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Archive for July, 2011

This morning, I decided to send the twins to school in their uniforms. Till now, the uniforms needed some alteration because of which the twins  were going to school in informal wear. But since the uniforms were ready, I thought it a good time for them to try it on for school. As I was busy ironing the clothes, Shobs comes up to me and says ,” Mujhe eliphan nahin chahiye”. Busy with ironing, I wondered who ever spoke to him about elephants , that too in the morning!!
“mujhe eliphan nahi chahiye”, he repeated. I turned back to look at him and saw him pointing towards Lui’s uniform.
“Did you say,uniform nahin chahiye?”, I asked him.
“Haan. Ooniphan nahin chahiye”.
“Kyun”.
“Nahin chahiye”.

Obviously, I made him and Lui wear the uniform to school today. There was no rhyme or reason for Shobby’s demand and consequently, there was no reason for me to give in to him. He wore it without much protest and preened off to school 🙂

I’ve been thinking since. The twins have reached a stage when they can clearly state what they ‘want’ (chocolates, ice-creams, toffees) and ‘dont want’ (food, spanking, sleeping on time ). I think this is a good progress in a way because they can now think for themselves. I let them express their views, but I don’t necessarily give in to them. So even if they protest, they have to have their dinner, they have to sleep on time and they do get spanked for misbehavior. Till date, I have decided what they should wear and what they should eat. I get them toys, games and let them decide what they want to play. But that’s about it. I guess I’m one of those controlling moms who don’t give their children the freedom of choice. I’m okay with that tag 🙂 . Must be the old-fashioned parenting gene I inherited from my mom 😀

I never take the kids out shopping, specially, if I’m visiting a mall or a department store. I buy them what they need, but I don’t ask them what they would prefer. Because once they enter a store, I can bet the last hair on my head that they will ‘want’ everything that the store has to offer. Any refusal on my behalf would only result in a gigantic tantrum multiplied by two! A situation I’m not keen on facing myself. In fact, I have very strict notions about children in department stores, something about which I’ve written earlier too. There is no point in exposing the kids to mounds of temptations when I know its beyond my means to fulfill them. Many a times, it so happens that the kids fight over a particular toy for approximately 5 minutes, after which they both discard it and refuse to do anything with it. They have a fickle attention span and that’s one reason why the twins refuse to play with anything that requires them to sit in one place for more than 3 minutes!

Anyhow, back to the wants. The twins are still in a safe situation. They have never thrown a tantrum in public over something they want. It’s not as if they haven’t expressed their desire for something, they have, but I’ve been able to deflect the request with change of topic (thank God 🙂 ). Also, I don’t let the kids watch television, except maybe Animal Planet. Luckily, after a few minutes of watching fishes swim aimlessly, they are disinterested enough to get back to playing, eating or doing whatever they want to do (like, driving us nuts 🙂 ). I don’t show them cartoons on television (on the laptop sometimes, but not much. I don’t encourage them to watch LCD screens for prolonged periods). One of the major reasons for avoiding television is the blatant use of children to sell anything and everything. I’m not sure if I’m the only one disturbed watching little ones dispensing advice to their ‘Duh’ parents/relatives on which is the best product in the market. Kids sell everything from a washing soap to a motorcycle to an insurance policy (the only stuff kids don’t sell today, is condoms, but then, wouldn’t it be ironic if they did 😐 ?!). It is a brilliant tactic from marketing agencies, and also a toxic one. I can see no other method which would make rational adults buy all the stuff that their child wants! And indeed, parents do! It’s difficult to refuse your child if he is aware of those things being sold. I’m safe as of now, because my children are not aware. And it doesn’t worry me much if my kids look blank at the mention of Ben10 (another major marketing gimmick in the guise of a toon character) or give two hoots about Tom & Jerry. My kids are happy with what I give them. The rare chance when I ask them if I can get them something, is more of a privilege, a token of appreciation for good behavior for example.

