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My newfound respect for Uday Chopra. 

Yes, you heard that right. 

I, MomOfRS, have developed a sincere respect for Mr.Uday Chopra, aka, the jerk-who-played-the-joker-in-Dhoom. 

What brought about this change of heart, you might well ask. 

And I’d say, that, I saw his performance relative to some other ‘well known’ , ‘established’, ‘National Award’ winning actor’s performance and it was like a sock to the solar plexus. 

“Whooooosh”, the air gushed out from the lungs. 

Could someone be that bad?? 

That they make the other bad ones actually look good?? 

Such is the case in the horribly sickly sweet rom-com “Pyaar Impossible”!! 

If you wonder, why I sat through it if it was soo bad, well, let me tell you , I was quite shocked to react. 

I mean, here I was, watching a film, and actually looking forward to seeing more of Uday Chopra than PC. I mean, he was far more watchable than her!! He even acted better than her!! 

Uday Chopra!! For Godsakes!!! 

Am yet to get over the hang-over!!! 

As for PC, I don’t even want to give space to her on my blog (any more than required!!) 

Coz, at one point in the film, she says,  internet is like,” http://www.way-over-my-head.com”. This, coming from a PR officer of an IT Company

Who selected her?? 

Oh, wait a minute. I guess those ultra-mini outfits got her the job. 

Must be. Can’t see any other reason for her being employed!!! 

A special mention must be made for the 11-year-old acting as a six-year-old. 

Cute girl, bad lines. Can’t blame her. 

If you plan to watch it, then please don’t. 

Unless you are an Uday Chopra fan. Then you may. You might actually put up his posters in your bedroom wall. 

And if you are a PC fan, God help you. 

She’ll be way over  your head too 😦 

Anyhow, what really irked me to the core was their blatant parroting of the words, ‘pyaar’ , ‘possible’ and ‘impossible’.

Sample this :-

UC : I love her……mumble..mumble…my pyaar….mumble..mumble…..impossible.

UC’s father : no shit!! mumble…mumble…possible.Mumble…mumble…pyaar….not impossible.

UC : Mumble…mumble…..impossible….pyaar.

Little-girl : Its possible…..mumble…mumble….love…

Song : pyaar impossible…..pyaar possible……pyaar impossible….pyaar possible……..PI…..PP……PI…….PP…..

UC : …..pyaar…mumble…mumble….possible.

UC’s father :mumble…mumble…always possible. Mumble…mumble…pyaar….not impossible.

PC : ummm……Aaaaaahhhh…..Oooooohhhhh….impossible!!!…….Ufffff……pyaar!!

Song : ….Its Possible…….bara bara bam bam…..possible..possible…possible….

PC : Pyaar possible….

UC : Pyaar possible.

Little-girl : Pyaar possible.

UC’s father : Pyaar possible.

Momofrs : GOD!!! Can’t believe I sat through this shit!! Its IMPOSSIBLE!!!

 

 

Definitely Impossible!!

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O-MI GOD!!

Like everyone else and their uncle, I watched 3 idiots this weekend.

And before you get any ideas, this is NOT a review. I can’t do reviews. Seriously. Because the movies which I generally like, turn out to be duds 😦

And the movies that I think stink like rotten eggs, come out toppers.

So don’t rely on me for reviews.

Anyhow.

The verdict?

Its fun. Its patronizing (to a certain extent). It definitely presses the right buttons with the audience (comprising majorly of college going students). To a certain extent, Kareena’s role was insipid. The director could have easily done away with her role. But I guess, a little eye-candy was required.

But overall, the movie was just so-so.

Now before you start throwing those rotten tomatoes at me, hear me out.

I felt that all the actors did what they usually do. They were good actors and putting in their regular performances. I’m a die-hard Aamir Khan fan but I still feel, this role was just too average for him. He could have easily sleep-walked through it. It didn’t challenge his capabilities as an actor. Madhavan and Sharman were also just fine. Nothing outstanding from these two. Sharman, by far , was more interesting in “Rang de Basanti” and “Life in a Metro”. Madhavan, doesn’t get to display much emotion. And yeah, all that puppy fat didn’t help his cause either!!!

I went in for the movie, expecting to see something new. Something different. After all the rave reviews from all quarters, I thought it must be really fresh.

And this time, though I was initially sceptic,  I did get to see it.

Ok, now honestly, if you have seen the movie, which character did you like best? Which character drew the maximum laughs? Who was it who lit up the screen with his/her presence? The mere entry of whose was guaranteed to draw a laugh from you.If not, then atleast a smile 🙂 .

