The last few months have not been good to me. Much of it was of my doing. Call it procrastination, mismanagement or just plain ‘I-want-to-run-away-from-it-all’ phase!
To say that I could have handled it better, would be an understatement. I could have done a WHOLE lot better. But the truth is, I didn’t. And somehow, I let people walk all over me. I let my work affect my personal life. Obviously, it wasn’t taken to very kindly at home. I became even more irritable. The children sensed it and became all the more cranky. It was terrible.
My method of facing it all was unconventional. I moped a bit. Fell ill. Had an accident (purely unintended 😀 ) . And I came through it all. The only reason I stopped posting was because I was disillusioned. Nothing seemed good enough to write about anymore. Yes, even about the kids. They were the shining, bright lights in my life, yet I couln’t bring myself to write about them.
And then, 16th December happened.
It was painful, just imagining what the girl must have gone through. And somehow, that put a LOT of things in the right perspective. Here I was, struggling to get through the silliest (in retrospection) troubles in life , whereas there was someone out there struggling with a much bigger battle. Alone. It seems so futile now, all those worries and bitterness that I harboured for the last few months. It hasn’t helped me in the least. Rather, I lost some really precious updates on my children. I could have posted, but I didn’t. My self-imposed exile has hurt no one more than me.
2013 is at the door step. Though not all together easy, my one and sole resolution for the new year would be to keep family as my primary goal and work secondary. When I look back now, I realize that all the extra hours and efforts I had put in at work, were useless. I lost the precious time when my kids were learning new things. I wasted the precious time when my entire family was in town after 2 long years. I wasted the time by not being around for a dear cousin’s wedding. I wasted the time when the In-Laws came back from Hajj, all exhausted and gaunt and I wasn’t around to help them with the hordes of guests. Yes, I wasted a lot of time. The work that I did in office, just wasn’t worthy of the sacrifices I made.
Not anymore. Its going to be straight nine-hours of work for me and not an hour extra 🙂
And I promise to blog more often 🙂
On that note, have a GREAT YEAR people! Let 2013 have fewer calamities and more joy, fewer deaths and more birthdays, fewer vehicles (I wish 🙄 ) and more trees. Let us all cherish what we have today, be content and be happy 🙂