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Note : This is NOT a film review.

Warning : Long , rambling post ahead.

 

Now that the noise over SRK’s MNIK has subsided, I guess it is safe for me to come up with my thoughts on this movie.

First, the positives.

It was a nice film, had a nice flow, was witty at times and funny at others. Mostly, it appeared to be an honest take on the lives of people (read , muslims) post 9/11. The things I liked about it were :-

— SRK, in a role where he didn’t have to throw back his head, arms spread out, and breathe in deeply with a dimpled smile to woo his lady love. What a relief!!

— Kajol, looking good, acting every bit her age in a role which was believable.

— SRK, who surprisingly, knows his ‘Kalmas’ , ‘Surahs’ and ‘Duas’ in Arabic. His recitation and diction were impeccable. I had this impression of him being a totally non-religious person. But the way we uttered those prayers were truly authentic. By the way, its not easy to mug up arabic prayers from the Quran. It can come only through year’s of practise in reciting them.

–No irritating dance and song numbers. THANK GOD!!!

— Zarina Wahab. I had no idea I was sick of watching Rakhi, Farida Jalal and Reema Lagoo in motherly roles, until I saw Zarina Wahab. What a refreshing change indeed!!

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And now for the negatives …..

The points I will list here are not the real negatives per se, but they are the points where I feel the movie scores low. I have reasons for those points and I’ll try to make my views clear. Most of the readers may not agree with them, but then , it is natural. At many points, I may go off on a tangent and appear to discuss another matter altogether or I may appear to be ranting, but believe me, its all rooted to this movie.

Anyhow, here goes :-

— I couldn’t understand why an innocent Muslim has to be portrayed by an Autism patient. Couldn’t we have SRK playing a normal healthy muslim who is innocent? It is a known fact that autistic patients, irrespective of any religion, are devoid of hate/crime . They are truly innocent. If the director wanted to prove that there are innocent muslims out there who are targeted wrongly, he could have done so more convincingly with a normal muslim, one, who is more capable of expressing how it feels to be targeted wrongly. But I guess, it wouldn’t have worked at the box office.  The director knows that the majority of the population holds muslims guilty for all crimes under the sun and doesn’t want to shake that notion. Else, who would come to watch his movie?? The minorities? I doubt.

— too mush of Islam. Which I guess is needed, but not like this. Not wrapped up in candy floss and bundled and thrown at us this way. I agree we muslims chant our ‘Surah’s ‘ anytime we feel like. We recite the prayer ,‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi rajioon’ (We come from this earth and we go back to the depths of this earth) when we hear of someone’s demise. We give ‘zakaat’ * (religious tax) every year which is other than the regular ‘Khairat’ (charity).

When we were kids in school, we had the entire Ramayan and Mahabharata as a part of our syllabus. We had separate books for the two. And I wondered then, why didn’t we have more information on Islam or Christianity or even Sikhism?? Why were these religions relegated to a single paragraph each? Why not cover more on it? Though, the books did manage to mention , even in that confined space, that Islam permits four marriages (the innumerable terms and conditions are conveniently ignored ) and eating meat (There are Hindus, Christians, Sikhs, Parsis and most other religions which don’t prohibit meat-eating. Yet, this ‘Meat-Eating’ title is reserved for muslims. Why??)

Anyhow, I digress.

My point is, the movie was more like a lesson is Islam, where the director preached every possible facet of the religion in a span of 3 hours. Well, 3 hours aren’t enough to understand Islam, but for a movie which a public pays to watch, it was too much. Either way, it didn’t work.

— The not-so-plausible romance. Well, Rizwan Khan is cute. He’s persistent. He’s in love. Its easy to see why he falls in love with Mandira. But tell me, why does she fall in love with him?? Why does she marry him?? Because he shows her the San Francisco skyline at dawn? It was cute to see SRK doing the blushing act when Kajol asks him to marry her…but all the while, I couldn’t help having this niggling thought that the proposal just didn’t click! Or was I the only one?

