Yep.
Those exclamations are justified. At least when it comes to me and my ‘office’ experiences. Foot-in-the-mouth-itis is a common ailment I suffer from. And now that Parul has opened a gateway to get hold of her book (pretty please , I Luuuurve your blog. Could you send that book over? No? You prefer reading the post first? Oh well. You asked for it 😀 ), I have no choice, but to disclose my office escapades (if you call it that, since I’m still employed (and not thrown out yet!!) ).
Here goes –
—————————————–
FITM 1
So we are all sitting in a conference room, having a call with our on-site coordinators. The call goes on and on and on and everyone on this side is getting fidgety, eager to get out of the ice-cold conf-room and get back to their work.
But no one says anything. The on site coordinator drones on like a cassette recorder whose stop button doesn’t exist. I lose track of the content and in order to stay awake, concentrate on a game of Sudoku from a friend’s mobile.
“…….and specially, we don’t want defects being raised from module <module_name> . We wont get any thanks for just the number of defects. Try and focus on….blah blah…blah….. Have I made myself clear? So <my_name>(who does all the defect-raising)), what do you have to say for it?”
And me, who was busy dozing, caught only two words out of the entire content….”Thanks” and “<my_name>”.
So obviously, being the generous person that I am, I said, “Thats not a problem , you are most welcome. I’ll make sure that we capture all defects from module <module_name>. And yeah, please don’t thank me for it. After all, its a part of my job profile. Ha Ha Ha”.
Silence.
More silence.
Client : I’d like to talk to <my_name> after this call.
Silence.
Shit!!
*************
FITM2
Once again, seated in a conf-room (I tell you, the root of the problem lies in these rooms. Its the atmosphere!!), tele-conferencing with the client (the same one with whom I’ve interacted with for the last ONE YEAR). The entire team is present, a major brainstorming session is in progress, when the client (on the other end of the line) , lets call him Ramesh, asks for my suggestion.
Me : I was thinking Suresh, what if ….
Here, I heard a lot of disturbance around me and people looking at me as if I’d lost it.
Me : (pressing the mute button) What?!!
A colleague : Dumbo, he’s Ramesh.
Me : Aarghh..Shit. Did I say Suresh?! Drat it (switching on the microphone again) Err…sorry about that Suresh, I got your name wrong.
Silence.
Me : Shit.! !! Ooops Sorry. Err…umm…Ramesh, okay, so as I was saying…blah blah…
(after some time)
Client : The plan seems fine, how about the estimations?
Me : We can do like this Sur….Ram….Sur…Ram….Suresh…Dammit!!
Thud. Thud. Thud.
(that was me banging my head against the table)
Client : Ummm….My name is R-A-M-E-S-H. Until now I had no idea it was a tough name to remember.
Me : (now the butt of laughter around the room) Really sorry about that Suresh. Sheesh!! Gosh. I need a break. Sorry to interrupt, but it’s not my lucky day today. Kindly excuse me.
By now, everyone was doubling over with laughter….yeah, even my manager 😦
Client : (to my receding back) By the way, WHO is Suresh??
And you know what?? I have no idea 😦 . I don’t know ANYONE named Suresh. I’ve NEVER had a colleague OR a classmate by that name. I’m still not sure what happened that day 😦
************
FITM3 (well NOT technically, but more a case of bad timing)
This was when I was a relatively new employee. Also, I was new to chatting (at least on the chat-engine types 😀 )
So here I am, chatting with BFC on yahoo. I complain to her that my lead is a snotty oaf and she’s driving me up the wall. BFC is full of compassion and sympathy.
A while later, the lead calls out to me regarding some new work. I’m not sure how to do it. So she comes over to my desk. And while we are working on the issue, a pop-up from yahoo messenger appears on the screen. From BFC. Containing the text , ” Is your stupid lead still troubling you?”
Damn!!
The lead saw it. I saw it. Since she had the control over the mouse, I could only wait for the pop-up to disappear. Though my lead didn’t say anything then, she was royally ticked off. She made it a point to harass me to the extent of leaving the company, but that’s another story 🙂 .
**************
FITM4
I had a colleague and manager , in the same project who shared the same name. Lets call them both Ashish.
I was sitting late in office (since the manager wanted to review a mail, but he had conveniently left for dinner ) twiddling my thumbs for him to return. At one point, I was so ticked off that I ranted to my friend Ashish (not the manager) on chat. The crux of what all I typed was ,”Our Manager is a jerk. I’m so sick of him bossing me around that I almost plan to report him to the Delivery Head”.
And as usual, I sent it to THE manager himself.