Yup, you got it right!!

Am talking about Chatur Ramalingam.

Aka, Omi Vaidya.

Omi Vaidya

Where were you all these years , Omi???

This guy blew my mind with his acting. His welcome speech in Hindi in his curious mix of Ugandan+Tamilian accent was mind-blowing. It wasn’t the content so much as was his presentation. And the best part was his consistency of performance. When he was a student, he looked like a student. And when he was a middle aged successful executive, he looked that part.

Compare that to how the three main leads appeared during their college days and their appearance after the 10 year gap. Not much. They looked middle aged during college and looked the same after that too.

Omi’s was the only role that stood out. A performace that stood out among the stalwarts.And before you think he’s just any comic actor, let me tell you that he is a writer, editor, actor, director and producer.

Its just unfortunate that he’s more into American television/movies than Indian.

I would just so love to see him in more hindi movies.

I’m personally looking forward to him doing an out-n-out comedy with him as the lead.

What fun it would be?!!

So Omi, Kya yeh ho sakti hai?

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A Royal (Hi)Mess

Hi-mess Reshammiya fans beware. This post is not for you, you faint-hearted, nasal-sound-loving, cap wearing losers!

The others, meanwhile can read on.

A villager from a far-off land once started writing a letter to Hi-mess bhaiya. It went something like this :-

————–

Pranaam Hi-Mess bhaiya,

Aap bade din baad dikhe. Aur dikhne ke baad yeh khayal aaya, ki bhala aap kyun dikhe? Hum sukh se life bita rahe the…itne mein ek aandhi aayi aur saath mein ‘mann ka radio’ layi. Lagta hai galat ‘station’ tune ho gaya.

Kasam se kehte hain Hi-mess bhaiya, purane zamane ke K.L.Saigal saab yaad aa gaye.

Ab yeh sochiye, ki agar K.L.Saigal saab ‘tune’,’full-2′, ‘attitude’, jaise lafz istemaal karte to kaise sunai dete??

Bas , lagta hai aap unhi ka doosra roop lekar aaye hain.

Lekin Hi-mess bhaiya, aapko to pata hi hoga, hamare gaon mein insaanoen se zyada pret-atmaaon ko aapse pyaar hai. Aapke gaane bajne par hi woh apne assigned tasks par jaate hain. Aajkal maut ka bulawa bhi aapke “Jhalak dikhla”ne par hi aata hai.

Gaon ka koi bachha jab rota hai, toh uski maa kehti hai, “so ja beta, nahin to Hi-mess (g)ayega”. Thar-Tharrrrr (Shudder!!)

Hum gaon waloen ki taraf se bas ek hi nivedan hai. Kuchh bhi gao, bajao, lekin Radio par mat mao.

Woh aisa hai na, itni door veerane mein ek radio hi hamare entertainment ka sadhan hai. At least woh to mat chheeno!!

—————————

Well, obviously, Hi-Mess wasn’t pleased with this letter. His countenance underwent a myriad of emotions , best seen here.

Poor Hi-mess, after all the money he spent in obtaining two voices, it appeared, people didn’t prefer either!!

Wise people.

Aaahh….if only he would stick to making music and give up hopes of becoming an ‘Actor’….I guess only then would I have something positive to say about him!!

*walking away humming, “Soniye…..” *

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I need a Kaif-ee break, people!!!

All of you who’ve had enough (and I mean, seriously ENOUGH ) of Ms.Kaif, please raise your hands. In fact, raise both. I need as many protesters on my side as I can.

This pretty kewpie doll suffering complete paralysis of facial muscles , survies, naah, THRIVES on Indian soil just because she is the so called  ‘luck’ factor.

Apparently,  any movie that she stars in turns out to be a hit….or relatively so.

That is reason enough for greedy producers to demand her presence in their films. Money is the ONLY reason she has been able to invade the 77mm and take control (and also because of the benevolence of a certain Mr.Khan). Its almost haunting!!

Someone please get rid of her .ASAP.

Or atleast give us atleast 3 months where she isn’t starring as a lead OR as a cameo in any movie. Please!!

Just watched APKGK. Wish I hadn’t.

Watched Blue last week. Ditto.

Watched Singh is King before that. (What do you call 2-times-ditto??).

Watched Race, Welcome, Partner and ALL such movies that I really shouldn’t have.

And I have only one word to say for her.

P-L-A-S-T-I-C.