— Supporting characters. How desperate were Sumit Raghavan, Arif Zakaria, Praveen Dabas , Navneet Nishan and the rest to pick up roles that gave them a maximum of  2-3 minutes of screen time? Was the banner that was the bait or was it the tag of acting in a ‘monumental-coming-of-age-movie’ by Karan Johar (by the way, I personally feel, KJ came of age long time back when he made KANK. If that isn’t being grown up, what is?)

Whatever the case, it was sad to see talented veteran actors, who  have held their own in substantial movies, being relegated to the sidelines in roles that could have been performed by any 2-bit actor. Sheer waste of talent!!

— Reel after reel depicting Rizwan’s heroism and tenacity. I can’t help but roll my eyes in dismay at the way in which he’s the ONLY one in the whole of America to come to the rescue of residents of Wilhelmina. He’s the one who’s not afraid to offer ‘namaz’ even at the risk of missing his bus (irrespective of the fact that at no other point in the movie was he shown praying.Or did I miss out that part??).

Also, at no point in his journey does he run out of money. How much did he manage to carry in that sack of his?

— The gentle, subtle insinuation that all whites are mean and the blacks are decent, loving peaople. Why the disparity?? Aren’t blacks equally proud of their country and vary of terrorists?? Then how come they all trust Rizwan , whereas the whites hate and suspect him at sight??

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Coming back to the issue at hand, about the treatment meted out to muslims. Well, it didn’t all start with 9/11, did it? It started a long time before that.

With Dad being in the armed forces, I never really had a chance to see what discrimination on religious basis feels like. But I did get to taste it once I got to staying on my own. Like the time I was hunting for a PG accommodation during my post-graduation days. I had classmates who were paying guests and they introduced me to their land-lords. There were rooms available and when I used to enquire about them, I was welcomed warmly. Surprisingly, ALL the vacancies got filled in as soon as they heard my name. Too much of a freaking co-incidence!! And oh, there was this one lady who was honest enough to state that she didn’t want to entertain a muslim. Frankly, I was too shocked to even ask why!

When I narrated this tale to the BF, he just smiled ruefully. “Welcome to he real world”, he told me. And then he started off on how, throughout his childhood, he was subjected to discrimination. Like the time his teachers called his parents to school and asked them to pull him out of it because they couldn’t see him going anywhere in future, and it would save the parents the hassle if they could kindly get him a job in a garage or some such place so that he learns to earn his living. This, in spite of the BF being the most popular boy in his class and getting elected as class representative year after year, in spite of him being an excellent sportsperson, in spite of him scoring the highest in the IQ test held in his school . Thankfully for the in-laws, better sense prevailed and they made sure that the BF and his siblings got the best education possible.

This is just one incident in his life. There were many more like this. When he was sent on site the first time, he had to make his own living arrangements which would be later reimbursed by the company. The BF had gone with a hindu friend. Surprisingly, his friend got a PG accomodation within 2 days, and though that place had vacancies, they wouldn’t give it to the BF. Obviously, the BF’s friend was quite embarrassed and ready to give up the place himself. But the BF convinced him to stay back and hunted for another place on his own. One place did take him in eventually…..it was a place rented by muslim students.

Another fellow student and subsequent colleague had a much more sad tale to narrate. He was in Ahmedabad during his school days. His class teacher, mind you, had named all the muslim boys in the class (there were four of them) by the names of Pakistani cities. So my friend was titled  Karachi. The teacher, and the rest of the class used to call these boys by their given names. Sometimes, the teacher even went to the extent of asking these “Pakistanis” to go back to their country (whatever that means)! I wonder how it would have felt for a young impressionable mind to face such mindless hate so early in life. I know that when I faced it, I was quite broken. My stern belief in being Indian and being accepted for what I am,was at stake. There were people who actually felt that I wasn’t worth being in their presence. What was my crime? That I was a muslim!!!