Aaahhh…..!!
The matter was shoved under the carpet with the manager and me pretending it never happened. Though ALL my friends had come to know of the incident and were laughing themselves silly over me.
Luckily, there was no action taken. I quit within a few weeks……it was all the pressure of something NOT happening 😀
***********
BTW, a quick refresher course on the rules of the contest :-
- You need to write a post telling a story or an anecdote based in an office. It could be about you, your spouse, kids, neighbour, whoever – it just needs to be based in an office. It can be funny, serious, somewhere in between, but it needs to be based in an office. It can feature a single protagonist or multiple characters, but it…yes, I know, you got it.
- You need to link to her post
- You need to put By The Water Cooler in the title of your post
- You need to leave her a link to your post in the comments section
- If you don’t have a blog, leave her your entry in the comments section and it will be counted
Good luck 🙂
where have you been 😛
Just came to chk a new post and wasnt thr.. and on a refresh thr it was 😛 hehehe what timing i say 😉
Will go read this now 😀 hope all good with you 🙂
Aal izz well this side 🙂
You know…reading you blog since so many days, I am totally convinced you could have done all that mentioned above 😛
Hmmpphh!!
Am I predictable or what?!!
And Prats, how about sending some sympathy this way :D!!
Lolllzzz Sympathy….. yes for the poor Suresh 😛
There is no Suresh 😦
so what exactly did the client talk to you about after the call (in th 1st ancedote :P)
Gooddd ones.. specially the yahoo thingy.. happens to everyone … 😛
Errmmmm…..lets talk of it off-line, okie… 🙂
Lets just say, it turned out to be a little uncomfortable 😀
Hehe! Lol! The FITM4 episode has happened to me too. In spite of the names not being same I happened to b*tch about a manager to him, instead of a colleague.
with me, its more about the moment. I am so filled with rage that I cannot think straight.
I love the Suresh, ramesh thing. Who IS Suresh btw eh??
😉
I swear to GOD I know NO Suresh!!
I have no idea what went wrong with the wiring in the attic that day 😦
And hows the nasty cold now?
The cold’s better. Not so much the cough. But I’m back at work 🙂
Hahahaha!!! The first and second are priceless and had me ROTFLOL. And you didn’t even know a Suresh??!! That takes the cake. Really! Keep at it Noorie. It means more blogs like this! 😉
These reminiscings aren’t entirely pleasurable, you know…..they bring back some bad, BAD memories 😐
Awww… never mind, you made us laugh. Hugs to you.
LOL I am so inspired to do a blog post too
Please DO!!
I’m sure its gonna be a FUN post
*btw, there’s already a post on it you did some time back…..the one where you got locked in the office bathroom stall and almost climbed out the window 😀 . Remember? *
And the lift incident! 🙂
Yeah!!
That was a good one too 😀
Noor I will send the link of this blog to SA 🙂
LOL!!!
Srihari, how the hell did you guess it was SA?!!!
Of course, you are correct, but I’m still wondering 🙂
Noor ofcourse I know.
Anyways 2 days back I told my peer that I’m leaving early and I left with my IM client up. He sent me a message saying “Hari has left, let’s go” 🙂
LOL!!!
poor guy….I can so relate to him 😀
Oh lordy!! hilarious… Still laughing over it… I bet it wasnt fun at that time and would have given you enough stress. So to indulge you, I am going to do a Paranormal investigation on Suresh *giggling*
LOL!!
Goodness MS, I’ve taken enough flak for this fiasco 😀
I still get ribbed over it 😦
LOL @ the Ram-Sur (con)fusion 😉 😉
The last thing happened with me too, and even their names for anything but similar!!!!!!!
😮
Ok, I almost fainted reading your awesome encounters! Really!
I have had a couple of them too, but somehow I could coverup, this is baaaad 😐 Eep! How did you survive?
Don’t ask!!!
It was awfull…and the worst part is that I attract such incidents.
The FITM2 happened last month!!
……………………again d same ques………………….who is Suresh……..arrrrrrrrh………..Ramesh………….”””””/////////***** is he Surrr…..ram…..surrr………………*****WHO IS HE????*** BANGGGGG
I swear to GOD I have no idea 😦
Congratulations. Loved this post. Vey hilarious office expereince.
Thanks SG 🙂
Very funny! Being from IT, I can completely relate to what you are saying.
I routinely attach WSRs instead of Interview review forms in emails to recruitment!
Congrats on the win.
LOL!!
And I thought I’m the only one who bungles up like that 😀
Thanks for the wishes Vini 🙂
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