My concern now is, how do I instill the difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want’. How do I teach them what a ‘want’ is and what a ‘need’ is? It is important that they learn the difference, the earlier,the better. I see little children around me harassing their parents to get them everything under the sun. The well-off parents oblige. Though I’m not super-rich, I  know I can buy some of the stuff for my kids at their whim. But the question arises, should I ??

How do I teach the twins about children who don’t even have their basic needs met? How do I teach them that what they want today may not be even looked at tomorrow? How do I teach them about money ? About the difference between ‘price’ and ‘value’?

Sometimes, the MIL thinks I’m too paranoid, that I should give in at times. The only reason I don’t, is because I know that once I fall into the rut, I too will do the same. I too will bow to the twin’s demands, however unreasonable they may be. And they in turn , will get used to demanding.

If you have dealt with this problem or have any suggestions, do share. I need as much information as I can get to prep myself up for this parenting gig . I swear I had no idea I would have to deal with so many issues when me and the BF decided that we wanted to be parents!

So netizens who are parents (and those on the way to be and also the ones who want to be), chip in with your inputs. I’m all ears 🙂

 


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A 55-er

Trrrringggg

“Hi”.

“Hi”.

“Your parcel arrived yesterday”.

“Why didn’t you tell me then ?”

“Am I not informing now”?

“It’s not the same”.

“Maybe to you. By the way, I’m busy”.

“You don’t care anymore”.

“Do you?”

*Click*

*Click*

………Silence………

Trrrringggg

“I’m sorry”.

“So am I”.

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.  ~Ruth Bell Graham

———————————————–

My first attempt!! Whew!

I never thought it would take me 7 hours to think up of a 55-er that made sense 😦 (assuming that it does make sense 😐 )



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The Soup Slayer!!

Go get that soup girl! Don't let it get past ya!!

And that’s how my daughter ‘attacks’ her bowl of soup. And just as you wonder about the fierceness of her expressions, she does a perfectly lady-like act of wiping her lips when she’s done –

"Let me lick off this stuff before I use the napkin"

Looks like I’m not an altogether failure where public behavior of my kids are concerned *wiping sweat off my brow* . That’s one major hurdle crossed, I guess 😀



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The most dreaded phase of toddler-hood is here.

I’ve been avoiding it for ages, hiding under a rock, humming to myself, pretending I never heard it, but it all comes back. Again and again and again!

Ladies and gentlemen, my children have conquered the realm of  *takes a deep breath*, “WHY“!!

*gulp*

Yes, I’m in the unenviable position of answering the Why’s of their daily life. These are not the simple routine questions expected of little toddlers, no make that pre-schoolers.They dont ask me why they have to eat their meals or get out of the bed in the mornings. They don’t ask me why they can’t go out to play in the park after sunset or why Lui wears frocks and Shobby wears trousers. No. They don’t ask me such simple questions. Because they are my children, they have to make my life miserable. They look for opportunities to ask me the most embarrassing questions in public. In fact, they ask me odd-ball questions irrespective of the venue 😦

Check these out :-

1) Me teaching Lui a hindi song –

“Machhli jal ki rani hai”

“Mathli jal ki naani hai”

“Jeevan uska paani hai.”

“divan uchka paani hai.”

“haath lagao, darr jayegi”

“aath lagao, dar jayengi”

“Bahar nikalo, mar jayegi”

“Baal nikalo mal jayengi. Mummaa….machhli kyun marr jayengi??”

“Err…ummm….because there is no water. Machhli paani mein rehti hai.”

“Machhli bahar kyun nikalenge?”

“Umm…*blush*….err..khane ke liye.”

“Kyun?”

At this point, I find it very difficult to explain to her about her mother’s undying love for seafood. I skipped the topic  and jumped to another poem.

2) I was ironing my clothes one day, humming to myself. Shobs heard me and asked –

“Mumma, gaana gaati?”

“Yes baby.”

“Kyun??”

“Err…I like singing. Mujhe achcha lagta hai.”

“Kyun achcha lagta hai?”