I did speak to many of my muslim cousins, friends, colleagues to find out if they have faced any such situation. And should I be surprised to know that they ALL had their own sorry tales to narrate? That they all rued the fact that they have to put in more effort, more patience, just to be accepted for who they are?

Somehow, the movie MNIK touched all these raw nerves and yes, inspite of it being tacky in more ways than one, it is doing good business. It is watched again and again by people in muslim dominated countries. It is watched by people like the BF and my friend/colleague who know that they are discriminated against, for no fault of theirs. It is watched by all those muslims who believe that they are innocent , and not terrorists.

Question is, does anyone believe us?

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I felt like an Idiot…..

……after watching 3 Idiots!! 

No, seriously, I mean it. 

Hold on, hold on. Dont start throwing the jootas and chappals yet 🙂 . Hear me out !! 

It was a Raju Hirani movie. The one of Munnabhai fame. 

I had high expectations. 

It starred Aamir Khan. My HERO!! 

I had higher expectations. 

It starred Madhavan. (Does anyone remember Ashley from Banegi Apni Baat? I was lost at the first sighting of those bunny teeth!!) 

I was, expectedly, raring to watch this movie. 

And I did. 

Wish I hadn’t. Under all the brouhaha over its being the highest grossing movie of the decade(really!!), I had this urgent need to voice my dissent. And why not?! The movie challenged my intelligence, treated me like an imbecile, whacked  me on the head with its ‘message’, all the while covering it up with sugar-coated preaching. 

Impossible to digest. 

I’ve been trying to prepare a list of what actually irked me to no end, and finally, I’ve mustered the courage to put it up here (at the risk of being treated to rotten tomatoes going ‘SPLAT’ on my face!!)

Anyhow.

1) The leads . Check them out. You’ll know what I mean!! 

Idiots, ALL of them!!

Balding Sharman.Check. 

Wrinkled Aamir. Check. 

Flabby Madhavan.Check. 

Why couldn’t I have the pleasure of watching a regular 20-year old play the lead role? Why , Mr. Hirani?? You’d rather pay up for Aamir’s steep rates than to invest in finding good newbies for the role? Do we really lack talent that bad?? The bags under Aamir’s eyes can hold small change in them!! 

The same applies to Sharman as well as Madhavan. 

The movie starts with freshers joining an Engineering college. And we all know that people apply for engineering after their 12th standard boards. That makes the students 17-18 years old at the time of joining and 21-22 at the time of graduation. 

At no point of time in the movie, could I relate to these three as “Students”!! 

2) Boman Irani. WHY??? Aren’t you SICK to DEATH of watching him play the blubbering “Principal” yet again?? Only this time, he gets to wear a curly wig and talk with a lisp. Method acting, anyone?

3) Premise. Raju and Farhan are looking for their friend Rancho for the last 10 years. Why couldn’t they have approached the Principal (with whom they had better relations towards the end) and requested Rancho’s address?? Wouldn’t it be in the student’s personal records?  After all, wasn’t Rancho’s father a multi-millionaire?? He would be well known. 

What took them so long??

4) The suicides. Aaahhh!! What do we have here?? A Principal confidently telling a student’s father  that his ward is not going to graduate. Student commits suicide. No action taken against the Principal. 

A student being asked to make a choice between getting rusticated and implicating his friend. Student commits suicide. No, make that, jumps from the Principal’s office, while the Principal is still in there!! 

Any action against the Principal?? None. 

I wonder what kind of a**h**** sit on that college’s board!!

5) Doctor doctor!! 

Tell me people, am I wrong in assuming that Kareena Kapoor’s role was that of a SUPER DOCTOR in the guise of a simpering maiden?! So not only is she the fountain of knowledge in Neurology, she’s also the resident gynaec, spouting delivery techniques using a web cam! 

The whole of Delhi has only ONE doctor available, and her name is Pia S.  

Save me God!!

6) Suhas. 

Ok, so this guy was called a price-tag. Agreed. Pia dumps him. Understood. 

