. But later I found out that she used to hand over her pencils and crayons to other kids who forgot to get theirs. It’s a different matter that the other kids never bothered to return her stuff. Not that she would ever mind!

It seriously worries me then when my kid gets ragged and bullied. Whenever she is in a good mood, I bring up the topic and I do my best to let he know that just because other kids call her ugly does not mean that she indeed is ugly.Β  That she doesn’t have to take the words of other children as the law. That in spite of all that the others say, she is still our beautiful child and we all love her deeply.Β  Sometimes, Shobby chips in and claims loudly that Lui is the prettiest girl in his class. He says it in a matter-of-fact way which usually brings a smile to our faces, but Lui’s brow remains furrowed.Β  When I’m really upset at her being upset and threaten to come to her school and complain to her teacher about the other kids, Lui does a turnabout and says, “Mumma, aisa mat karo. Teacher will scold them. Phir unke mummy bhi scold karenge. Phir woh bachche royenge. Woh log chhote hain na, issliye unhein samajh nahin aata ki aisa karna galat hai”(Mumma, please don’t do that. Teacher will scold them. Their their mummies will also scold them. Then those kids will cry. They are small kids. They don’t understand that it is wrong to do such things).

Really now!! How can I help my daughter when she suffers from the Stockholm Syndrome?

There’sΒ  a huge learning curve ahead of us. I have to learn to teach her how NOT to accept bullying and she needs to learn how not to react to bullying. She can take a tip or two from Shobby. He plays the safety card well. He himself never bullies anyone (he just cannot!! He’s too tiny to do that!). Unfortunately, he isn’t able to defend Lui either. This is something that she alone will have to learn to face and fight.

So many things to protect a child from! Seriously, our parents had it much easier. I don’t think we ever heard of words like ‘depression’ or ‘peer-pressure’ or even ‘trauma’. When parents used to send us to school, they were confident of wisely investing those 6 hours in us. When I now send my kids to school, there are a hundred different worries running in my mind. Will the driver drive safely? Will Lui be spared the ragging today? Will she have a good day in class? Will she come home without tears? Will someone tease her inappropriately?

Once again, parenting isn’t easy. Its tough, demanding and mind/heart-wrenching! Its has its benefits though and that alone are enough to help us get through each day.

Anyhow, if anyone has faced similar situations where their children have been ragged or are the centre of attraction to bullies, please chip in with your comments on how you’ve handled it. I’ll be much obliged !

Β Thanks πŸ™‚

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