*Mentally searching for a little more intelligent answer, and coming up with -*

“Aise hi!!”

“Kyun aise hi?”

Aaarrghh!! At this point, I’m sure the tyke is not as bothered about the answer as he is to see his mother all riled up!! I grunt and don’t bother to reply.

3) Me giving the twins a towel rub down after their bath.

Lui : Mumma, mere paas woh nahi hai (points to Shobby’s privates)

Me : Err…ummm…..its okay, you are girl.

Lui : Girl kya hai?

Me : See, Lui is a girl, Shobby is a boy.

Lui : Kyun?

Me : *stumped* Err…ummm…because Lui likes to be a girl (forgive me , but I had to come up with something!!)

Lui : (thinking it over)…Phir Shobby girl kyun nahin hai?

Me : Uff forget this. Jaldi karo, school jana hai.

Digression, thy name is N____!!

4) The MIL was folding laundry, when Lui spots some of her mother’s innerwear. She grabs at it and runs with it to my room.

Lui : MUMMA!!! Aapne pink chaddi kyun nahin pehne, BOLO!!!

Mumma, who was entertaining friends in her room, burns with horror!

The friends, of course, are rolling on the bed , laughing 😦

5) The BF is leaving for some work on a Saturday. I kiss him on his cheeks and bid goodbye, not paying attention to the two brats who were observing this activity with great interest.  I initially wondered if they’ll comment on it , but they didn’t. The brats  kept quiet about it throughout the day. Obviously, by evening, I had no recollection of it. And then, obviously, my kids had to remind me of it, right in front of the family, including the GMIL –

Shobby : Mumma, aapne Abu ko pappi diye the na?

Me : *gulp*

Lui : (yelling) Kyun diye pappi aapne?? Haan?? Jaldi bolo!!

All eyes look towards me and then look down. Everyone tries best to stifle their snigger. I, of course look the picture of mortification. MIL comes to the rescue, changes topic and tells me to feed the twins their dinner. Thanks to this thin twig of rescue, I herd the brats back to my room. The room, of course resonates from the families’ laughter !!

Life, as they say, is a perennial circle of questions. I can understand my twin’s inquisitiveness, their eagerness to know, even if the context is beyond their understanding. I can see the genuine interest in their eyes when they ask me something, their faces shining bright with the eagerness to learn.

What I can’t understand is, why me?!!

Why cant the twins confound the BF with their queries?

Why doesn’t anyone else land in a humiliation pit because of these two?

Why am I the butt of ALL their non-conformist queries?!

Pray, WHY?!!



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Hey All. Hugs to you. I’ve missed y’all like crazy and missed posting on my blog like a drug addict misses his dope.

*snort*

Whew! Now that I’ve got ‘high’ on seeing my own blog, let me update you on the many things that happened in the last two weekends. Since its a loooong update and I have a lot more work to do than usual, I’ll give a bullet point list of the major activities in the MomOfRS household (and also the outside 😀 )