But what wasn’t clear was that WHY did he wait for 10 years to marry Pia?? Don’t people move on in life?? Couldn’t they have shown Pia getting married to someone else?? Would it have made a difference?? 

It almost made me pity the poor guy. He seemed more genuine in his affections than Rancho.

7) Ragging. I haven’t understood the director’s fascination for ragging. And in the same manner too !! So we had freshers catwalking in their underwear in Munnabhai and here we have freshers slapping their bottoms in their underwear. Is this the ONLY form of ragging you are aware of, Mr. Hirani? 

And oh, did you know ragging is considered as a punishable offence??

8 ) Preach-a-holic. Thats what Aamir has become. The TZP bug had bitten him hard. The venom still flows in his veins. What other excuse could there be, for him to spout gyan at the drop of a hat?!!! 

Student’s funeral, give bhashan to the Principal. 

In the classroom, give bhashan to the lecturer. 

At the wedding/mall, give bhashan to the lady-love. 

At drunk get-togethers, give bhashan to friends. 

Its a wonder everyone didn’t conspire to strangle him everytime he opened his mouth. 

But behind the bhashan to the characters on screen, was the ‘subtle'(?) gyan being dispered to the public at large. First fifteen minutes into the movie, we come to know of the purpose of the film. Fifteen minutes later, we are told again. Another fifteen minutes pass by and once again, we are made aware. After interspersing the gyan throughout, the message is conveyed once again, just before the end credits roll. 

Thunk, thunk, thunk.  

Thats me banging my head against the wall.

You see, Mr. Hirani, I got the message within the first 15 minutes. The worst of the “Duh”s would have got it at 30. But you weren’t convinced .

The Agony of it all 😦 .

9) If I’m not wrong, the college was a co-ed, right? It had girls sprinkled across the campus. 

Isn’t it considered indecent to bathe in public when women are around? Why no action was taken against Rancho when he bathes with a water hose? 

Oh, I get it.  Its acceptable, because he’s a guy!!!  Right. 

What if a girl had tried doing that stunt in college? 

Double standards??

10) Mona. Pia’s sister. She gets married, goes into labour. Nowhere in the entire film does she EVER mention her husband. Even at the crucial time of her delivery, no one bothers to inform the father-to-be. In fact, they don’t even  call him after the kid is born!! 

I mean, C’mon!!! Isn’t the baby’s father the first person a woman thinks about after she delivers?? The first person she craves to give the news to? 

The least they could have done was shown Mona grabbing a cell phone to make that all-important call!!! 

Anyhow, I seem to be ranting here, which is not the entire purpose. 

It was a movie, funny at times, but irritating at others. The only person watchable, was Omi Vaidya, as Chatur. 

I wrote about him here before. 

I’m not sure of the postive impact of the film (except for the moolah it has garnered for the people involved with it), but the negatives loom large. 

There have been a spate of suicides recently. Or maybe, the media is highlighting these in the wake of the movie. 

Whatever the case, I personally feel that Raju Hirani could have done a much better job. There was so much potential here. 

Alas, it was all lost the minute Aamir gave his, “am-a-cute-youngster-with-stars-in-my-eyes” smile. 

There’s a limit to which we can be fooled.  Didn’t expect you to do this to us, Mr.Hirani 😦

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When I met Atul Kulkarni

Long back,about 6-7 years back, dad was visiting Pune. When I got back from college, I found him watching a movie CD on the comp.

Dad called out to me and pointing to a guy on the screen asked me if I knew who he was. There was this lanky guy with the meanest look in his eye. Looked new to me. I shrugged my shoulders and told Dad that I had no clue.

Later that night, I watched the same movie, “Dum“.

The guy playing the role of “Encounter Shankar” was mind-blowing good!! No wonder Dad was asking about him. How come I hadn’t seen him before?? Going through the credits once more, I came across his name. Atul Kulkarni.

A few weeks later, I got a chance to see “Chandni Bar“.  And I was hooked. I used to eagerly look forward to his films. One of his best performances was in “Satta“. He totally owned the middle-aged politician role!!