And yet, YET, she gets the honours as described below, in imdb :-

———————————

Voted at the No. 1 spot in FHM India’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll.

Won Best Female Style Icon at the IIFA Awards.

Won Sabsay Favourite Heroine Award (2008).

Won the British-Indian Actor award for the Zee Cine Awards (2008).

Won the Stardust Breakthrough Performance Award (Female) for Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya (2005) (2006). *

Is the most photographed woman in India.

Is the most searched Bollywood celebrity as per Google’s 2008 data.

———————————

All this just for being a pretty face!!

She sure is one ‘Lucky’ girl.

And I’m full of sarcasm!!

(* This one really cracked me up!! Breakthrough?!! Performance??? Were the judges on a cocaine high when they decided that SHE was the one?!! But then, its “Stardust” we are talking about. They can be forgiven. They HAVE to do something to get noticed. They gotta earn their bread-n-butter :). Remember these headlines??)

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Of Twilight and New Moon

Have you read the twilight series? The ones by Stephenie Meyer.

Or maybe watched the movie version of the first book called, yeah right, Twilight.

twilight-poster1

Twilight

new-moon-poster2-692x1024

New Moon

IF (and thats a BIG if ) you are a Twilight fan, read on but dont comment. If not, read on….and comment if you have the time (Which is NOT the case with most of my readers, since I get zero/zilch/nada/cero/nul/nought/zip comments!!)

I watched the movie at home. Pirated CD , of course!! How else do you think half the population of India watches English Movies?!! ( Multiplex, you say! Oh yeah, the multiplexes here in Pune display posters of English movies months in advance, but the movie runs barely a week before its pulled down. So just when you find that week-end time off to visit your nearest multi for a movie, what-do-ya-know!! The screens are replaced by movies like “Teree Sang” (I kid you not. Thats how it was spelled) and “Agyaat”!!)

Anyhow, so I watched this movie at home. And here are my impressions about it :-

— I didn’t find the romance between the lead pair captivating. It seemed more put-on. Forced. Kristen Stewart as Bella is sooo un-convincing!! And I so hate her voice (also called as alluring by some, but hated by most). You can hear her here (tongue twister, those last 3 words 🙂 ).

–Edward Cullen is one Vampire with heart. And RPattz does do a good job. If only he wasn’t so effeminate in his looks…..its almost as if God started creating a woman and changed his mind at the last moment, and gave him that awfully harsh sculpted jaw!! It clashes so bad with the rest of him!! And he actually has a fan following among guys!!! Shouldn’t be surprising actually, stranger things have happened before( I believe there exists an Emran Hashmi fan club having male members!! Shudder!!)

Taylor Lautner as Jacob was the only convincing actor. Sadly, his cheerful, boyish face was hidden behind all that hair.

But the movie was a HIT , and that matters the most , I guess.

The sequel to it is releasing shortly..another 8 days to go. Am not sure whether I want to see it or not. The only favourable part is that this sequel’s lead is Taylor and NOT RPattz. And if you’ve seen the promos, you’d know that Jacob has chopped off all those tresses and looks, oh-so-stunning!!!

Talking of sequels, is there any Hindi movie which had a successful sequel?? (Munnabhai doesn’t count, because the second part was not in continuation of the first one. There is ‘Nigahein’, the sequel to ‘Nagin’ and ‘Dhoom2’ . Haven’t seen both. So no idea about their success factor.)

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(Un)intentional Hilarity

“Yaara Oh Yaara….milna hamaara…jaane kya rang layegaaaaaaaa”

Remember the song?

Or you remember Sunny Deol doing his impersonation of the IPL cheerleader’s act?

Anyhow, heard this playing in an auto this morning. And had this rush of emotions clogging my head. I just have to vent it out here!!

The song, as you all know, is from this movie :-

Jeet

Genre:Action.Romance.Drama.Err......Comedy(?)

As I was saying, this movie was released in 1996. And being in the remote Army location, we had the opportunityof seeing it somewhere around 1997 or 98 in an open-air theater (that pleasure in itself demands a separate post!!).

The reason I remember this movie so vividly is because I have never laughed at any other non-funny movie ever!! Seriously.

The movie was a mound of clichés. No, make that a mountain. As far as masala movies goes, the director had collected ALL the spices he could lay his hands on. Alas, not ALL spices compliment each other. Something that the director overlooked!

Anyhow, here’s what I found funny :-

First, the cast.

