In Transition

It would seem to you all that I’ve been ignoring my blog. Well….it isn’t the truth and it isn’t too far from the truth either. Fact is, I’m moving back to my parent company shortly. This month end would be my last working day at the client side.

Even as I prepare to leave (prepare the documents to hand over, train new joinees and also complete the project tasks ) I cant help but regret that I leave behind some of the most wonderful people, who I can safely say, are excellent friends. I’ll miss them sorely, the only consolation being, I do have a few good friends back home and I know I wont be lonely at lunch hours in my office.

The last month was a whirlwind of work, both at home and in office. Since I’m leaving , I haven’t bothered to load any snaps of the twins on the computer here. There is so much to say, so many updates to post, but I lack the time (rap on the knuckles for that one, as Dad would say!) to sit down and hit that publish button. Life at home is no better, we’re struggling with severe maid-issues, what with all of them coming from troubled families and begging us to let them stay on and yet, not putting an iota of effort in reporting to work on time! That’s one long sentence and though I really feel I must shorten it, I wont. I’m too busy babbling right now 😀

I think next week will be better. Frankly, I’ve been so caught up with work lately, that the thought of being work-less even for a short while, gives me the goosebumps. I need to apply for interviews for other projects, clear them and then get assigned to a decent project (praying for a project that allows me to leave by 6:30 pm. *fingers crossed* ).

The other side of me wants to just quit my job, pack a bag and hop onto the first train that comes my way. But that’s just the escapist in me talking! The BF wisely says that go where I might, our current issues won’t leave us. The kids wouldn’t become less peskier, the prices will  still rice and I’ll still get my pimples. So its better to stay here face them head-on.

Right now, I’m feeling a little low that I’m leaving behind the comforting routine of the last 2.5 years. But maybe, this is exactly what I need to do. Break the routine. Change the track. Swim in a different lane…..you know, do something different. Do anything different. Though it isn’t a wise decision financially, I stand to lose a cool 10 grand per month as client side incentives, but somehow, the money isn’t a draw anymore.  I want more, but I don’t know exactly what I want.  I know I’m not making sense, but I think just putting my thoughts down here will give me some idea as to what I really want. I think I’m getting there, but the image is still blurry. Oh well, can’t expect life to be served on a silver platter with roses and strawberries decorating the sides.

As for the blog, it is a witness to the good times and the bad times of the last 2.5 years (ironically, I started blogging the same time I started working at the client side). Once I get back to my company, I hope to continue the trend of updating my blog each day. Weekends are uncertain, because the twins insist that if the laptop is switched on, then the only thing that must play on it are either the rhymes or the Barney series 😐

I hope these last few days are fruitful and I don’t get into verbal duels with my team mates ( who are really some of the best people ever!! I’ll miss them like hell and though I say it here, I would never confess it to them 😀 ). My post will be either this weekend, or next week (InshaAllah). I still have to unscramble a lot of thoughts floating in my head in the meanwhile. Till then people, have a wonderful week-end ahead 🙂





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On Growing Old……and Fat

You know you’ve lost your mojo when –

— your daughter compares herself (and her brother) to two little glasses of water, her father to a bigger glass and her mother to a tumbler (lota).In her words, “mummy biiiig hai na“.

— two huge wedges of black-forest cake with cherries sit in your refrigerator for a week because no one else at home is interested and you realize that black-forests don’t tempt you any more.

— your kids insist that their father should not call you ‘babes’ because you are now ‘mummy’.

— you insist on playing ‘house’ with the kids instead of piggy-back rides because piggy-backs tire you out.

— you haven’t used a lipstick in a month and cannot be bothered to either.

— you see that your hair-line just went back an inch while you were sleeping.

— your wardrobe has less of red, pink and yellow and more of browns,blacks and grays.

— you can’t be bothered to make that trip to the salon because frankly, who notices you anymore? Not the hubby, surely (his words, not mine).

— you borrow a book from the library and return it after a month,unread, and don’t feel guilty about it (maybe just a little, not much 😀 )

— you finally get the dress back from the tailor and realize that your waist expanded in the duration it took him to stitch it.

— your regular wear shoes suddenly give you an ache in the back of your feet. And knees.

— John Abraham shoots for a commercial right outside your office building and you have zero urge to go out and see him.

— you now sleep on the bunk bed which you originally brought for your kids.

….and your count stops at unlucky 13 😦 !!





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Personality Changes……. Once Again !!

I’ve been posting about the twin’s antics for a long time now. If you go through the posts related to them, there’s only one thing constant – their changing behavior. At times Lui becomes a recluse and Shobs is boisterous and suddenly, the very next month, they swap their personalities. It is kind of unnerving you know, because here I tell their teacher that my child is like this and she says, No no, your other child is like this! Major confusion there 🙄 !!