At work one day, good buddy Shripad (from here) asked me if I was interested in buying tickets of a marathi play for my mom. My mother was visiting me those days and once in a while, she had expressed a desire to watch a marathi play (she hadn’t watched a play in more than 25 years, since she married dad!!)

Shripad and his fiancee were going for the show and I asked him to buy one ticket for mom too. The he told me that the play had Atul Kulkarni in the lead role.

Thats it.

I just HAD To go.

The play’s name was “Samudra” , and it was supposedly a deeply profound and thought-provoking drama (going by the expression on the faces of Mom, Shripad and his fiancee). I, for one, couldn’t keep my eyes off the main character. I didn’t understand a word he spoke. Just that he had immense presence.

Once the play was over and we were heading towards the exit, Shripad’s fiancee asked me if I was interested in meeting Atul Kulkarni.

“Are you kidding ?? Lead me to him”, I yelled.

She took me back-stage and there he was. A tall lanky guy, busy signing autographs.

My heart was threatening to burst out of my chest and here I was, standing in front of this guy, an ugly grin plastered on my face.

“Hi, I’m N. I love your work”, I said.

“Thank you. Did you enjoy the play?”, he asked me politely.

“Ummm ……not really”.

“Why not??” he was concerned.

“I don’t understand Marathi. I came here just to see you”, I blurted.

Must say, he had the grace to blush.

There were unruly people pushing us from behind and I had to wrap up my talk-time with Mr.AK.

But I was happy. Nothing pleases one more than a humble celebrity. A person , good at what he does, but still having starry airs about him.

I’ve seen plenty of his movies after that, and I’ve loved each role of his (except for the one Dilli 6. Why-O-Why did he accept such a  DUMB role??)

And now, for a second time, I’m gonna sit through his movie without understanding the language.

Yup, am gonna watch “Natrang“, a movie which everyone here is raving about.

Am sure you’re gonna be great. As always.

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My newfound respect for Uday Chopra. 

Yes, you heard that right. 

I, MomOfRS, have developed a sincere respect for Mr.Uday Chopra, aka, the jerk-who-played-the-joker-in-Dhoom. 

What brought about this change of heart, you might well ask. 

And I’d say, that, I saw his performance relative to some other ‘well known’ , ‘established’, ‘National Award’ winning actor’s performance and it was like a sock to the solar plexus. 

“Whooooosh”, the air gushed out from the lungs. 

Could someone be that bad?? 

That they make the other bad ones actually look good?? 

Such is the case in the horribly sickly sweet rom-com “Pyaar Impossible”!! 

If you wonder, why I sat through it if it was soo bad, well, let me tell you , I was quite shocked to react. 

I mean, here I was, watching a film, and actually looking forward to seeing more of Uday Chopra than PC. I mean, he was far more watchable than her!! He even acted better than her!! 

Uday Chopra!! For Godsakes!!! 

Am yet to get over the hang-over!!! 

As for PC, I don’t even want to give space to her on my blog (any more than required!!) 

Coz, at one point in the film, she says,  internet is like,” http://www.way-over-my-head.com”. This, coming from a PR officer of an IT Company

Who selected her?? 

Oh, wait a minute. I guess those ultra-mini outfits got her the job. 

Must be. Can’t see any other reason for her being employed!!! 

A special mention must be made for the 11-year-old acting as a six-year-old. 

Cute girl, bad lines. Can’t blame her. 

If you plan to watch it, then please don’t. 

Unless you are an Uday Chopra fan. Then you may. You might actually put up his posters in your bedroom wall. 

And if you are a PC fan, God help you. 

She’ll be way over  your head too 😦 

Anyhow, what really irked me to the core was their blatant parroting of the words, ‘pyaar’ , ‘possible’ and ‘impossible’.

Sample this :-

UC : I love her……mumble..mumble…my pyaar….mumble..mumble…..impossible.