  • I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part -2. Good friend from work, SK and me decided to book our tickets and watch the show sans our husbands, who have no appreciation for Harry Potter whatsoever (their loss, I say) . So we girls had a fun time watching the 3-D movie. My only grouse is that I somehow want the movie to stay true to the book and I did feel a little let down when the major action events in the book barely landed a second’s notice in the movie. Where was Grawp? Where was Fred Weasly’s valiant fight with the death eaters? Where was Hagrid? Worse, where was Voldemort, the evil Lord, whose name alone sends shudders down one’s spine?! Here, he looked just like a weak creature of the earth, struggling to gain control over Hogwarts and Harry (in that order). I missed them. But the special effects! Go watch the movie just for it 😀
  • Went for a special colleagues get-together last Sunday. This was my training group in my current company (in the year 2004) . Its wonderful that even after so many years, we are all in touch, though most have moved over to other companies, other jobs. Most of us made it for the get-together, but some couldn’t. The BF couldn’t accompany me since he had his own appointment with his friends, so I dragged Lui along for company( The MIL took Shobs along with her to her friend’s place). I swear we were the loudest crowd at the restaurant. We yelled and screamed at each other, hugged each other and went crazy over the kids 😀 . It was needless to say, a VERY happy gathering. Will some pics from the meet soon. BTW, it was a wet,Wet,WET day!!! And I did the BIG mistake of forgetting Lui’s raincoat at home. So as security measure, I wrapped her head in a scarf, covered it with her sweatshirt’s hood and then wrapped my jacket around her and put the hood on (in case you are wondering, I had my own raincoat in the dicky). When we returned home, I was shocked to see that her scarf was damp, after all that wrapping up, my dear daughter had got soaked anyway…..but then I realized it was just sweat 😐
  • I’ve been reading voraciously for the last couple of weeks. Read some good books and some trash. Also bought a few books through FlipKart. Their service is rather impressive, I must say! I decided a few months back I would now focus more on Indian authors than foreign ones. It helps to read the insights from a fellow countryman , I guess. Anyhow, the latest to join my list are Arvind Adiga’s Between Assassinations, Anything For You Ma’am by Tushar Raheja (avoidable 😐 ) , The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, Urban Shots by Paritosh Uttam and a host of newbie Indian writers, No Deadline For Love by Manasi Vaidya (fellow mommy blogger 🙂 ) and Paths of Glory by Jeffrey Archer . I completed the first three in this list and am currently reading the next three simultaneously (blame it on the multi-tasking thread in my head 😀 ) . Hey Prats, your story was cute. Super cute. Me likes 🙂
  • Shobs gave me a health scare last Tuesday. He was restless and lethargic and reluctant to go to school. But he was enthusiastic while taking his bath and getting dressed and having his breakfast. So I bundled him off to school in spite of his protests. Alas 😦  . I reached office pretty late that day and as soon as I stepped in, got a call from the BF that he had received a call from the twin’s school. Apparently, Shobby had thrown-up at school and was howling for his mamma. He also had a high temperature. Lui, was accompanying her brother in the crying business and driving the teachers mad. It was pouring that day and I was a long way from home. Luckily, the BIL called to say that he could get the twins back from school and to a doctor faster than it would take me to reach home. So I gave in and the BIL did the running around. It turned out that Shobby had chest congestion and wasn’t coughing enough to release it. Some cough-syrup and Meftal later, he was chirpy as usual 🙂
  • The twins LOVE school (Alhamdulillah). I still can’t belive that the only tantrums I have to face are those related to who will go first for bath or whom I have to dress up first! Its a race between the two, with Lui making sure that she wins, by hook or by crook!! So she’ll run into the bathroom and douse herself with water when I’m outside, removing Shobby’s clothes for his bath. Obviously, since she’s wet, she’ll have to bathe first . This girl is cunning, I tell you!! 😀 . And hey, I have one doubt. I give my kids as little medication as possible (hoping that they build their immunity rather than depend on medication), then why is it that my kids crave for medicines? I mean, I can ask them to behave themselves if they want medication (however bitter it may be) and they’ll toe the line!! Administering medication is a happy time in our place and the strictest punishment would be a threat to deprive them. Not sure if this is a good sign or a bad one 😐
  • Went shopping this Saturday, hoping to find some good catch in the monsoon sale. How disappointed was I to find that the only good stuff available are saris (which I don’t wear). There is a severe dearth of dress material and the stuff that is available , is all old stock – looking as dull as old clothes do!! It was a very unsatisfying day, with me and cousin L depressed to wasting an entire day and finding nothing! NOTHING!! I did buy a couple of things, but nothing that I’m happy about 😦
  • I visited a Police Station after a long time 🙂 Okay, so dont jump to conclusions and think I’m a regular the 😀 . The only time I went before was when I had to get my passport documents verified. This time, it was for the twins. The verifier took a hefty amount before doing the needful, but we had to wait for a long time for the Inspector to come in and sign the documents. We had an appointment for 8 pm, the fellow came in at 9:15. We were out by 9:30. In those 1.5 hours, the twins turned up the crank factor because it was past their dinner time and they didn’t like the fact that there was no place to sit. Plus, it was pouring outside, so we just stood in once cramped corner with the other families awaiting their document verification. Luckily, we were out before the twins threw a full-fledged tantrum! The severe looking police inspector wasn’t helping the matter any!
  • The BF’s aunt went back to her home on Sunday. We escorted her back home, me, the BF and the twins. The weather was lovely and clear and it was a nice chance to get the kids out of the smoke and pollution of the city, even if it was for only a day 🙂 . It was nice to have the aunt with us, we are thankful to her for all that she has done for the GMIL, but her family needs her too. It was hard on the granny to let go, but in the end, we couldn’t be keeping the aunt with us indefinitely, could we?! The twins called out to the aunt as we left her place, surprised that she didn’t hop in with them. These last 6 months, the twins had become quite attached to her and she to them. So though she didn’t sob much when she left her mother, she sobbed buckets as we pulled out on the road 😦 . I guess thats what kids do best! Make us addicted to them and then crave their presence !!