Anyhow, post turning three, I’ve seen some really good changes in the twins. They cry less (very less)  and do not wake up in the middle of the night 😀 (God alone knows how proud I’m of them right now 😀 ). They stand up for what they think is right, never mind if it isn’t. They are persuasive, gentle, caring and stubborn. At times, they are hot-headed, arrogant and whiny, but then, they cant be angels all the time, can they?! A little bit of devil plays up now and then 🙂

Presently, Lui, the wicked , has devised a new way of getting out of trouble. If I scold her for some misdemeanor, the little imp turns around to kiss me silly, making me dissolve into hopeless giggles!! How can one be angry under such an avalanche of pure love?!

Scold Shobby for the same and he defiantly defends himself, looking us straight in the eye, even though his own eyes are brimming with tears and his lips are quivering! He will repeat that he was right and we are wrong to scold him. Quite brave if you ask me, because I look like a dragon when angry…..if he’s able to stand up to me, it must be a mean feat 🙂

Lui has a baby-doll which is disintegrating rapidly. But she refuses to look at any other doll. Rather, she expects her mother to stitch up her ‘baby’ every time a limb falls off (a very disturbing task, this) . “Pleeeeeesh”, she whines, with scrunched up eyes and a pretty pout and momma hops out of the bed in search of that darn needle!

On the other hand, Shobs has now decided that his mom is his baby. You have to see the way he cups my face in his little palms and coos, ‘bayyyybeeeeee’ 🙂 !! Yeah, I die of choking  each time 😀 .

But the best thing that I’ve noticed lately, is the gentle maturity they show towards their Big-dadi. No more do they whine that “big-dadi baat nahin karte” or “big-dadi chocolate nahin dete”. On the contrary, they yell at us if we raise our voice even a little bit in front of GMIL. For example, granny’s fracture wounds still haven’t healed. And she has a tendency to keep scratching at it, making the stitches open further. Definitely a cause of worry. So we chide the granny if she’s found scratching away. If this happens in Lui’s presence, then the girl yells at us to NOT yell at dadi 😐 . The little warrior plants herself in front of the granny’s bed, spreads her arms wide and threatens, “koi bhi dadi ke paas nahin ayega” and then turns to the GMIL and in a cool, gentle voice says, “big-dadi, aap khujao”. What brings tears then, is not the fact that the little tyke is defending her big-dadi’s right to scratch, but the fact that the big-dadi has no realization of the same, that she is too detached to notice this shower of love 😦 .

The same goes for Shobs, who, before leaving for school, scrambles onto the GMIL’s bed, plants kisses on her withered face and gently strokes her head and cheeks. He doesn’t talk or say anything. The two look at each other mutely. God alone knows if he’s able to reach her.  I’d like to think that he does. It is a surprise that this otherwise boisterous monkey has this gentleness in him.

A few backs, a friend mentioned that children generally stay away from bed-ridden invalids. I’m SO glad to say that it is not the case in my house. The twins LOVE their big-dadi to bits and it shows 🙂

Sometimes, I feel this huge pang, mind you, that my kids have grown up rather fast!  I wanted it to happen and yet I’m not happy that it did. I miss their babyhood, those toothless grins and those missing necks.  I now feel unprepared for their temper tantrums or their mushy outpourings of love. It helps that they are unpredictable. But then again, it scares the hell out of me too 😐 . The only thing that I’m thankful for, till today, is the fact that the terrible-two never troubled me at the same time 😀 . They took turns, sure, but never did they holler or stomped their foot in unison (Alhamdulillah)!

I still have some sanity left. And a lot of years to go.

*Sigh*

Its a tough ride ahead  😐





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Toothy Matters

This post isn’t about the twins. Its about their momma….and her teeth-troubles.

(The kids are fine by the way, chewing away with their 20 teeth each, bless those little pearlies ! )

Somewhere towards the end of last month, I realized that

1) my teeth seemed more sensitive than usual

2) they looked an unhealthy shade of white (err….off-white, 😳 )

This kind of flummoxed me, since I’m the person who stocks up on everything from toothpastes to brushes to flosses to mouthwash, the works actually. So why oh why do I have to hold a hand in front of my mouth while laughing I ask you!! (No, don’t bother answering that).

Action had to be taken, and pronto! So I hunted a bit on SnapDeal, found a dental surgeon near my place and went in for some serious consultation.

Here’s the report  :-

Total number of teeth faulty : 9

Extractions required : 2

Root canal : 1

Filling : 6

But the worst part was this : I’ve gnashed my teeth so hard in my sleep that the enamel coating has worn off!! Apparently, this erosion takes a long time to occur and it seems, I’m severely stressed out and have a tendency to clench my jaws real hard. Finally, I got an answer on why I have a stiff jaw every morning and also, why I dream of my teeth falling off. AND, the yellowing is because, the white enamel wore off to expose the yellow dentin layer underneath (Whew! I thought he was going to blame the tea :D)  .