UC’s father : no shit!! mumble…mumble…possible.Mumble…mumble…pyaar….not impossible.

UC : Mumble…mumble…..impossible….pyaar.

Little-girl : Its possible…..mumble…mumble….love…

Song : pyaar impossible…..pyaar possible……pyaar impossible….pyaar possible……..PI…..PP……PI…….PP…..

UC : …..pyaar…mumble…mumble….possible.

UC’s father :mumble…mumble…always possible. Mumble…mumble…pyaar….not impossible.

PC : ummm……Aaaaaahhhh…..Oooooohhhhh….impossible!!!…….Ufffff……pyaar!!

Song : ….Its Possible…….bara bara bam bam…..possible..possible…possible….

PC : Pyaar possible….

UC : Pyaar possible.

Little-girl : Pyaar possible.

UC’s father : Pyaar possible.

Momofrs : GOD!!! Can’t believe I sat through this shit!! Its IMPOSSIBLE!!!

 

 

Definitely Impossible!!

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O-MI GOD!!

Like everyone else and their uncle, I watched 3 idiots this weekend.

And before you get any ideas, this is NOT a review. I can’t do reviews. Seriously. Because the movies which I generally like, turn out to be duds 😦

And the movies that I think stink like rotten eggs, come out toppers.

So don’t rely on me for reviews.

Anyhow.

The verdict?

Its fun. Its patronizing (to a certain extent). It definitely presses the right buttons with the audience (comprising majorly of college going students). To a certain extent, Kareena’s role was insipid. The director could have easily done away with her role. But I guess, a little eye-candy was required.

But overall, the movie was just so-so.

Now before you start throwing those rotten tomatoes at me, hear me out.

I felt that all the actors did what they usually do. They were good actors and putting in their regular performances. I’m a die-hard Aamir Khan fan but I still feel, this role was just too average for him. He could have easily sleep-walked through it. It didn’t challenge his capabilities as an actor. Madhavan and Sharman were also just fine. Nothing outstanding from these two. Sharman, by far , was more interesting in “Rang de Basanti” and “Life in a Metro”. Madhavan, doesn’t get to display much emotion. And yeah, all that puppy fat didn’t help his cause either!!!

I went in for the movie, expecting to see something new. Something different. After all the rave reviews from all quarters, I thought it must be really fresh.

And this time, though I was initially sceptic,  I did get to see it.

Ok, now honestly, if you have seen the movie, which character did you like best? Which character drew the maximum laughs? Who was it who lit up the screen with his/her presence? The mere entry of whose was guaranteed to draw a laugh from you.If not, then atleast a smile 🙂 .

Yup, you got it right!!

Am talking about Chatur Ramalingam.

Aka, Omi Vaidya.

Omi Vaidya

Where were you all these years , Omi???

This guy blew my mind with his acting. His welcome speech in Hindi in his curious mix of Ugandan+Tamilian accent was mind-blowing. It wasn’t the content so much as was his presentation. And the best part was his consistency of performance. When he was a student, he looked like a student. And when he was a middle aged successful executive, he looked that part.

Compare that to how the three main leads appeared during their college days and their appearance after the 10 year gap. Not much. They looked middle aged during college and looked the same after that too.

Omi’s was the only role that stood out. A performace that stood out among the stalwarts.And before you think he’s just any comic actor, let me tell you that he is a writer, editor, actor, director and producer.

Its just unfortunate that he’s more into American television/movies than Indian.

I would just so love to see him in more hindi movies.

I’m personally looking forward to him doing an out-n-out comedy with him as the lead.

What fun it would be?!!

So Omi, Kya yeh ho sakti hai?

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A Royal (Hi)Mess

Hi-mess Reshammiya fans beware. This post is not for you, you faint-hearted, nasal-sound-loving, cap wearing losers!

The others, meanwhile can read on.