This week’s going to be tough. We have our client visiting from US and we need to comein by 9 sharp each morning. No more flexi-timing till he’s in town 😦 This has put a cog in the gear of my daily schedule, but with the BF chipping in, hopefully, the days will pass by like a breeze. Today, the MIL bathed the kids and the BF dried and powdered them before changing their clothes. He also fed them breakfast, readied their bags and waited with them downstairs for their school van. I do all the above everyday, but just typing this out and knowing that the BF does it all now, gives me a cheerful feeling  😀 . I wish he does this everyday of the twin’s school life 😀

Anyhow folks, I’ve been away for long. There’s a lot I need to catch up on now. Most of you have been blogging like crazy and I have hundreds of posts to read. Time is running out, so I now bid you adieu. Will come back with more posts and more pictures this week.

Till then, Have a great week ahead.

Love,



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Apologies

I am unintentionally unavailable these days, thanks to my exceeding the allowed net usage *groan*

I’ve always managed to reign in myself at the border, but this time, I guess I lost track of all the time I was using up on the net (damn you bloggers!! You addict me and then you deny me my own blog!!) and ended up with a few MBs over the expected limit. The fine is not too high, but it does not make a good impression…..makes people think I do less work and more online entertainment (wonder where they get these ideas from 🙄  )

Its been tough, staying away from blogging. I thought I could post something from home, but the cretins I call my kids think otherwise 😦

Alas,  all I can do is to ask pardon. Spare me this week. I’ll be back with a bang by this weekend (hopefully)

Till then,

Merci !!

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…………while I take some time out to de-clutter the mind.

As usual, I have about 6-7 posts in half-finished status. I update each and every one of them as and when I get the time. Unfortunately, I have LOADS of work today and the multiple blog threads are cluttering my head. I guess I’m making a conscious effort to concentrate on 1) my work and 2) Single post at a time 😀

But since I don’t want you to feel deprived (since you dropped by already 🙂 ), I leave you with this little puzzle-joke.  Till then, HAPPY WEEKEND 🙂

——————————

A blonde calls her husband on his cellphone.
Blonde: “I’ve got a problem!”
Husband: “Tell me.”
Blonde: “I’ve just bought a puzzle, but I can’t solve it!”
Husband: “Is it that difficult?”
Blonde: “Yes, I don’t know where to start; all pieces look similar!”
Husband: “What’s the image on the cover of the box?”
Blonde: “A red cock, but I really can’t solve it.”
Husband: “Wait a minute, I’ll be right there and we will solve it together!”

A few minutes later the husband walks in.
Husband: “And where is this puzzle of yours?”
Blonde: “It’s right here on the table…”
Deep silence falls, and then a sigh…
Husband: “Okay, we will do the following: you’ll put all corn flakes back into the box and I’ll forget the complete incident.”

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