Doc also said that dreams of falling teeth are indicative of severe worries and stress. Hmmm….and to think my BIGGEST worry was to save those same darn teeth 👿

Needless to say, I’ve stopped grinning since 😐

“Would you consider removing the entire set and giving me some new implants??” , I inquired politely, looking at the posters of women with purrrfect teeth .

“Sure, it’ll just cost you an arm and a leg, your apartment and all your savings for your children’s future.  When shall we book the first appointment? “, replied back the good doc.

😯

“Err….ummm….leave it. I think I’ll make do with the current ‘God’s implants’ for a little longer. Heh heh? “,I joked. He didn’t smile. Must be hiding his teeth!

Anyhow, fact of the matter is that, I got one tooth drilled and filled. The doc’s suspicious that the decay could be deeper than what it currently appears to be. So the tooth is full of stuff that’s generally used for kids. In other words, my tooth is under observation.

Two more teeth got a little filled, or rather, coated with the same composite stuff. It would have solved the problem really, but since my jaws don’t rest all that naturally on each other, my face looks a little crooked, if you know what I mean!

A little scaling, a little polishing, loads of instructions on oral care, a handful of pamphlets later, I walked out feeling like a new woman. A woman, who’s MUCH older than me. A woman, who’s advised to stay off biting into hard things (good bye ice-cubes….it was lovely to bite into your crunchy blandness all these years!). A woman who’s been asked to stay off tea 😯 and coffee *gasp*

How will I survive??

(No, don’t bother answering that either!)

I still have to do that root canal and those extractions (of the wisdom teeth), something that I’m putting off for now….not too keen on it actually…but what has to be done, has to be done! If not now, I’ll suffer worse later on 😦

(Wisdom comes while sitting with your mouth agape, I guess . With cheek pads and cotton rolls stuffed in the most unlikely places).

2012, you’re turning into quiet a pain, you know!

And the year has just started 😐

Hope you all are having it better. No? No??

Tell me about it 🙂





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Confession Time

*raising hands in the air*

Okay. I’m guilty. Awfully, woefully so!

The one thing that I swore NOT to do in the new year, is exactly what I’m guilty of.

Procrastination.

(Yeah, the same big ‘P’ that ruined the year 2011 for me).

Though I try not to show it, I’m a lazy bone to the core. If something can be put off for now, I’ll put it off. If something isn’t die-hard urgent, I won’t do it. If the sword aint dangling over my head, I don’t give two-hoots. ’nuff said. I guess you get the picture.

I had planned to get the twin’s uniforms altered because they’d grown an inch over the year.Two weeks of vacations went by, I didn’t get it done. School started today and my kids went  there with their dungarees riding way up their ankles 😦 . Same’s the case with their holiday homework *hanging head in shame* 😦 .

I haven’t visited the gym for the last two months.

I haven’t completed my course at the driving school.

I haven’t returned the library book in over a month!!

I didn’t do a New Year’s post (Though I had it all planned in my head!!) .

My list of  stuff-not-done far exceeds my list of stuff-I-have-to-do 😦

For a long time there, I gave the excuse of GMIL’s ailment. But then, I’ve realized lately that I myself  am not doing anything for the old lady. We have maids to look after her day and night. I have a nanny to tend to the kids during the day. There’s a cook who helps out in the evenings and another who does the clothes and dishes.

Then what exactly am I doing that takes up all my time??

Apart from work in office (which takes up more time than normal), I cant think of anything else that I’m busy with. Which is a shame really, because I kind of prided myself on my ability to multitask. Alas, for the last few weeks, I have a shameful record. I do less and crib more. I get more irritated with the twins than I’d be willing to admit 😦 . It came to a point when the BF started giving me a wide berth !

Of all my supposed ‘resolutions’ , I think the ONE thing I must focus on is to JUST.STOP.WHINING!!! God knows how much I’m reveling in this attitude, as if the entire burden of the universe lies on my not-so-frail-shoulders!! Ours is not the only house with an invalid and kids. I’m not the sole working woman on this planet. There are others who have it much worse! And yet, I make excuses for myself and my habit of putting things off!!

There was a time when I averaged around 2-3 posts a day! And now, its the third day of the new year and I’m yet to publish anything!

So now that I’m done with the rant,  *raising my glass high* I hereby propose that this year, I’ll do my best to do things on time. To value things dearest to me and to stop cribbing. To love more and expect less. To be there for people who need me (whom I’ve shamelessly ignored recently. Apologies BFS 😦 ) and not be afraid to turn to friends when in need. To be more cheerful and less whiny. To be more productive at work and at home. To learn to stand up for myself and demand my due. To spend as much time with the kids as possible. Ditto BF. To call home more often and to never give the ‘because-I’m-busy-at-work’ excuse to parents.

To savor each moment of this year as it comes.

And to blog more. Of course 😀

On that note, belated though it is, I wish you all a VERY fulfilling 2012.

Happy New Year Folks 🙂





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