A villager from a far-off land once started writing a letter to Hi-mess bhaiya. It went something like this :-

————–

Pranaam Hi-Mess bhaiya,

Aap bade din baad dikhe. Aur dikhne ke baad yeh khayal aaya, ki bhala aap kyun dikhe? Hum sukh se life bita rahe the…itne mein ek aandhi aayi aur saath mein ‘mann ka radio’ layi. Lagta hai galat ‘station’ tune ho gaya.

Kasam se kehte hain Hi-mess bhaiya, purane zamane ke K.L.Saigal saab yaad aa gaye.

Ab yeh sochiye, ki agar K.L.Saigal saab ‘tune’,’full-2′, ‘attitude’, jaise lafz istemaal karte to kaise sunai dete??

Bas , lagta hai aap unhi ka doosra roop lekar aaye hain.

Lekin Hi-mess bhaiya, aapko to pata hi hoga, hamare gaon mein insaanoen se zyada pret-atmaaon ko aapse pyaar hai. Aapke gaane bajne par hi woh apne assigned tasks par jaate hain. Aajkal maut ka bulawa bhi aapke “Jhalak dikhla”ne par hi aata hai.

Gaon ka koi bachha jab rota hai, toh uski maa kehti hai, “so ja beta, nahin to Hi-mess (g)ayega”. Thar-Tharrrrr (Shudder!!)

Hum gaon waloen ki taraf se bas ek hi nivedan hai. Kuchh bhi gao, bajao, lekin Radio par mat mao.

Woh aisa hai na, itni door veerane mein ek radio hi hamare entertainment ka sadhan hai. At least woh to mat chheeno!!

—————————

Well, obviously, Hi-Mess wasn’t pleased with this letter. His countenance underwent a myriad of emotions , best seen here.

Poor Hi-mess, after all the money he spent in obtaining two voices, it appeared, people didn’t prefer either!!

Wise people.

Aaahh….if only he would stick to making music and give up hopes of becoming an ‘Actor’….I guess only then would I have something positive to say about him!!

*walking away humming, “Soniye…..” *

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I need a Kaif-ee break, people!!!

All of you who’ve had enough (and I mean, seriously ENOUGH ) of Ms.Kaif, please raise your hands. In fact, raise both. I need as many protesters on my side as I can.

This pretty kewpie doll suffering complete paralysis of facial muscles , survies, naah, THRIVES on Indian soil just because she is the so called  ‘luck’ factor.

Apparently,  any movie that she stars in turns out to be a hit….or relatively so.

That is reason enough for greedy producers to demand her presence in their films. Money is the ONLY reason she has been able to invade the 77mm and take control (and also because of the benevolence of a certain Mr.Khan). Its almost haunting!!

Someone please get rid of her .ASAP.

Or atleast give us atleast 3 months where she isn’t starring as a lead OR as a cameo in any movie. Please!!

Just watched APKGK. Wish I hadn’t.

Watched Blue last week. Ditto.

Watched Singh is King before that. (What do you call 2-times-ditto??).

Watched Race, Welcome, Partner and ALL such movies that I really shouldn’t have.

And I have only one word to say for her.

P-L-A-S-T-I-C.

And yet, YET, she gets the honours as described below, in imdb :-

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Voted at the No. 1 spot in FHM India’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll.

Won Best Female Style Icon at the IIFA Awards.

Won Sabsay Favourite Heroine Award (2008).

Won the British-Indian Actor award for the Zee Cine Awards (2008).

Won the Stardust Breakthrough Performance Award (Female) for Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya (2005) (2006). *

Is the most photographed woman in India.

Is the most searched Bollywood celebrity as per Google’s 2008 data.

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All this just for being a pretty face!!

She sure is one ‘Lucky’ girl.

And I’m full of sarcasm!!

(* This one really cracked me up!! Breakthrough?!! Performance??? Were the judges on a cocaine high when they decided that SHE was the one?!! But then, its “Stardust” we are talking about. They can be forgiven. They HAVE to do something to get noticed. They gotta earn their bread-n-butter :). Remember these headlines??)

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