Karishma Kapoor. This film is from the days when the word “Subtle” didn’t exist in her vocabulary (or anyone else’s for that matter). She tore the screen with her high-pitched screams and over-the-top acting. The make-up itself could make you go deaf!! Yeah, it was that loud!

Thankfully, Manish Malhotra rescued her in time for her next release a few months later(Raja Hindustani). But still, she HAD to revert back to her old style (remember the RED dress with the RED lipstick, RED shoes and RED choker?? Makes one see red!!)

Salman Khan. Am no fan of his. Specially when he carried the “Hum Aapke Hain Kaun” hangover for waaaay too long. This movie wasn’t an exception. Acting like an over-keyed Jack-in-the-box is fine to a certain extent. Its when we cant differentiate between the actor and the JITB, that we have a problem. In this movie, he’s supposed to be KK’s childhood lover. So that gives him the liberty to hop all over the place proclaiming his love for the heroine. I wish parents make sure their kids have better modes of entertaining themselves so that they dont grow up to be a pain-in-the-you-know-where!!

Sunny Deol. How the mighty had fallen. Sunny baba tried his best to revive his character from the Ghayal days. It just didnt click. Wearing a dirty wig, dirty clothes and mean expression, Sunny didn’t evoke the dread that his character was supposed to. It evoked laughter. Much of it. Mostly because you could see his wig slipping in many scenes 🙂

 pre=””>Alok Nath. Nothing much to say. Alok Nath has mastered the art of being the single-father-painfully-bringing-up-kids-single-handedly-only-to-be-spurned-at-all-stages-of-kid’s-romantic-life. He excels once again. If you begin your career as “HaveliRam“, you really cant expect much in future, can you?

Anyhow, back to the movie. A couple of scenes which were really funny went like this :-

1) KK confessing to Alok Nath (Eternal father) about her love for Sunny’s character. KK , with disheveled hair, big tears streaming down bigger cheeks and bright lipstick in place,  wrings her hands in frustration and yells, “But I love him PAPA”. I wasn’t the only one laughing then 😐

2) During the song, “Saanson ka chalna….” , there is this scene where SK is behind KK and he goes down tickling her back (The description is gaudy, no doubt. But you have to see it to believe it!!). KK clasps her hands in sheer rapture, eyes closed. The camera pans to a train in the background. What SK didnt realize , was that he was still in frame when the camera panned to the train. So at one time, as he goes down behind KK, he gives up the tickling and turns his face away from her with an “I-better-get-the-smell-of-this-perfume-off-my-senses-and-ASAP” look. His hands are off KK, but yet, she continues wriggling rapturously!!

3) SD doing push-ups with a kid(aptly called Timepass) on his back. KK comes up giggling and replaces the kid by herself. Apparently, SD does not hear her giggle, nor does he realize the change in weight (assumption being that KK weighed the same as a kid half her height and half her size), he doesnt realize the air is more fragrant (owing to high spirits.  Of course I’m talking about the perfume !!), he doesnt hear the rustling of her clothes (Those were the days when the heroine used to be clad in yards of cloth. Even in a shalwar-kameez). Conclusion being that SD was a blind/deaf/ someone-who-cant-distinguish-smells/someone-who-cant-feel-the-extra-weight-on-his-back.

And KK falls in love with him. Why?? WHY??

There are many many more such instances when there are serious gaffs in the movie. You dont even need to look for them They stare right at you. Apparently, this movie was a ‘Hit’ , maybe because of the songs. But then again, who in their right mind would like to see a gaudily dressed Sunny Deol stomping on mother earth for all he’s worth!!

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Script Detection

Remember I had mentioned a movie shooting taking place in our office premises?

Well, I got hold of a few snaps with Sanjay Dutt and Kangana Ranaut. Even got to see the shooting for a couple of minutes. After that, it just didnt seem worth the time and effort (it was AWFULLY HOT!!)

Anyway, back on track, here are the snaps :-

Sanjay Dutt

Deadly Dutt ...a face in the crowd!

Kangana Ranaut

Ms.KR....sans the curls

 The reason MsKR was unrecognizable was because of her newly straightened hair. Miss the curls though!!

The short scene that I did get to see, gave me a slight inkling to what the movie is about.

[Spoiler alert ahead. Read on if you dont give a damn anyway.]

 Anybody seen “Phone Booth” ?? The Colin Farrell one?? Well, if the film DOES turn out to be a B’wood version of this H’wood film, remember, you read it here first 🙂 .

PS: Colin Farell does so look like Emran Hashmi .Not that I’m a fan of either. Just a random observation 🙂 .

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